Decided to study psychology, now I'm having second thoughts???

Hey friends. I just wanted to talk about something and maybe get some insight. I decided to apply for university again. The last time I did was back in 2012 and I was intensely depressed and suicidal back then. I decided to drop out instead. I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now and she has helped me work through a lot of these mental health issues that I suffered from, and while I am not a completely functional person, I feel much more secure and healthy than I was four years ago. I recently decided that I'd like to study psychology, because maybe I could use it to help people.

I like the idea of helping people overcome their issues and I also think it would be a good thing for me to so as a person in the LGBT community (I am a transgender woman. I want to help other queer and trans people and I think the mental health field is lacking in people who really understand the personal issues LGBT people face). I felt good about this decision initially but now am wondering, what if I'm going in for the wrong reasons? What if I'm just doing this because I have nobody else in my life to look up to and I've idealized my own therapist in my mind and I identify with her so much that I'm just tricking myself into thinking that I want to become a therapist too? Like I've internalized this idea of her in my mind and identify with it because I don't even have a strong idea of who I really am and that's all that I have to go off of? I'm sorry if this is rambly but I'm having a hard time making sense of this. Is it common for young people going through therapy to experience this kind of feeling? Is there some kind of transference going on here? Am I nuts? Sorry. I know I must sound like a total wierdo. I just wanted to see what you folks might have thought.

Hello bashfulsoul: The Skeezyks is an older person. But I'll just mention that gender identity dysphoria is something I have struggled with all of my life. (So it seems we may have some small bit in common... except that I never did anything to address my GID issues.)

Personally, I think that many people who struggle with mental health issues wish to be of help to others who have similar struggles. It's part of the reason we're all here on PC! (This is true of people who struggle with physical illness & disability as well.) So your interest in working with people in the LGBT community makes perfect sense to me. And it is certainly true that there is a great need for mental health professionals who are knowledgeable about, & sympathetic to, the special concerns LGBT persons have. My personal opinion is that a mental health professional who is not knowledgeable & sympathetic can do more harm than good.

Now, as to your question regarding why it is you want to do this, & if it could simply be a reflection of your idealization of your own therapist, my thinking is that this would be excellent fodder for in-depth discussions with your T. It is certainly possible that your interest is based on your idealization of your T. Or it may not be. It is even possible that it is the case but that, even so, this is still something you would very much like to do & be glad you did in years to come. Many successful people got into doing what they did because of the influence of someone they met who was in the profession & who inspired them. But the only way to sort this all out & decide how you want to proceed is, I think, to have those in-depth discussions. There are various ways to look at this. And different ways to proceed. There is also no way to be absolutely sure. But the best way to proceed is, it seems to me, to talk it all through with someone you respect. And, from what you wrote, it sounds as though your T fits the bill, as they say.

I agree with skeezyks. Discussing this with your therapist sounds sounds like a good idea. I am not sure if they have this at all schools, but you could visit the schools career center and speak with a career counselor. I went to the one at my undergrad and it was helpful. A bit off topic, but they also gave the option of taking a full myer-Briggs test. The results they provided me went in depth about what personality type I was and what jobs/careers my type were most likely in. There might be other similat resources at the university or college that help with choosing majors. AND at the school I went to, you didn't have to be a student to visit the career center or take their tests, it was a service they provided I guess and students just got more discounts. Oh how I wish I used those more often. Best of luck!

I am a psychology student currently. I think simply because I have dealt with my own mental issues is why I decided to pursue psychology. I received such great support from my own therapists that it inspired me to want to help others in the same way. I personally think that most people who go into the field have some person experience or know someone close who struggles with mental issues. I think that it's a plus rather than a detriment.