[W.u.n.j.o]

Hello.

Before some time I bought book "The Power of Habit". Really interesting one. It was about how habits form our lifes.

They found that there is something what they called "keystone habit". In other words, if you have one activity as habit already, is influencing all your other activities as well.

For example people who start exercise start as well have better selfdiscipline in other areas of life - they start eat better and (along research) even spend less money!

What bring me to reason why am I here - I am an addict

I found that for me this is very true. But "ou yee" small problem here. I am an addict (weed).

I ofter relaps and loose all my selfdiscipline in few days. And that is what happened few weeks ago. I relapsed again.

In that time I had my life under pretty good control and I just found myself on "positive spiral", but this relaps didnt help too much. So I decided to cut grass of and live again MY life.

Today its my 4th day of soberty, but I decided that I want more

And not just more abstinence. I decided that I will dedicate my next 10 weeks to forming habits, which will help me increase my self-esteem, confidence and self-control.

And since what motivates me the most is work, I decided that habits which I am going to focus on most will be habits to get under control my work life.

Since I am business owner, nobody watches me and I have to be able run it independently from supervision and be able to control myself.

This is how I want to do it:

I set goal today. I set it along "SMART" way of goalsetting and I commited myself. This is my goal (and yes, I know its going to be hard).

My CONTRACT for Main Career Goal: SUCCESS (1.9.2015)

1.9.2015 I have 90% - 120% success rate in following my working schedule in time period
15. june until 1. september

Since HABITS are the most influencial power in my everyday life I am determined to lead all my
sources to creating these habits in my life, which will bring me everything else that I want and
need. And since career is one of my most important thing in my life (with health and
relationships) and definitely one of the most impactful for my future and happiness – I am
determined to focus on it all my energy now!

I know I am successful in creating my “working schedule habits” when I have 90% - 120%
success rate in doing these three things from Monday to Friday EVERY WEEK right in the
morning after my ritual all the way from 15th june to 1st september (2,5 month):

• 2 x 60:60 Session of CREATION (product, marketing, articles)
• 1 x 60:60 Session of STUDYING (psychology, self help, marketing, persuasion...)

90% success rate means that I abandoned at most one and half session in one week period;
120% success rate means that I added extra three 60:60 (or six 60-minute) sessions into one
week.

By session I mean focused time limited by timer and invested in some activity.

Achieving this goal will help me:

a) Strenghten my work ethic and make from this schedule strong habit
b) Achieve my plans and dreams in my business and financial life
c) Gain more control over my life, more self-discipline and self-esteem
d) Help tens thousnds of people who read my articles, follow me and trust me

To really achieve this goal (which inevitably brings me all above mentioned benefits and even
more) I need to set right rewards for myself. There are two kinds of rewards I will give myself for
following schedule.

1. External motivation (material) rewards system:

I commit to give myself 7€ for every 60:60 session. That means 20€
after successful day (three 60:60 sessions). If I will follow my schedule at 1st september I will
have in my moneybox about 1,000€.

These money I will use when I achieve my goal (1st september) and I will use them for buying
awesome new computer. This computer will be my final reward. In addition to this reward I will
also have:

▪ 1st successful day reward: Awesome hot bath with music or movie there
▪ 2nd successful day reward: Just watch some movie / serial with popcorn (ONE!)
▪ 3rd successful day reward: Take long walk or body relaxation and meditation
▪ First successful week reward: Going to *onemyfriend* and enjoy saturday there
▪ Every next successful week reward: Saturday with Girlfriend/Dad; calling grandpas,
mom.. Enjoying work free day with some fun activity
▪ First successful month reward: Shrooms trip from Friday evening (or Saturday)
▪ Second successful month reward: Buying (from those money) new jacket and shoes
▪ Third successful month reward: My awesome new notebook + 2 workfree weeks

“Every week reward” is also filled with enjoying fun activities for which I am allowed to take
30€ from my moneybox and invest them in experiencing new things and enjoying my day
fully (and sober).

2. Internal motivation (non-material) reward system:

For lasting effects of my achieved goal of forming success working schedule habit I need to do it
mainly because of internal motivation. Here is list of internal reward which achieving brings me.

• Better self-discipline and self-control
• More willpower in other areas of my life (health, relationships..)
• Bigger confidence and self-esteem
• Being more outgoing and sure about myself in social situations
• More satisfying rewards and enjoyment time with my close ones
• More mindfull life
• Significantly improving my skills and raising my potential, value and earning ability
• Being better writer, copywriter, marketer, product creator, expert in psychology
• Satisfaction from working on myself and achieving my goals
• Being able to serve people and change world – step by step
• Creating my life-long productive and constructive habits which will follow me rest of life
• Creating stuff which will HELP improve life for tens thousands of people
• Becoming more creative person
• Being more knowledgable in my field
• Becoming able to formulate my thoghts better
• Becoming more interesting person and being more admirable and recognized
• Creating working social-skill systems for others and myself as well
• Collect all my knowledge and skills in consumer-friendly environment
• Doing what is fun for me, what is bringing me flow and joy and what is my purpouse
• Loving my work and settle in doing it effortless
• Lowering my stress and anxiety from future because I will create it
• Being more honorable person in eyes of my social circle
• Being able to take care of my family pretty soon
• Being able to live life which I want to live and fullfill MY dreams

I will keep motivating myself by reading this list everyday before I start my first session and as
well by thinking about these during my workday. For easier achieving of this my ultimate goal
(till 1. september) I need as well support of other habits (and people) as well.

