Can't see my life without it...

I've thought long and hard about what I could do to stop, but it was then I realized that I can't see myself not cutting. It's what's worked for me for the past five years, and continues to work today. It's the only thing that really gets rid of my anxiety and helps to ground me. I really don't think anything will be able to replace it. I feel like I'm just going to be a cutter for the rest of my life.

((((((((((fallenangel337)))))))))))))))))

Not being able to see yourself NOT cutting is perfectly normal. It's become such a reliable coping mechanism and such a big part of your life that without it - it's unimaginable to even think about! But it *is* possible to be without self injury in your life, it just takes a lot of practice and time and effort.

Do you have a therapist or someone to work with to help you learn other ways to ground you and to deal with your anxiety??

My T and I are working on it, but I don't feel like I'm making huge amounts of progress. With all of the other crap goign on in my life, it's hard to focus strictly on one issue. But we're both working really hard to come up with a solution.

After Monday's session, I felt better and motivated...I felt like I could take control of this. Now I feel like it's taking control of me.

Does your T have training/experience in dealing with self-injury?? That can make a load of difference...

You can do it, one moment at a time... I know it's scary having an addiction "take control" of your life (been there, done that...) but you can come through this. If you don't think you're making a lot of progress within therapy, have you told your T that? Perhaps there is a support group you could join maybe?

I've read a lot of books on self-injury, maybe one of them might be helpful to you. Let me know if you want my "list" and I'll PM you tomorrow (unfortunately I've got to get up early tomorrow so I need to logoff soon )

Stay safe.

Hi fallenangel,
Well it is hard to top the incredible words of wisdom provided by Christina86! I sure don't like the idea of you hurting yourself so if it would help to talk a bit I am here. I heard a great "alternative" the other day that may work for you...hold ice cubes in your hands! I hope that doesn't sound silly but it maybe something to try.

I cut/burned for years and somehow-not sure exactly-I came up with enough coping skills/distractions not sure what but I haven't done it in a few years so recovery is possible..please call someone before you harm!
You may contact me if you would like.
Please take care of yourself,

K

Although it's not her speciality, my T does have quite a bit of training and experience with SI.

If you don't mind, i would really like that list when you get a chance. I've read a few that are really helpful, so that would be very much appreciated.



Thank you so much for your help and support.

When you have worked on your anxiety and no longer have dissociation then you will no longer need SI to cope..............

I feel like we have so much to work on, we never really get to focus on one thing, and we can never really alleviate one problem, because they all sort of affect and worsen the others. It can be a very viscious cycle.

fallenangel

(((((((fallen)))))))

It seems you are very much addicted to cutting. I myself currently see the self harm stopping - but that's because my life's finally getting sorted (education wise) and thoughh I know I have a long while to stop, I know it will happen one day: I can take comfort in that.

However. Because you're in such a bad place right now and you aren't on the correct road to recovery...it's taking a while for you to see that there will be a time where you stop self harming. All you can do is hope. HOPE that one day it will stop. At least then you have some motivation to try and make it stop.

Good luck from me and loads of s

xxx

I hear what you are saying. Keep working, though, it is possible to untangle it all......