Confrontation?

I've been impressed with past experiences in confronting my fears. I have a fear of heights, for example, but only when there's a ledge and nothing to hold on to. So (with a great deal of caution)I take advantage of opportunities to get close to the edge of a roof, or canyon, whatever might come up. It's absolutely terrifying, but for some time afterwards, I feel a sense of strength or empowerment.

I have another personal challenge coming up soon of a different nature, but wanted to know what any of you ahve done along these lines, to help tackle personal obstacles.

Hi,

I can't really pin point a specific thing that I have done. I do know that you will find quite a lot of guidance within Clay's book about this sort of thing. I would like to get a few links for you but don't really have the time right now. If you take a look around the book I'm sure that you will find some relevant material.

Well done for your efforts, (although don't get too close to the edge!), and keep up the good work.

One method used in behavioral therapy is gradual exposure to the feared experience or situation, through carefully graduated steps or tasks. I'm sure it could be self-applied.

Best Wishes,
Adam

overcoming obstacles:
taking baby steps to minimize the anxiety. over time i am able to bite off a bigger chunk of the obstacle.
using afirmations about myself. writing them down so i can reference them when i feel like i'm taking a backward step.
stating my boundaries.
using "i feel" statements to communicate.
visualizing success
utilizing support systems like pc and talking about what's going on during the process of overcoming the obstacle..
hope this helps. i don't do all these perfectly by any means but these things have helped me in the past.

I guess I'm more of an in-for-a-dime-in-for-a-dollar kind.

I decided to try and address my long-standing low self opinion. I have never felt comfortable with how I look. I know that we're all led to try and fulfill some impossible Hollywood standard, but even in people that are far from the archetype, I see things that are better than myself. Feature by feature I can always point out my ugliness by seeing beauty in others.

So to confront this, I went to a nude beach for the first time. I just walked right out there and bared all in front of the people that were there. I was terrified, but no one pointed, no one laughed. It was a very non-judgemental feeling of acceptance, being ignored while so completely exposed.

I don't think I'll be making a habit of it, but it was quite liberating.

Interesting topic.
I too was having problems with self-image/esteem. I decided for one week I would not wear any makeup. I was getting tired of taking so long to get ready out, and how this was impacting my general life. At first it was nerve-wracking, but each day I thought about it less and less, and by the end of the week I felt quite liberated. Everyone still treated me well, and in the end no one else really cared.

I've always done things like this instinctively -- only recently did I learn that many of these ideas are actual techniques in some forms of therapy.

I say stick to your instincts. As long as you confront your fears in a safe way (and it sounds like you are), it can be a very powerful thing. It also tells me that you trust yourself enough to make that leap, which is an important part of the equation.

Trust yourself as you face this next challenge..I wish you well.

So you are talking about just facing it hard as is. In a way you are right - the only way out is through

Hi FJRCP

a great topic. How self image be it ones mental emotional abilities, or ones outward physical appearance . How a few or many individuals can rob a person of the life and love they deserve.

I draw some and always had a leaning to drawing faces. I started with basic drawing classes much of was figure drawing. I learned to appreciate the human form not for its ideal beauty but for the uniqueness we are. Each line ,shape color is a god given gift that is our special finger print and always beautiful. And our soul is also an imprint and will be unlike any other.

Those who damage us rob us from many opportunities in life and instill more fear rather than kindness love and admiration.

Thank you for this topic . I have still many fears . And with each deep hurt I get set way back.

Take care

Patricia

Thanks for the post, and the nice heart. I don't ever want to see a picture of you. It can't possibly improve on the beauty I see in your words.

Stay tough.

PC

Way to go, PC. A+ for courage!

I went to a nudist camp twice and it was fun. But then, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist at heart, I think.
I was a little concerned about my body not being perfect, but then decided, what the heck, no one else's is either. (I had a great time. Hope you did too. I think everyone should try it once. We are far too prudish in this society.)

When I was going through childhood, God, I thought I would never get through it, I was mercilessly punished by kids, for being skinny, tall, flat chested, oh heck. It was crappy. I had very few friends, if any, so my social skills were really lacking. Until I hit high school and hung out with other misfits. At least then I belonged. And I started to enjoy school more. Maybe the ugly duckling finally turned into a swan, i don't know. But as an adult, I don't have to worry about those things anymore. Still, I can definitely relate.

Please love yourself. I do. You are considerate and sensitive, much loved traits in a guy.

Awwww...shucks...thanks...

I recently made contact with one of my misfit friends from school. People can be so cruel, and I remember her being shunned by many. I didn't go out of my way to befriend her, but like most others in my realm of the rejected, treated her with respect. Some of those things can last a long time.

As to the nudism, it's wonderful for me, but being a "single" male gets you treated like a wolf in the hen house. Probably rightly so, because I'm sure that many opportunistic men ruin it for the few of us, but still....

The beach is nice because it's public, you just have to figure out the social order there (uh, no sir, i didn't realize this piece of sand designate me as a "catcher"). The clubs around here only let you in as a couple or if you have some kind of membership...whatever...

I'm going to talk to my neighbors and see if they mind me doing a litle sun bathing "au natural".

Thanks Claudia, There's a place in my heart for tall, skinny, flat chested Canadians!

Hehehehe! Thanks a lot! Much appreciated, "catcher". (from still tall, no longer skinny or flat chested)