A few Measly Steps a Day

Hi, I have discovered a pretty fast notes saving idea. Since I'm checking email several times a day, when I have an idea flash across my head I open a message and dump it all in. This is saved automatically as a draft and close at hand when I get back to it.

I use yahoo, and the process of clicking away to the notes, naming the note, typing it, etc. nearly lost my idea several times. Too much pain.

I also cleared a drain today as "punishment" for missing an appointment. I somehow pictured it as 1 pm in my mind/daily notes, when it was actually 10:45 am. Yikes. Picking your punishment is a technique Milton Erickson developed within his family for times when you're berating yourself for a mistake or miss.

I'm doing OK today. Very busy with work stuff: lots of detailed thinking to finish one project and detailed thinking to contract for another. Local illegal fireworks blasting all about. A friend lives in a town which either never got around to making it illegal or allows it. Anyway, he's pinned down every 4th at his house ready to hose it down should a spark ignite something.

About 10 weeks ago I swept all out of the way to deal with this client. As I near the finish I'm preparing for the post-partum let down. Yes, it's hard, but it's challenging and draws from me my talents. Intensity is never quite perfect, either too slack or too bunched. Oh, well, so it goes.

r

A day & plans are soon parted. Running a few errands this morning snagged 4 hours, AND we've had intercom issues which I as board prez must step up to resolve. I also got up at 6:30 because my partner was, where I ordinarily sleep till about 8.

This messed with my plans to send the crucible draft to my client's staff today. I'm too tired now to do a credible job. So resting, twiddling with voice to text web sites, and reading.

I'll reset for sending this tomorrow morning by 11:00 am in a mostly good version which I'll keep improving through the weekend.

And stay away from the phone and email while I do.

PS—Interesting problems with Chrome mishandling Google's own products like google drive and google phone. Having better success with Firefox, though how each browser renders fonts cause minor hiccups.

r

Close to re-sending a collectively created draft for my client's work. I'm also constantly sleepy, and I suspect it's because there's so much psychic and other meta-physical blockages and weights I'm navigating through. In about 40 hr I'll be freer ... I think. They are making hints they may want to continue to hire me.

Yai! i'll do a ritual tonight to release the binding on ME. It's theirs to work thru, I'm only the guide.

R.

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. Big apology for that.

I continue to be impressed by the things you accomplish which would be so far out of my comfort zone that I can't imagine taking them on.

Meanwhile - Book club met last Saturday, and we had a great time - at least I did, and everyone else said that they did. The Friday before book club, I was putting out chairs and scraped my hand on the rocks. I slathered it with antibiotics and kept on bandaging and slathering. Today, I decided that I needed professional help and trudged down to Urgent Care. They didn't have the staff to see me, so I just went home, where it felt better, so I put off trying to see a doctor in case it heals itself. Hope springs eternal.
I don't like doctors. When I retired, I figured that I had to resolve this problem because I was likely to need western medical care, and I wasn't likely to get healthier the older I got. So I found a doctor with whom I felt comfortable. She went to work for the veterans, but I liked her replacement as well. All was good until my insurance and this doctor parted ways, and the insurance assigned me another doctor. He's probably very nice and very capable. I haven't seen him yet. Hence the trip to urgent care. I want to try to switch insurance and go back to the doctor I like, but I'm scared with my problems dealing with computers and such, that I'll either end up paying for two insurance companies, or I'll end up with no insurance. Hence my inertia.

Enough *****ing? I'll save my passport story for another time.

May the force be with you.

Getting much needed rest. Very slow moving last couple of days. Made a Coco Flan cake in a bundt pan tonight. Waiting for it to cool.

Seems exceptional maybe, but I'm doing what I trained to do. It's always hard because it's creating something. My medium for my art is other people. This is where it gets fun—I'm playing croquet with hedgehogs and swans.

For diversion, I read widely. Right now I have a 3 books of interviews. I love interview compilations. Each one is usually short so I can finish it in the limited window of time I have for it. There's a chance of an interesting question getting an interesting answer. I sort of meet new people like Alan Moore a cartoonist; and also get more chummy with people I "know" already like Kurt Vonnegut and Toni Morrison.

There's a book of prose stories/poems by Rachel Zucker. I listen to her Commonplace podcasts (more interviews) but have never read her stuff. Plus a stack of books I can return which helped me get through my project. Stuff on effective agreements, fair division, and product naming.

And I played bridge today and enjoyed a long bike ride home.

R.

I'm still crawling back to a better level of energy and emotions. Far less irritable and grumpy which is how I get when maxxed out on attention to high performance in a high stakes situation.

I'm continually tricking myself into getting stuff done. Right now, I've returned to autofocus which I call Jacquard because how I run it is based on the card system Monsieur J. devised for running patterns through looms. The cards were adapted for the earliest computers.

What I do is give all active domains a 000 address: friends are in the 100s, paid work to the 200s, and so on. Then with the ease of my spreadsheet I just list things and they occur and give them a number in the series. Contact James goes on as: 151 James, and 152 hold reach out to Mary: 152 Mary.

