[Sadness2008]

I have a severe anxiety disorder. I never leave the house other than for college. I struggle with every day life enough as it is. I can't talk in front of crowds or participate in group work without feeling heavily suicidal and like I am going to die. I try my best though, I've been trying all year.

I don't like the way I am. In fact I hate the way my life is, but I never go to a doctor for support because my anxiety disorder is so severe. I am just too terrified to talk to a doctor.

I have a lot of days off sick due to my anxiety making me feel stressed / sick when thinking about the presentations they expect me to present in front of my class for my grades. It makes me feel so sick that I don't feel able to go into college. If i was to go in and go to my lessons and avoid the one that's causing me anxiety they'd punish me with a disciplinary for skipping lessons.

They told me I have to ring in to college to let them know I am sick. Yet again I struggle with this due to my anxiety disorder. So i get my parents to call in for me because I'm terrified of speaking to someone I don't know over the phone. However today I didn't go to college due to my anxiety and a presentation and the college text me:

"Thanks for letting us know about your absence today due to illness. Your absence can be authorized by providing further detail and evidence of a medical appointment. thanks."

Not only is that impossible because I will never go to a doctor even for my anxiety disorder which makes my life hell. But they said they wouldn't authorize my absence until i started phoning in sick and now they do this.

I feel like my college supports those with other problems such as autism and dyslexia, but neglects people with mental health issues. It's pretty ironic considering they always preach to "respect and understand diversity" and to "give everyone a fair chance".

I am so unhappy and this has made me feel physically sick. I can't bring them evidence and they should know this. I told them before I can't go to a doctor about my anxiety, so why do they expect me to give them a note?

I realize this is the standard procedure that the college does for everyone, but my anxiety is a mental health issue. It brings me major mental pain every day. It's hard enough to get in every morning and trying to ignore my anxiety all day. When things happen that I know I can't cope with I avoid them and then they punish me for my anxiety disorder. If i went in an presented I'd have a mental break down in front of everyone and never come in again out of fear of judgement. This really is my only option and the college just doesn't care/understand.

[Sadness2008]

Actually I feel this would be better placed in the anxiety section. If a mod could move it there I'd greatly appreciate your help.

[MickeyCheeky]

Have you explained them the situation? That your anxious is so bad you're afraid to go to the doctor? If you didn't, you can try tell them, maybe they can help you someway

[88Butterfly88]

Since they texted you I wonder if you could text them instead of calling.

[Talthybius]

Presenting is a skill. If you do not have it, you do not meet the graduating requirements and you shouldn't be able to graduate.

They have an obligation, maybe self-imposed obligations, up to some point, to support you in developing your skills when you are having additional difficulties. Letting you pass courses at a lower academic standard than your peers; you cannot expect such an arrangement.

You will have to put in much more effort than your peers to meet the same academic requirements.

You were given a fair chance to show up and present, were you not? It is up to you to take that chance.

Now I understand mental health can be very debilitating, up to the point that you cannot function properly, either academically or professionally. And it seems you are trying to solve your problems alone.
If you are having such difficulties, maybe this is not the right time for you to take on these challenges. Maybe instead of focussing on your studies, focus on becoming functional. Once you can do that, take on academic challenges like presenting. Presenting shouldn't be about overcoming anxiety in the first place.

If you never get help, it may will never get better. From their point of view, why should they go to extreme length to accomodate someone with anxiety disorder when that person takes no action to overcome the challenge herself/himself?

When they have to make an exception for you, on medical grounds, it is perfectly reasonable for them to request a doctor's reference, or something similar.

This may sound like a harsh reply, and maybe one you wouldn't have gotten on the anxiety forum. but these are my honest feelings.

[scorpiosis37]

In order to get accommodations for mental health issues, you have to be diagnosed and in treatment with a mental health professional. That's how it works at Universities. And if your anxiety is that bad, you really need to be in treatment. If you want others to help you, you need to begin by helping yourself.

If you are unable to fulfill the requirements of the class (attending the class, fulfilling the assignments), then it would not be appropriate to give you a passing grade. You just might not be ready for college yet, until you can manage showing up for classes. Colleges are meant to prepare you for the workforce. If you didn't show up for your job, would you expect to be paid? Or would you expect to be fired? What if the company was counting on you to make a presentation for a client?

As someone who was registered with disability services in college (and is now a University professor), I can tell you that accommodations are intended help someone who is qualified for the class by making minor adjustments in order to accommodate the disability. For instance, someone with dyslexia might get 50% more time to take the test. But they don't get excused from the test or get an easier test. I had a student once who had a sleep disorder and was allowed 2 additional absences per semester-- but no more. At a certain point, the level of accommodation would not merit passing the class because the student would not have mastered the material or fulfilled the assignments. College is hard and it's a lot of work. If you aren't able to function well enough right now, then you should really do yourself the favor of getting help. I know you have anxiety about seeing a doctor, but that's the only way you're going to get better. If everyone with anxiety just stayed home and didn't get help, millions of people would be suffering needlessly. Anxiety is really common; I have it, too. Getting help and learning how to manage it-- with minor accommodation-- is the adult thing to do, to demonstrate you're really to go out in the world and earn a college degree and become self-sufficient.

