I've been setting some goals lately. Been making them very small and very specific so I don't feel overwhelmed.

Which do you find more motivating... positive rewards or negative punishments?

I realize that there are normal consequences to behavior that can occur when we dont' do certain activities (like paying bills and late charges, etc)

but what I am asking is picking specific negative things or having someone else pick specific negative things to happen if you don't reach a goal...more like a punishment?

or do rewards work better for you?

in some ways I think punishments might work better...

[yellowfrog268]

I would have to pick negative. To my mind, I am an adult and most rewards are things I can get for myself regardless of whether or not I accomplish the task. For example, I've tried to force myself to sit and work for one full hour with the reward being that on the hour, I can get a snack or go have a smoke. Well, that didn't work because I can get up any time I please, nothing to stop me. So a consequence would work better for me and only if someone else is in control of it.

[winter4me]

I believe that most studies find positive rewards work best.
You Can just get up and go, or not meet your goal, but you Can choose not to do that.
I believe that punishment simply feeds the nasty beast. Of course, there is a difference between punishment and owning up and addressing your mistakes.
Delayed gratification is a good thing to learn to tolerate...........delayed but attainable.

[tinyrabbit]

Rewards, but you have to make yourself wait for them.

[Perna]

The only thing I can motivate with negative consequences is negative actions? Yes, fear can get me to do things (pay my rent/mortgage or get thrown out of my home :-) but rather than think of it as negative motivation, I look at it as a goal or positive outcome; I'm buying my house; I'm taking responsibility for myself and have a roof over my head (now all I need is food and clothing :-)

What do you really want? If you want it, you will go after it. If it is a chore, like doing dishes, cleaning bathrooms, etc. I don't know about you but I like having clean dishes to put my food on and a bathroom that does not stink of wet moldy towels or isn't a mess or dirty. The house I'm in, that we bought in 2005, the whole place was "flipped"; the original owner, an old lady, died. The people who flipped it had problems and the guy who did or supervised most of the work was probably a drunkard. Anyway, there's very faint vomit stains on the "freshly" painted wall opposite the toilet in the bathroom (why I think it was the drunken flipper guy). One of these days I'll "want" to scrub those off?

What you want is what you want. It's great for others, our spouses, etc. to tell us they want to eat dinner at 6:00 and then they go sit at the table, waiting for their dinner to magically appear If you want the trash taken out, you ask someone nicely if they would please take the trash out. If they do not take the trash out quite as fast as you'd like, you take it out and next time you ask if they'd please take the trash out right now, it is overflowing and in your way making their dinner. . .

We are all responsible for getting what we want. It's easy to make excuses for why we don't have what we want or think we should want or what others want for us but the answer is we don't really want it is why we don't have it.

I just remind myself I can take the trash out and have the man of my dreams providing me a home I love or I can take the trash out and be all alone, poor, lonely, and struggling to live. Either way, if I want the trash to be taken out, that's what I want and is my responsibility to get for myself. Everything is a choice and it is up to you to make the choices that are good for you, what you want.

[-jimi-]

Punishment works. If there is a bad outcome if I don't do something I might do it. If I get a reward of any kind I will not do it.