[puzzclar]

My anxiety is higher, and I've already had sui thoughts in the past 24 hours. Then you throw in grad school and a job that is in limbo. Which has led to higher anxiety enough where my focus is out the window.

I have already texted a counselor. I feel like the world is closing in on me. keeping me isolated.

I've tried meditation but then my mind wandered too much. I have been up since 5 and it's almost 9. I have a school phone call in 2 hours. and I will hope to hear back from my boss's boss about what to do there.

I'm in limbo. and I hate it!!!! And people expect me to study?! I have so much to do, I"m overwhelmed. I'm trying to take it two assignments at a time but that's not working. I have had thoughts of withdrawing from the term. but I can't do that.

Did I mention I hate HATE being in limbo?

[puzzclar]

Limbo is a great plat to be. Well, now it is.

I have learned a lot about me since this morning. I started off the day thinking I needed to change Master's programs. I made some calls and found out that I need to stay in this term to keep my loan status. I emailed my mentor and the one above her. I got my emotions out.

Here is what I discovered
1, confidence is a big part of the solution for me
2, I can learn what I need to, to become stronger mentally.
3, I am NOT my illness
4, I am in control, not fear
5, watching less TV is helpful
6 exercise is very important for mental health
7, I have more tools to use, after finding an article about self-confidence on Zen Habits
8, I have enough time
9, both programs will work for what I want to do!
10, I need to relax and trust in my abilities and in God

It's been a big and eventful day. And I almost submitted an application for a new job. Believing that it would lead me closer to what is best for me.

I started the day with a question. And ended the day with more introspection and thought in a while.

[Travelinglady]

Good for you! I think folks understand.

[downandlonely]

Sounds like your day has improved. Glad you are feeling better.

[puzzclar]

And then I get an email... cue scary music...

The supervisor over the program suggested a NON-clinical program. What does she think? Can I handle all of this? IS she Gatekeeping me!!!

I"m really low right now, not as low as I have been. I need exercise. but will it be sunny enough to go out for a bit? Being outside would help. I think I need too.

The last week I spent 2 hours and 30 minutes walking!!! and it did help some. But I have a lot to do today, before tomorrow's meeting with my mentor. Do I have enough time to not??