Help with hoarding

unaluna · Nov 14, 2021 at 12:41 AM

@SprinkL3 Thanks for the resources! One of them actually listed a chaotic home as a cause, which is how ive often felt. That the chaos here echoes the chaos there.

SprinkL3 · Nov 14, 2021 at 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

@SprinkL3 Thanks for the resources! One of them actually listed a chaotic home as a cause, which is how ive often felt. That the chaos here echoes the chaos there.

That would actually make sense.

I didn't read much into that because I vacillate between wanting to collect things and then wanting to donate a bunch of things. I grew up in a very chaotic home, too. I do struggle with OCD-like tendencies (mostly fear of contamination), but I'm not diagnosed with that. I'm just weird, but I sometimes like that I'm weird, LOL.

It must be hard to struggle with that now, but I can understand the familiarity and finding comfort with something that reminds us of the past - even if it wasn't something we wanted. Change is hard for me, too.

((((safe thoughts and hugs))))

SprinkL3 · Nov 14, 2021 at 12:50 AM

@unaluna I'm also sorry that you struggled with a chaotic home growing up. That must have been hard.

Buffy01 · Nov 15, 2021 at 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SprinkL3

There's a book about the magic of tidying by Marie Kondo. In her books, she discusses the KonMari method (based on Japanese culture). She states that it's okay to thank your gifts and other things you plan to donate or put to rest, and then to release them. That way, you honor them as gifts, but you do not need to feel guilty about giving them away or releasing them to the abyss (when you throw them in the trash). So that's one method.

If you feel like your life is empty without all that stuff, you could perhaps speak with a therapist that specializes in anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder to help. You may not have OCD, but you could have anxiety, based on what you described. They could help with finding you an organizer, who can help you through the process of giving things away. That's another method or idea.

Here are some mental health resources for hoarding disorder:

Mayo Clinic

American Psychological Association (APA)

American Psychiatric Association

International OCD Foundation

The Center for Treatment of Anxiety and Mood Disorders

Cleveland Clinic

Very Well Mind

Very Well Health

Social Work Today

Medical News Today

Thank you for the links.

hvert · Nov 17, 2021 at 09:06 AM

Clearing out all the clutter in a room really does make me feel better. Even if I am just putting it in another room, lol. There's something nice about empty surfaces.

unaluna · Nov 17, 2021 at 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hvert

Clearing out all the clutter in a room really does make me feel better. Even if I am just putting it in another room, lol. There's something nice about empty surfaces.

Yeah, my entry hall, over the past work period, is sometimes almost completely open, and im like, i cant believe i have this much space! It is hard to get used to.

RoxanneToto · Nov 17, 2021 at 02:25 PM

I feel like my stuff could take the rest of my days to sort through, too, unaluna! I think the fact I’m moving in the near future is really helping with my motivation, though. No way could I take everything with me, so it’s either getting packed, sold on eBay or donated. I do have a problem with collecting nicknacks and stuff so will still need to watch myself once I have moved lol.

hvert · Nov 28, 2021 at 08:04 AM

I need to find better homes for some of my things. For the past month or two, it feels like I am constantly moving stuff in order to do something. I set up a workspace on my dining room table, so when we want to eat, I have to move that stuff somewhere, usually to my couch. If I want to sit after dinner, I have to move that stuff off the couch. I wanted to use a step stool yesterday but had to move something off the top. It's just annoying. I need to get rid of things and reorganize what I have.

Buffy01 · Nov 29, 2021 at 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SprinkL3

That would actually make sense.

I didn't read much into that because I vacillate between wanting to collect things and then wanting to donate a bunch of things. I grew up in a very chaotic home, too. I do struggle with OCD-like tendencies (mostly fear of contamination), but I'm not diagnosed with that. I'm just weird, but I sometimes like that I'm weird, LOL.

It must be hard to struggle with that now, but I can understand the familiarity and finding comfort with something that reminds us of the past - even if it wasn't something we wanted. Change is hard for me, too.

((((safe thoughts and hugs)))) :hug:

I understand how you feel. Sound like how I grew up. I have some family members who have ocd.

SprinkL3 · Nov 30, 2021 at 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I understand how you feel. Sound like how I grew up. I have some family members who have ocd.

