live the life you imagine

today's chat topic was "live the life you imagine." unfortunately, the life i imagine is not like my life at all. it entails enjoying foods that i can't eat; activities that my injured body no longer allows me to participate in and a romantic life different from my sexual orientation. well, no wonder i am depressed! i guess i need to learn to live the life i was dealt. what good are imagined fantasies if they can't come true? the fantasies are a waste of time and just make me sad.

I don't think that living the life you imagine is about getting everything that you wish for, but a journey to find the things you want in places you might not have expected to find them. I think fantasies help us see what it is we want, or what is missing. Maybe yours say that you wish you could enjoy more the food that you can eat, that you can find new activities that will feel good physically.

While there is something to living in the reality of what is one's life, there is room in there to reinvent that reality, to add to it and subtract from it, to reinvent it over and over. What fulfills us when young may look very different from what fulfills us at middle age or older. Letting go of what no longer fulfills us and letting in new things to try out is kind of the rhythm of life.

I would create a difference, unhappyguy, between "imagine" and "fantasize". To me, imagining involves starting from the base of where I am; where could I go from here? Fantasy is wholly unstructured, has no base, no "rules" in my own world (it has rules, just not ones that I created).

We can always move forward, "grow". That's what good imagining does for us, helps us picture ourselves meeting our goals. Eating certain foods is hardly a goal :-) unless they are healthy foods we would like to learn to eat and enjoy. I learned to like liver and fish by ordering them when I went out to eat since I didn't cook them myself or have them at home.

Sadly, it is these imaginations / fantasies that are the best part of my day. They are the only consolation that I have. My limited diet has taken the joy out of eating and still leaves me often with an unsettled stomach. I have tried finding new hobbies but have not met with success. Having fun is something I have always had a hard time with. It seems I never learned to play well with others. I don't seem to have the fundamentals to help me to continue to grow and succeed, especially socially. It has been a life-long problem.

I am wondering what kinds of hobbies you have tried? You mentioned that you have never learned to play well with others. Have you tried photography? I find photography to be a wonderful hobby. You can do it all by yourself. You could start with an inexpensive point and shoot camera and if you find you really like it, you could eventually graduate to a DSLR. There are all kinds of things to photograph: nature, animals, people (even those you don't know, it's called street photography). How does this idea appeal to you?

You mentioned that you have tried hobbies. What have you tried? What about photography? If you don't "play well with others," it's an ideal hobby. I am an introvert and I don't enjoy team/group type activities. For me photography is very satisfying and something I can enjoy all by myself. If you just have a point and shoot camera to begin with, that's okay. Start there and if you find you really love it, you can graduate to a DSLR.
You can shoot nature, animals, people, (even those you don't know, it's called street photography) or anything that interests you. What do you think?