Pissed with myself

I'm so angry at myself for failing stuff in this course. I also even failed a scientific infographic coz get it there's so photos of urine or whatever. It's just irritating I'm annoyed at myself for thinking I'd belong in this job and more annoyed for not listening to my family. I'm just annoyed because I don't know what to do with my life and I'm too weak as **** to approach people I want to talk to because of stupid anxiety. Well you know what because I refuse to confront my problems my anxiety is getting worse. It's just prolonging the pain when will I get some balls and actually get some courage and approach people with what's bothering me. I just feel weak as piss and I'm furious at myself for feeling this lost and weak. No lecturer that makes me learn math has made me understand. It's worse because there's no calculators I hate this course. I want to withdraw but it would be wasted money I know now I'm not gonna pass but the stress is hanging over me. Just **** this world with its obligations I can't do this!

((((black-roses))))

So sorry you are feeling so upset and stressed.

I'll never forget the night before my math exam when I knew I would fail... I couldn't sleep and I hopelessly tried to study... The song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" was, ironically, played on the radio. This is many, many moons ago... And you know what? Your post just helped me to learn the lesson (thank you!), but I'm embarrassed to say that I've repeated the mistake again and again because I hadn't learned the lesson. The lesson, in my case, is "Know thyself"... I've been running away from myself most my life and have found myself as a "square peg" trying to fit into round holes, and trying (from shame) to be someone I wasn't. For the math class, I was going with my head and not my heart and trying to fit in with certain people or ideals when it wasn't me. I took the harder math class because my friends were taking it. When I should've taken something artistic. Wow!


Is there anyone you could reach out to to discuss your issues with the course? Like a school counsellor?

Do you have a psychologist?

The good thing is is that you have identified that avoidance is increasing your anxiety. This is a short video that may further help with that:

Also, there is InsightTimer guided meditations for anxiety and self-compassion.

You need to be more compassionate and gentle with yourself.


Someone told me: if you're going to beat yourself up, at least do it with a feather.

I hope you find some solutions that help with your immediate problem with the course, as well as your overall anxiety.

Let us know how you get on.