These are habits which will help me achieve my goal easier:

✔ Abstinence from weed, coffee, wine, strong alcohol and more than one regular beer
✔ Regular sleeping schedule (wake up every day at 7:59, go sleep at 23:59, one 30m nap)
✔ Everyday morning sport, meditation, priming, visualisation, cold shower and reading bios
✔ Sunday sharpening ritual, goalsetting and adjustment in plans
✔ Healthy eating schedule and writing eating journal as part of...
✔ Writing regular success journal every evening (part of evening ritual)

Now this written goal is becoming my obsession and my commitment until I achieve it. By
writing, reading this to the end and giving my signature below I am confirming, that I will have
this my goal in my head everyday and I will think about it positively and faithfully.

If I will screw up I will try again, and again, and again, until I achieve my goal and create my
success working habits. I know, that by reading this, adjusting it and setting smaller semi-goals
every sunday, by journaling and holding all the other habits together everyday I am making
success in my life and career inevitable.

And thats why I will achieve it. This is contract. This is commitment. This is my life!

DATE of CONFIRMATION: 14.6.2015

MY SIGNATURE: Wunjo

I know it looks like impossible and like I am putting on myself too much pressure, but its okey.

Habits like sleeping schedule, good eating, meditation, sport and others are already in my life pretty good grounded. Now I just need to focus on abstinence and working.

But its not just about goal setting, because I found this next crazy useful book

And its book which is here for free psychologicalselfhelp.org and guys who wrote this have my respect for lifetime.

Until now I read just one chapter. Eleventh. But tomorrow I start to read it all and I am SURE that this book will help me achieve my goals.

As well with this journal and YOUR support.

So this should be my introduction. I hope I will post here something inspiring for you and I as well hope that you write me back so I know that somebody is reading it (and social pressure to keep up with my commitment will be bigger).

Now I am looking forward, and I will write soon to let you know how its going.

See you later,
Wunjo

P.S.: I know my english is not the best (I am from Europe) but I believe it will not stop you from finding something useful for you in my posts.

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC) wunjo. Sounds like you are serious about getting your life in order. There may be groups that will support you in your efforts.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

Glad you are joining us here. There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.
http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[W.u.n.j.o]

Thank you for welcoming CANDC! Can I ask for some examples of low carb food? .. this point with being active here is great point.

Second day sucessful, first as well... The worst will come, right?

My first and second day were great. I did everything I wanted. Now I just had some cookies for reward, but I was eating healthy all day long, working, exercising, so it were not bad guilty cookies )

I expect some hard time in next few days because I know that always when I am trying to change something, until I gain momentum I need to "force" myself.

But actually...

I found that external motivation and rewards work pretty well for me

On monday I was fighting with waking up in the morning and then I realized that if I will work, I can "earn" money!

Since I am not employed but I am business owner, regular "paycheck" is not usual for me, so this was very motivating. I have my moneybox in front of me and its getting bigger!! In front of my eyes. Good feeling.

Still, I know its not going to be easy, so I continue in reading Psychological Self Help book from Dr. Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd and even this reading alone make me more motivated.

I am curious about next day. I am pretty confident in getting first week done! And if it will happen, next week will be even better.

I will be writing about my progress here and...

I decided to write every evening during my workweek, so I will keep in touch with my progress.

I as well decided that whatever happen, even if I break my working schedule for example, I will always keep three most important habits for me:

• Abstinence
• Sleeping schedule
• Exercise

If I will do and keep this, what should not be so hard if I will not beat myself down for some mistakes in other habits, eventually everything will go in right direction.

For today everything, in my moneybox already 40€ (or 42€, its actually another currency in my country ) and - see you tomorrow.

Thank you for reading!

Wunjo

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central Wunjo!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.

Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator by left clicking on their name in blue to the left of their post if you need help navigating the forums. It will take some time for your first five posts to appear as they are being evaluated and then you will be able to join chats.

I'm sorry for your struggles. You'll find we have a safe and supportive community. I'm glad you've joined us.

I look forward to seeing you around!!!

[W.u.n.j.o]

Thanks Ruftin.

Just short report from today...

Very good one, I fulfiled everything I needed to and I even had time for some fun.

I am just thinking sometimes that is interesting how often we think about something and its totally different in reality.

For example I had feeling that I have tons of work to do, and than I realized its just few focused hours from outcome that I want. Similar I was thinking how bad I dont want to go and prepare my food for tomorrow and than I just started and it... flowed.