When I've done something I strike it through.

What I like is I can sort at any time to cluster similar items. I can also add in any order and tasks roll in or they occur to me.

I think the original concept and thus articles written about it are too complicated. Much similar to my feelings about the Dot Journal calendar method. And also the Second Brain stuff out there. What these over-wrought methods do is shift ones attention away from the work to the tool. It's as if every time I reached for pencil I had to rotate it so the label side faced away from me. Why? I may only want to put a time on my calendar?
R

Goals today pretty basic. Still not tracking 100%, lucky most of my swapped dates haven't happened yet.

1. Nap
2. Finish library book w/ no renewals
3. Lay out work and schedule on next project
4. Prep last invoice for previous client to send out Monday
5. Listen to 10 minute segment on the Radio show I like
6. Research random stuff
7. Follow up with friends
8. Catch up with Email
9. Various household chores
10. Rest

Hoping to get back to the many small tasks and close them out that I've skipped the past several weeks. Especially interested in my transcript of quotes from Patricia Highsmith's diaries I read into a new AI transcription app/site (Grains.io). My prior goto was Otter.io but it cuts off after 45 minutes. Grains free offer allows 50 recordings, no limits that I know of for length.

I also know Objects on the Todo list take longer than they appear.
R

I'm am just getting over freaking out. I went to a second urgent care place, where I think they stole my Identity. I don't bank online, and I blocked my credit card, and according to experiens, no one has been doing anything with my credit info.
I didn't read your posts yet. I'm going to relax with my cup of tea and see what you have been up to.

May the force be with us.

I think I'm okay re id fraud. I didn't give them the final link that they need. I didn't follow their link to see my test results. (They didn't do any tests.) I will do one other thing today and then not think about it because my mental health is important.

I read your posts and I'm happy that you get to do such interesting things and get paid for most of them.
Meanwhile, my writing and my gardening are not getting much attention. On the positive side, My arm looks like it's healing - (banging very hard on wood). So i lost my ID but I gained antibiotics.

I'm going to plant some succulents. Right now I don't have the energy to do the hard stuff. I'll get it done in the afternoon.

Oh, one cool thing. I've been meditating, and I think it's useful. So yesterday, my friend led a guided meditation, and it was great. And I did a second meditation guided by a you-tube video. I definitely like guided meditations better than just going solo.

Peace and good energy to both of us.

Uhho. i've dealt with that several times, which is several times too many.

You didn't say you reported it, but I hope you did/will so that some authority somewhere, or some crusading journalist, can see the patterns and stop at least one bad player. There was a bar & grill we used to frequent that finally was shut down when it became public that they were stealing credit card information. It was a few of the staff but the news was enough to close down the place. They had a great grill chicken with melted brie on a ciabatta roll. Miss it still.

Feeling more myself by the day. Have another 2 weeks of condo stuff then that too lessens. Oh so I hope.
R

Slogging through condo stuff, including emergencies. Goal to finish the major deals by end of week.

I think I overreacted as far as the id theft was concerned. I blocked my credit card, and I'm dealing with all the consequences of that. Anyway, I don't bank online, so I feel pretty safe. But I really freaked out for a while.
Condo emergency? that sounds awful. Good luck.

We get about 2 a month. Leaks, something doesn't work. Noise complaint. Someone accidentally locked out, a move-outer making a mess of the garbage and recycling. Most not harmful. Just time suckers.

Major stuff in play:

: Changing elevator contractors (just signed the contract and told the current company we're changing). This is really a Win for me. Wanted to change the contract away from the screw you industry standard to a gentler, kinder pick of pocket. Got most of what I thought we needed, 1 yr renewing contract, cap of 3% on fee increases, quarterly (not monthly) service visits in trade for a much lower fee.
: The master commercial insurance policy is signed and slated for payment.
: One of the owners is working on getting the carpets cleaned but giving me a hard time because the board is insisting a on company that is going to be more costly than the other bids. They do the best work. He wants to come off as wanting to save money, but doesn't do any work in general on reaching that goal. He can pretend all he wants, it's not his decision to make.

Happy you're dodging any super horrible conseq. from the ID theft. Still leaves a yucky feeling.

I've just about gotten over the yucky feeling. it took about three weeks, but my BP is back to normal.

All for normal circulation of the blood.

Bit derailed, in a goodish way, from a longtime friend dropping by once when landing in Seattle for a day before joining a wedding party, and now on the tail end before back to NYC.

Fun to explore some of the classic tourist sites she wanted to take in. But also pressures my time to get prepped right for a client call next week. Had the "you've filled up you welcome" chat and she's trying to make reservations.

Tonight, just looking at a couple of books lying about and chatting between my friend organizing her departure.

Revu2

Hi World,

Beginning a course of self-study/self-change that I'll track in my Twin Wins Thread.

This gives me something to scaffold my inner work on and also topics for convo when I catch up with friends.