@Buffy01 - Thank you for understanding, but I'm sorry you struggled with similar things growing up.

unaluna · Nov 30, 2021 at 01:38 PM

The size of the piles is decreasing. I do feel a little panic. Its been helping to take one bag from a pile and get rid of it.

Buffy01 · Nov 30, 2021 at 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SprinkL3

@Buffy01 - Thank you for understanding, but I'm sorry you struggled with similar things growing up. :hug:

Your very welcome. I’m trying to heal myself from everything that has happened growing up.

SprinkL3 · Dec 04, 2021 at 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffy01

Your very welcome. I’m trying to heal myself from everything that has happened growing up.

@Buffy01 - I hope you find great healing through this process.

Buffy01 · Dec 04, 2021 at 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SprinkL3

:sadhug: @Buffy01 - I hope you find great healing through this process.

I hope so

unaluna · Dec 04, 2021 at 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

The size of the piles is decreasing. I do feel a little panic. Its been helping to take one bag from a pile and get rid of it.

Im actually decreasing some of the piles enough that i am getting to the floor! And finding lost implements.

Its funny, i see peoples houses on tv/youtube and im like, they have ROOMS. With WALLS. My pkace feels like a library, but then, that was my happy place when i was a kid.

hvert · Dec 05, 2021 at 06:35 AM

Woohoo! You are making awesome progress! I love the 'messy' houses on tv shows that are still tidier than mine, lol.

Buffy01 · Dec 12, 2021 at 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hvert

Clearing out all the clutter in a room really does make me feel better. Even if I am just putting it in another room, lol. There's something nice about empty surfaces.

That is so true. When i clean? I find things that I hadn’t seen in awhile.

unaluna · Dec 21, 2021 at 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hvert

Woohoo! You are making awesome progress! I love the 'messy' houses on tv shows that are still tidier than mine, lol.

I AM making progress, and it doesnt feel too scary to say that.

I have been having a lot of good happy dreams lately. I dreamt my best friend threw me a birthday party (not something i usually go for, but it was pretty cool, there were a stackload of comedians there!). Ive been having work dreams, but not nightmares - i am participating and being listened to, unlike how it was IRL and in dreams since. I wake up feeling accomplished.

Matt and Dr whoever would still die if they saw my house, but it is starting to feel possible.

RoxanneToto · Dec 21, 2021 at 03:55 AM

You have a before and after picture, so to speak, so you can see the progress whereas other people would only be able to see how your house looks in the present. You’re making great progress, by the sound of it. If you’re happy with that, and can keep going at your pace, that’s enough.

Buffy01 · Dec 22, 2021 at 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Yeah, my entry hall, over the past work period, is sometimes almost completely open, and im like, i cant believe i have this much space! It is hard to get used to.

I hear you.

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,936 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Nov 14, 2021 at 12:41 AM #181 @SprinkL3 Thanks for the resources! One of them actually listed a chaotic home as a cause, which is how ive often felt. That the chaos here echoes the chaos there.
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SprinkL3 Account Suspended Member Since Oct 2021 Location: DELETED Posts: 2,752 (SuperPoster!) 3 10.9k hugs given	Nov 14, 2021 at 12:50 AM #183 @unaluna I'm also sorry that you struggled with a chaotic home growing up. That must have been hard.
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hvert Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: US Posts: 4,889 10 3,790 hugs given	Nov 17, 2021 at 09:06 AM #185 Clearing out all the clutter in a room really does make me feel better. Even if I am just putting it in another room, lol. There's something nice about empty surfaces.
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,936 (SuperPoster!) 13 68.8k hugs given	Nov 30, 2021 at 01:38 PM #191 The size of the piles is decreasing. I do feel a little panic. Its been helping to take one bag from a pile and get rid of it.
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hvert Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: US Posts: 4,889 10 3,790 hugs given	Dec 05, 2021 at 06:35 AM #196 Woohoo! You are making awesome progress! I love the 'messy' houses on tv shows that are still tidier than mine, lol.
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RoxanneToto Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2020 Location: England Posts: 1,692 4 6,991 hugs given	Dec 21, 2021 at 03:55 AM #199 You have a before and after picture, so to speak, so you can see the progress whereas other people would only be able to see how your house looks in the present. You’re making great progress, by the sound of it. If you’re happy with that, and can keep going at your pace, that’s enough.
	Reply With Quote