Managing Stress

I am trying to do a better job of managing stress in my life .. or more like stopping stress from managing me. I can tell when stress is getting out of hand when I start getting stomach aches, headaches, and start waking up around 3:30 am every morning. I'm trying to get back in the habit of going to the gym two or three times a week - somehow I got away from doing that, not sure how I just let other activities get in the way.

I've read that being physically active can help regulate stress - so hopefully getting to the gym will help.

My job is stressful - mgmt is always wanting people to stay later and/or come in on weekends. I don't want to do that and so I've been trying to get the increased requests for work done within the normally scheduled hours. And it really isn't possible - I know that logically. But I'm having a tough time just letting that go. I will not be looked upon favorably for not getting the increased work done and I don't look like a dedicated employee by not coming in after hours. I have a family and want to keep boundaries between caring for my family and my obligations to my employer.

I'm ok with give and take - I need to leave work and pickup a sick child sometimes .. so I understand that sometimes staying later is what is needed. But it can't be part of the routine work schedule .. I want to be a positive productive member of my company, but not at the expense of my family.

I am trying to be "ok" with the snotty comments thrown my way from time to time by mgmt because I don't come in on weekends. But it is really bothering me. I'm trying to pretend it doesn't and I'm trying not to let mgmt know that it bugs me .. but I don't think I'm doing a good job fooling anyone. Everyone knows it bugs me and so .. the snotty comments.

I enjoy the work I do and kind of hate to leave because mgmt has changed .. but I don't need this stress.

I wish that I could just let the comments roll off my back like water off of a duck.. I want to stop my reactions from making me sick. That is what I'm working on.

(((((((( Peanuts ))))))))))

I so understand this. My minds works so fast that it's hard for me to rest it. It keeps me in "overdrive" in real life and things just like you mentioned can be huge issues for me as well.

Some things that help me are:

After writing down the things that are bothering me (so my mind will know they're being attended to as possible, I take a long hot bath and let it "roll away" as I repeat, "I have it to attend to so it doesn't need to stay here rolling around and upsetting me. It's not forgotten." That helps me to get that kind of stuff out of my head until I NEED to address it (which is sometimes never).

Also, I try to find activities that occupy me mind, body and spirit...crafts and writing. They calm me and put me in a good place, and also I feel productive.

Later, when I'm doing better, I will pull out the paper of listed things and see if any of them need addressing and apply them as I need to. Alot of the time comments have a totally different meaning for me in that they just aren't as big as they felt prior.

I so understand and wish you well.

KD

Posters:

I hope this has been a helpful if stressful period of a few days. It seemed to me that both sides expressed themselves well, i.e. the people bothered by administrative decisions and the people making the decisions. And it seemed done in a respectful manner. We will see what happens.

I'm still here but just waiting to see where we go as we come out of the difficult discussion. Perna shared her interest in quotations. I love wise saying and have saved several hundred of the best over the years. Maybe DocJohn would help me make them available to those of you who are interested (isn't there a way of making files available?)

I see that Kimmydawn and Peanuts have started a thread about managing stress at work. They mention several ways to ease the tension--relaxation, crafts and writing, & regular exercise. Then there is writing your history, meditation, desensitization of fear, venting feelings, fantacies, etc. Perna's reference to Assertive Responses may be relevant here. Each method takes time; you can't just do them one day for 15 minutes. Like losing weight, calming down is a life style change. Perhaps if there are a few of us that want to try some method to relax, we could support and help each other. For example, 6 months ago I promised to cut out sweets almost entirely. I did fine for a while but now I am starting to backslide a little and could use support.

I don't care what the thread’s title is or who starts it. I'm ready to get to work.

drclay

Me too, Dr. Clay!

I need to work on stress AND few pounds...not something that goes together well, yes?

Since I lost the 87 lbs, weight gain can actually be stressful for me, so I guess I should work on that primarily which working on stress as I can. However, it's really a continuous circle...stress can cause weight gain for me (comfort eater) which causes weight gain, which increases stress, and the snowball is building.

After loosing the weight (or at least maintaining), I can focus more fully on the stress. I think that's going to be my plan for this month...weight first, stress secondary while working on both at the same time.

Hey wait, I could do relaxtion work while telling self I will not "munch" during those times, huh? I'd be working on both, but still work on weight when not focusing on relaxation.

I should try that first then.

Good luck to you as well!

KD

Dr. Clay, are you trying to cut down on refined sugar? and the fats that commonly are in the "best sweets"?

KD, you might focus on the stress first, rather than diet. The cortisol that stress produces causes quite a lot of weight gain!

I get stressed when I try to rush through work so that I don't have to stay late.. rushing often causes mistakes and I hate that. It seems to me that the harder I try to get more work done, the more my boss piles on - I don't know for sure or not, but it sure seems like he does it on purpose to try and force me to stay late or to fall short of the quotas. So I often work through lunch. Lunch is really the only time that I can get to the gym.

By the end of the day I have a stomach ache and sometimes a head ache. And because I skip lunch .. I often am tempted to hit the vending machine or partake in goodies that someone else has brought in.. not good.

It seems to me that I have to be OK with taking my lunch break at the gym and then grabbing lunch and just do the best I can with the tasks assigned. If I get them done, I get them done. If not, they will save until the next day. But the few times that I did go to the gym during lunch .. I was anxious and upset that I didn't get everything I wanted done, and I had to leave to pick up kids from school and could not stay late.

It seems stressful either way, so I might as well do the one thing that is helpful for me and go workout. Logically, I know this - but it is not easy.

peanuts, in the long run.......taking care of yourself is best........love, pat

I find that working out relieves a TON of stress, also if you have a furry friend they're a GREAT source of comfort and scientifically proven to lower your blood pressure while petting them. My problem is eating when I'm stressed! Good luck and *HUGS*

I also eat/snack when I'm stressed. I've been able to get to the gym at lunch every other day so far. I find that I'm not as hungry after working out and don't eat as much. And it seems the rest of the work day runs a bit smoother. At this point, anything I can do to reduce stress .. even if the reduction is just a bit .. is helpful.