Revu2

Inner shift right now. Not many "goals" so the daily measly steps serve to keep matters moving. Stuff like pay the bills, take the garbage out. Chop wood, carry water.

The risk here is there are endless streams of ideas and offers and I must keep that at bay. Plus, as it seems we're 5 times more attuned to the negative, as Mark Twain quipped, bad news can travel around the world before good news has his shoes on, I have to dull and turn off that Inner Debater that argues with the headlines, doubts the reporting, know about alternatives not mentioned, and so on. I catch it around 15 or 20 seconds now and I guess I have a goal of getting that down to zero. This would mean all that rattling chatter would just flow past me.

This Inner Debater is connected to my Controller Saboteur who can go and and on and on when up on the Soap Box. The Outer Debater, as it were. Right now I can run on nearly a minutes before my alarms set off. Want to draw that back, too, to say, a sentence. Or 2 words, "No comment." ###

HI, R.

I read with interest about your Inner debater and Controller Saboteur. I guess we all have some version of that, and mine have been working overtime. To overcome them and not feel like @#$%! all the time, I've been meditating, and I've been trying to change the voices in my brain from negative to positive. According to a friend of mine (psychologist) We can change the voices by recognizing them, and replacing them with positive suggestions. I think this is interesting. Many years ago, i did therapy and back then the big thing was to recognize and express your negative feelings. This probably a good thing, if you then let go of them, but I seemed to keep acknowledging them, and giving them way too much power. So now I'm trying hold more i dialogue in my head. It seems to be helping, although I still get caught up in negative thoughts way too often.

It somewhere between 100 degrees and 106 depending on which weather site you look at. I'm going to Sizzlers for lunch and take advantage of their AC.

Good wishes to you.

Hi Ms. D. I laughed when you have to go to *Sizzlers* to enjoy their AC. Let's just say you're getting out of 103° weather and split the difference.

I'm a great user of inner dialogs. I also like movie scenes, songs, and quotes. One of the great anti-controller scenes is when Redford steps out on the porch after Newman had been flirting with Katherine Ross while out riding a bike in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Redford asks "What are you doing?" and Newman answers, "Stealing your woman." Redford: "Take her, take her." Newman, "well you're a romantic bastard I'll give you that."

No control issues there.

I got a kick out of Butch and Sundance.

We had an anniversary party last Friday. We went out to a fancy dinner with cousins. I gave Tom some surprise presents, and played "Bottle of Wine" on my cell phone. It was his signature song when we got married. I thought it was funny. No one else got the humor.
I got a lot done at Sizzlers. If I really want to be a writer (I do) I'm thinking that I should go to all-you-can-eat restaurants a lot. The downside is - I'll end up weighing 300 pounds and counting. The sacrifices we make for our art!
I've been walking with my friend on Fridays. We got up to 3 miles, which is fantastic for me. The last time we went out she got sick from the heat, It was scary. We went started at ten in the morning. It only got eighty but she was having trouble. She has an old car which overheats, so to keep the car from stalling, she had to drive with the heater on. She calls it the saunamobile. Ipe she has a new car by now.
I wish I had some good stories to tell when people ask, "So what have you been doing?" (I don't.)

Hi World. so good you shared a private joke in public. My evening surprised me by opening up, then my computer sucked my attention by not searching right. Fixed that with a system upgrade. Which I hate because things switch on and off. It even told me an old program for virtual private networks should be trashed. So I did.

Write. Maybe you can strike a deal with the restaurant on a multi-day plan. Or a monthly meal as service plan. Or some days the "rent a table" plan. Or the I'll help promote for free-seating plan.

OK, enough planning. Steps tomorrow: basic still, continue to enjoy my slack time. I've given myself a week of condo slack, even, more or less, client-slack. It's great. ###

Every single day has it's own course to run. Some days it's easy, most days middling, and a few it's hard. Right now, 2 measly steps per day: something to do with bridge (usually reading a few study hands); something to do with trading (mostly research for now). Trading can take my time from 5:30 am (hour before open) to 1:30 pm (30 minute after close) every weekday.

Under pressure because I have paying clients, the trading shrinks to less time, no trades. This allows more sleep. But, I'm more or less grumpier because I'm having less fun.

On the theme of less fun, due to having to write up a proposal, I'm taking a nap after running a couple of errands and then working through the night. Missing an evening of personal stories I like to listen to Once A Month when I can. Aye, maybe watch a few Moths for compensation.

Gottago, R.

I think I lost my copy of my vaxcard today. Slipped or fell out of my back pocket. The sleeve had a few other minor things in it. Bit annoyed to make up another and worry that some sleezebag will use it instead of getting vaccinated. This was the afternoon after a pretty happy morning. More minor issues to come.

Also had a pretty bummy night of shopping then seeing our packaged chicken was too puffy so took it back to store but forgot receipt then bak home to get receipt and the marinated chickens which were the special were all gone, so had to settle for a raw chicken replacement. This was from a buy one get one free deal we hadn't known about. I started joking we had entered the Twilight Zone.

Like James Tate says: Sometimes even free is too expensive.

Revu2