[Eviespring12]

I'm looking for self help tips for my depression and hypochondria. My parents, subjected under cultural stigma urges me not to seek counseling. My classmate says they don't help much anyways. I feel so black and lonely. Its almost new years and I so desperately want to feel better at least a little this year. Any tips? I'm taking omega-3 vitamins and I can't ask any friends for help since I have none. Anyone help me please?

[penguinh]

I know how you feel. Back in the early stages of my depression, I was too scared to even tell anybody about it. I kept to myself. I was always an independent person and believed that I didn't need anybody else and I could get through it. However, since I bottled everything up, things got worse for me. I found myself easily irritated, much more anxious and just hating life so much. My mental break downs became excessive and my mom knew that something was wrong. I did subtly bring up therapy and she did agree to it but never acted on it- mostly due to cultural beliefs. I tried taking vitamin B complex- which has been said to help stress and depression but it didn't do anything for me besides change the colour of my urine. It just kept getting worse and worse and I was finally pushed to the point where I was firm with my mom about seeing somebody because I could no longer deal with the problems. To this day, my parents don't know the full extent of my mental disorders but it's helped a lot just knowing that I have a therapist and psychiatrist there to take care of me.

I'm just letting you know that this is not an easy thing to deal with on your own, especially if you're feeling so down. Because I waited so long to ask for help, my condition got worse. One major thing was that I started ruminating about things non-stop. I guess to substitute for a lack of therapist, I pretended to be one in my head. It's like a monologue in my head and I can't stop it. I understand that your parents are subjected to cultural stigmas- my parents are to. In fact my dad doesn't even know that I'm currently attending therapy (he said to me that there's nothing wrong with me and if I needed to talk, I could talk to him despite the fact that he's quite ignorant and not comforting at all). Maybe you can start baby steps by talking to a guidance counselor at school.

However, if you are adamant about not seeking professional help and doing it on your own, I guess it is possible too if you have the will. Although I was unable to, I do have a friend who suffered from depression but somehow found herself. A quote that I really like is "When you're depressed, you're fixated on the past. When you're anxious, you're worried about the future. When you focus on the present, that is when you're at peace".

Over the summer, I went on a volunteer trip abroad. It was supposed to be the trip of my life but I was still unable to be happy. But, I did meet a girl who was the most positive/ happy girl I've ever met in my life. When I asked her why, she responded "Well you don't really have a reason to be upset unless you're dying". I know it's cliche but it's true. Some things you ponder over, it's not the end of the world, even though it might feel that way. Just focus on the positive side of it. During the trip, someone stepped on her expensive glasses and broke one of the side of it but she didn't even get upset over it! She wore the glasses anyways as a balancing act and was grateful for the fact that it still fit her face. Something that you can do is keep a grateful jar. Everytime something positive happens, or you're grateful for something, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. When you're feeling down, just read the things in the jar and see what you have to be grateful about.

I know you feel lonely right now and it's hard not to when you're feeling so down. Something that I've realized is that at my old school, I was so busy wallowing in my own sorrows and self-pity that I didn't even notice all the friends around me who cared for me. I just dismissed them and felt so alone. I couldn't even see them as my friends.

I'm not saying that I have it all figured out- heck I'm far from being ok but I always hold on to the small strand of hope that things will get better in the future. Whether it's due to medication, therapy, or a change in environment. Things have to change sometime right?

Sorry for the long message but I hope it helps you feel better!

[Eviespring12]

cultural stigma is killing me. Literally. I might face abandoment if I shame my parents by going and, to some degree,I suffer from separation anxiety. I can't live without my mom

[TheImpossibleGirl]

Could you talk to your school counselor, like penguinh said? Or another mentor, teacher, church leader, older sibling, even your boss if you're employed? If you really feel like there's no one you can open up to, you could try writing a journal. That helps me sometimes.

If you're in crisis and there's no one to talk to, call 1-800-273-8255. That's the crisis line for the US. They'll be able to talk you through the worst of it. There's also a crisis chat at their website, but it has limited hours whereas the phone number does not.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

There are a few things you can do to help with depression, these things may sound basic but they can make a big difference to peoples overall health. First off - your diet and lifestyle, sleeping patterns and routine. Check they are all good, correct them if not then continue on. Behavioural therapy can be really good too. You can find that online, its not the same as having a therapist but its a start.

Mindfulness (not to be confused with meditation) is really helpful to me. I used to teach a meditative drawing technique called Zentangle. Your art experience is irrelevant. It's just a method to get you into a mindful state easier and faster. It help me which is why I began teaching it. There are studies on why mindfulness works.

When I am especially depressed I need to do tiny things. That's ok. A short walk outside daily will do wonders for example.

[jdg4]

I'm currently working through "The Chemistry of Joy" workbook by Dr. Henry Emmons. Only a few chapters in, but I'm finding it to be encouraging so far. I also picked up another workbook or two to try next. Therapists are limited in my area, so it seemed like a good place to start for me... perhaps it would help you too?

[Auntie2014]

Some of the things my T has taught me to do when I am really depressed is to make a list of 5 positive things I do each day. She had me bring the list in each week for our session. As the weeks went by she challenged me to do more difficult things and reach outside my comfort zone. When I knew that I was going to need to go for a period of time without Therapy (she took a 2 month vacation) we did kind of a lesson plan/journal thing that I could use while she was gone. I had a standing 2PM appointment with her on Mondays. So on Mondays at 2PM I wrote in the journal about what I had been doing over the last week. She had me write for 45 minutes about what I did than read over it and highlight things that I thought might be something she would comment on if she read it. Then for the last 15 minutes of the hour I was to write what I thought I she would say. (as she put it "in her voice") It was very insightful for both of us. I did share it when she returned and had a couple good laughs over things like a term she used often " I AMgetting in your business!"

Another thing she had me do was journal with my non dominant hand when I was working on some anger issues. She said that using my right hand (I am a lefty) would keep me focused on the issue because I would need to concentrate more while I was writing. Another time she had me type out my anger on an old manual typewriter.

Getting out in the sunshine or sitting in a sunny spot in the house can help also.

You can also go to the library and read self help books on the subject to get ideas. And you can also come here.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Eviespring12

I'm looking for self help tips for my depression and hypochondria. My parents, subjected under cultural stigma urges me not to seek counseling. My classmate says they don't help much anyways. I feel so black and lonely. Its almost new years and I so desperately want to feel better at least a little this year. Any tips? I'm taking omega-3 vitamins and I can't ask any friends for help since I have none. Anyone help me please?

Hi, any type of CBT or DBT has proven effective for depression. If you have chemical depression, then meds are necessary. When you have hypochondria, some mental health professional consider that part of OCD, which psychotherapy and psychotropic medications are needed. Best of luck and hope that helps a bit. You might try St. John's Wort for dysthymia...it's an OTC supplement.

[SugarWaterPurple]

Exercise, pets, long baths or showers, talking to people (even online) all help me.
But what do I know I'm feeling pretty crappy lately...

[Swan61]

Being lefty and after having a stroke that affected my left hand, i have been journaling and have trouble writing....i now print and take my time, which is frustrating, otherwise i can't even read it. After reading your suggestions, i will slow down and think more about what i am writing and hope this also helps me....great idea, thanks! Auntie2014