[tradika]

As much as I feel sympathetic to your situation as someone with severe anxiety as well, I feel like you should reevaluate some things you stated.

First of all, it seems that your expectations of the college is incredibly unrealistic. Colleges and universities usually have an attendance policy, or at the very least if absences are not excused, then you do not get to makeup those projects. This happens regardless of “why” you are sick. To say that they are not being fair to you because you have a mental illness isn’t correct. You failed to provide a doctors excuse to prove your sickness. Thus, the college is fully within the law and they are not at any way discriminating against you.

Another thing, if you are unable to complete projects because of your anxiety (in your own words you are equating it to something terrible) right now might not be the best time to continue with college. You sound like you need to focus on getting more stable. That will require you to bite the bullet and go to the doctor. It’s uncomfortable, but the anxiety or panic attack will not kill you. What the anxiety is doing to you now is far worse. It is limiting your future. There are no other realistic options besides treatment. A therapist would probably help as well.

Also, I would say that to be careful what you say about people with autism and learning disabilities here. We (I have dyscalculia) face our own obstacles in obtaining an education. Furthermore, employers do not usually opt to have someone with an LD or Autism. We are in a similar boat as folks with mental illness and most people with LDs and Autism also have MI.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by tradika

Also, I would say that to be careful what you say about people with autism and learning disabilities here. We (I have dyscalculia) face our own obstacles in obtaining an education. Furthermore, employers do not usually opt to have someone with an LD or Autism. We are in a similar boat as folks with mental illness and most people with LDs and Autism also have MI.

This is an important point. I have a learning disability and I faced a LOT of discrimination while earning my PhD and while on the job market. The only accommodation I ever received was 50% additional time on in-class exams, but I was regularly accused of getting "special treatment" by others who had no knworlge about my situation-- just that they saw me walk into the disability services office. I also had several professors deny me my accommodation (which is illegal) and I had to get disability services involved-- which did not exactly ingratiate me to the professor. When I scored the highest grade on the exam in one class and the professor showed the bell curve on the screen, she actually put an asterisk next to mine (no names were used; just scores) and actually wrote "special circumstances!" There is sooo much misunderstanding out there about learning disabilities and the kind of accommodations we ACTUALLY get. For other kinds of learning disabilities, they get things like books on tape or note taking software. We don't get out of any assignments or the attendance policy.

Talthybius and scorpiosis verbalized my thoughts on this pretty well. I am sorry you are having such a hard time, but the reality of the matter is that you may not be ready for college, and the next step should be helping yourself to cope with your symptoms, lessen them, and work up to seeing a doctor.

[qwerty68]

As other have said, it is not discrimination because you haven't provided documentation. Professors can get in a lot of trouble passing students that didn't meet the requirements for passing. Depending on your schools policies, an incomplete might be possible so you can keep working on the class after the term is over.

If you live in the US, you can get extra help(more time on assignments, tests, more excused absences etc) if you get registered with the disabled student office. You need medical documentation for that. They legally can't take your word for it. It is a tough situation, but the rules are in place for a reason. The point of the program is to put you on the same level as the rest of your class. There is no legal basis to give you an advantage.

I had to get registered and it was the best thing for my studies and anxiety. Just knowing I had extra time helped immensely and once I was registered I never struggled again because of my mental/neuro issues.

Taking care of yourself is priority #1. When I was a graduate instructor, I had a student with severe heart problems that had to drop out. His parents actually came in to apologize to me for some reason. They told me he does this once a year, goes to school, gets overwhelmed, causes his heart issues to get worse and he needs to be hospitalized mid-term and tries again next year. He was risking his life and just spinning his wheels and wasting time and money(and pell grant eligibility) and getting nowhere. He was mid 20's and had been doing this since he graduated HS and had no credits earned.

With mental health issues, failure in school is much more devastating. I know that first-hand. Take care of yourself, get some measure of control over your anxiety and try again. School will always be there, unless you flunk out because your anxiety overwhelmed you.

You have a therapist and do therapy.

How is seeing a doctor any different?

[Symbiosis]

Two words for you: online degree.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Symbiosis

Two words for you: online degree.

Be careful with those though as not all are actually accredited

[TishaBuv]

Life is full of challenges. I agree with what others suggested here. If you are too anxious to comply with the system, you'll have to figure out alternatives.

[newtus]

I started going to an on campus university and was unable to do it for many reason including mental health issues. My schizoaffective disorder.

I am since going back to get an online degree. Like bluebird said be careful because not all are accredited.

Mine is though because its just the local community college. Its just an online associates degree. Idk what im gonna do about bachelors.

[AllHeart]

You've mentioned before you would be comfortable going out of the house with your University therapist. Would you consider asking her to take you to a medical doctor?

[Fuzzybear]