[nushi]

Hey Wunjo

I'm very glad to have read your post, it's so motivating for me, especially that I'm also in a similar situation with you

I'm also having a goal set for myself (from 23/12/2014 :23/12/2015 - & that's my birthday BTW ), to finish my Master's thesis (which I've been stuck in since 2008 ), before I turn 30 years of age next December, & start rewiring my life-goals to spend the next remaining years of my life doing my truly wanted goals, since I've wasted 30 years of my life doing family- & social-regulated goals for me

My English is also a second-language ('cause I'm from Egypt), & I also have problems along the way of finishing this goal, but not addiction to weed & alcohol, instead it's addiction to obsessions & suffering from OCD, depression, perfection (which have largely made me stuck in not finishing Master's for so long)

Here's my goal description:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/self-...sters-1-a.html

I'm still working on my goal, but I have to admit, that time is running & I'm very late in finishing along with time, that I feel extremely anxious & panic that I wouldn't finish my goal

I find a lot of your writing helpful...

Some of the things you do I don't do, but I do others, like reading political progressive, mind science, & psychological-help sites (like PC here) every morning for an hour, while I'm breakfasting (which made me stumble on your beautiful motivational post this morning halfway along doing my goal )

I also reward myself every day with little things (though not on a regular basis like you, which your post has made think I have to work on), like watching a movie while eating dinner, or reading a novel (a chapter or 2 every coupla days)...

I also started a list of helpful guides & hints for finishing my goal (though I didn't continue it for over a month now), but your post reminded me, so I'll add your points to my list to improve my progress like you

I especially like your inner reward points that you read for yourself everyday, especially this one:

"• Lowering my stress and anxiety from future because I will create it"

Perhaps overcoming my problems along my progress have some similarities & some differences with you... But one thing I definitely would tell you, is that many many many days will come that you will fall out of your schedule & feel very frustrated to the point of wanting to just give it up; BUT NEVER GIVE UP, don't get frustrated when you fall off, it's natural, accept falling off every while, & then after it get up & walk on continuing your schedule...

BTW, if you wanna keep on tracking our goals together, I'll be very glad, so we motivate each other to finish them, & you can private message me

PS: You can also make a motivational time/goal tracker like the one in my signature

[W.u.n.j.o]

Thank you for message Nushi - I am glad I motivated you. You motivated me too! Mostly because today I almost fall down. I didnt because of you as well, thanks.

I have my whole first week after me and my success rate is 110%!

I was afraid I will not make it but actually I did. I found out that my money-rewarding-system is REALLY motivating for me.

Probably the most in comparision to anything I was using until now.

As well I am recording my progress and this week I worked 110% of time that I set for myself. I am pretty happy for this. It was awesome. Despite this success...

I had strong weed-cravings today

I fighted them. I am thankful for it. Sport is helping me, work is helping me and tomorrow starts new week! Which will be awesome.

I am still reading PsychologicalSelfHelp book and I decided to REALLY focus just on 3 things. Even if my goal is oriented on working schedule, this is what I am going to focus on most:

• Abstinence and soberty
• Sleeping schedule (I need sleep without it I will catch up with weed)
• Exercise (this is keeping me good sleep)

My "keystone" habit is abstinence. But sleeping and exercice are my most supporting habits for soberty. So this is my biggest focus.

Today I have mastermind call with my friends for support

I created small group of three people which should work like "Master Mind" group. Last sunday we had call, today we will have another one. It will be dedicated to goals.

I am looking forward.

And I am looking forward for next work week as well. I just launched my next product in my business and in few days it gave me money which will cover my expenses for whole next month.

In other words, I am wihout pressure on myself.

And that is great state of mind.

THANK YOU GUYS. And see you later,
Wunjo

P.S.: I found this .. I love it - keep yourself motivated! Watch it:

[W.u.n.j.o]

Monday report - perfect start of week (except these cravings)

Its interesting that first days of my abstinence from weed were actually easier than these days, when I have those "excuses" that "I already done it, I have it under control, and maybe I can have just 1g for little bit fun".

F***ck it!

I stay focused on my goals and keeping thinking about consequencies of my behaviour. Today I pushed my habit to eat cookies at the evening with buying apple instead of cookies.

I found out it gave me same "reward".. Little bit of sugar and going for walk to grocery shop. I will try to keep it this way (apples instead of cookies) - but I am still focusing mostly on my 3 main habits.

As well I worked today really nice, I done everything I wanted and I am happy for that. As well happy that I can share it with you! I used my rewards and money in my "moneybox" are gathering.

Pretty soon I am rich, right?

See you later and thank you for reading
Wunjo

[W.u.n.j.o]

Next successful week and next successful start for next week!

Its interesting because I still have big cravings for smoking weed, but I am holding my habits anyway. Today helped me really a lot to narrow my values. Just think about them gave me a lot. I never did that.

I hope I will make more progress with them in next few days.

I will write again