[winterglen]

I'm supposed to be looking for a job. I got one job application that I never finished because I got stuck with the references.

I should be trying harder. I should be looking at other places. I should be willing to fill in all of the job applications and network and be g****mn proactive. I just don't want to do any of these things. It's all too hard and exhausting, and I always feel like I'm bothering people by asking for a job that I don't think I'm good enough for.

I know it's a terrible attitude to have, and I know I will pay for my laziness and selfishness in the future. But I can't make myself even want to be more engaged with real life. All I want to do is read and stay in my silly fantasy world where I am a better, more capable person.

No real advice but I too would like to live in my own dream world.

I would suggest small increments though? Maybe fill out 3 sections of an application and take a little break. You most definitely are trying really hard so please be gentler with yourself

Best of luck and let us know how things progress!
Oh and PS I haven't finished my job application either. =sigh=

[Little Lulu]

I generally know what I need to be doing but sometimes I need support and accountability getting there. That is where a counselor, reliable friend or mentor can help. Maybe that is what you need right now as look into getting a job ... someone to help you with the process and gently hold you accountable.

[Frankbtl]

Hi winterglen, first of all let's get away from this "laziness and selfishness"!!
When we're talking about it being too hard and exhausting "laziness and selfishness" play no part in that at all!!
Now, looking for a job CAN seem like a massive task, but you DID make a start. You started on the application form, that's great!! It's a real start!!
Now maybe it would help if you stopped focusing so much on what you're "supposed to be doing" e.g networking there, there and there, and focus a little more on what you can/feel able to do???
So perhaps some real small goals for now e.g. getting an application form and working on completing it every week (??) then build a little on them???
And "asking for jobs" you don't think you're "good enough for": there will be a job you're more than good enough for (although you don't know without trying) but I'm wondering if you might be "selling yourself short", maybe overlooking your qualities, strengths, talents a little there?
And if a job looks just a little beyond you, maybe consider how could be once you've had a bit of an induction, practice, a settling in period, and develop your skills whilst doing it- everyone has to start somewhere.
But are there any agencies/government support who could help you in searching for/finding a job?? If there are that may help.
But you know, it can sometimes be real tough going through all the processes of finding a job, so I'd say don't loose the priority of focusing on yourself and feeling better about YOU.
To a point a job is kind of secondary, so if there's anything you can think of to use/find to make your life/feelings better (other than a job) right now, then that should be just as much up there on your list.
Best wishes
Alison

[Fuzzybear]

[outlaw sammy]

In my home state, we have the Mental Health Center of Denver, and they offer a branch ("2-Succeed") that assists those with mental and emotional disorders to find and hold decent jobs. I have a great vocational counselor. In your state, certainly there's a similar organization and/or perhaps the state Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. Check it out! It could make a huge difference in your job hunt.

[hamster-bamster]

You are not bothering anybody by applying. It is the job of the recruiter and, more importantly, the hiring manager to figure out if your qualifications match the job requirements.
I

[hamster-bamster]

Also, trying harder is not what you should be doing anyway. Trying harder will only be exhausting and frustrating for you, and from there you will go into a downward spiral - exactly the opposite of your desired outcome.

instead, you need to be analytical. You have identified a bottleneck - the references. Stop here, put the application you have been working on on hold, and create a file (a spreadsheet), or send an email to yourself, titled "references". Slowly fill it out - list your former managers, coworkers, and personal friends. Find and record all possible data that might be requested - the references' email addresses, phone numbers, current titles, titles at the time you worked together, length of the relationship, and whether they supervised you. Throw in LinkedIn profiles if you can find them. Make your file an exhaustive super-set, meaning that it should contain all the info that might possibly be needed, and then some. This way when you fill out future applications (and the one you put on hold), you will just breeze through the references section without stumbling upon it ever.

if that sounds daunting, that is ok. Start your spreadsheet and prepare the column headings - phone #, email address, etc. Call it a day and be happy that you have made progress. Tomorrow, enter the names of each reference as a row. Likewise, be satisfied that you have made a dent. The day after tomorrow, fill out a few columns (the phone number for each reference) or rows (take just one or two references and fill out each cell for them). By the end of the week, your file will be done. Then you will proceed to next steps (actually applying).