What do you guys think about before/while/after you cut?

Broken Wings · Jul 10, 2009, 05:12 AM

I've been cutting for many years now. And while I sort of know what my thought process is while cutting, I'm curious to know some of yours.

Jul 10, 2009, 10:11 PM

I think of how mad I am at the person or people who made me want to cut. While I'm cutting, I think, "Person's/people's name(s) here, this is why I'm cutting." Afterwards, I feel great that I hurt myself & made myself bleed, but I also regret it.

Pup · Jul 10, 2009, 10:12 PM

been a self harmer since i was 7
now 16
still self harm
before - i need to cut, i want to cut, i cant do it anymore
during - not enough, its not enough
after - why did i do that? "so and so" is going to be so upset with me... what if they leave? im such an idiot.

cycle repeat.

dance59326 · Jul 11, 2009, 12:22 AM

Hi Broken Wings, first and foremost, do you think that you can edit the "marker" for this thread to the trigger sign? I think that this can get a bit graphic and may give some bad ideas to others who are having a rough time right now.
Before I cut: feelings of shame, guilt, intense emotions = too much tension to bear
When I cut: feel of great relief due to the endorphine rush, also feel so much better
After I cut: I feel bad about my deed and wamt to self-punish myself for that action = bad cycling
After I cut: have to write up a behavioral analysis in extreme detail so I can help myself from that issue and improve it from there
Behavioral analysis paper outline is in my "social group" http://forums.psychcentral.com/group...5#gmessage6185

Behavior Chain Analysis of Problem Behavior
1. Describe the specific PROBLEM BEHAVIOR

(flashback, cutting, disassociation, hiding, closeting, panic attack, etc.)
A. Be very specific and detailed. No vague terms.

B. Identify exactly what you did, said, thought or felt (if feelings are the targeted problem behavior).

C. Describe the intensity of the behavior and other characteristics of the behavior that are
important.

D. Describe the problem behavior in enough detail that an actor in a play or movie could recreate the behavior exactly.
2. Describe the specific PRECIPITATING EVENT that started the whole chain of behavior.

A. Start with the environmental event that started the chain. Always start with some event in your environment, even if it doesn't seem to you that the environmental event "caused" the problem behavior. Possible questions to get at this are:
·What exact event precipitated the start of the chain reaction?
·When did the sequence of events that led to the problem behavior begin? When did the problem start?
·What was going on the moment the problem started?
·What were you doing, thinking, feeling, imagining at that time?
·Why did the problem behavior happen on that days instead of the day before?
3. Describe in general VULNERABILITY FACTORS happening before the precipitating event.

What factors or events made you more vulnerable to a problematic chain? Areas to examine are:
A. Physical illness; unbalanced eating or sleeping; injury

B. Use of drugs or alcohol; misuse of prescription drugs

C. Stressful events in the environment (either positive or negative)

D. Intense emotions, such as sadness, anger, fear, loneliness

E. Previous behaviors of your own that you found stressful
4. Describe in excruciating detail THE CHAIN OF EVENTS that led up to the problem behavior.

A. What next? Imagine that your problem behavior is chained to the precipitating event in the environment. How long is the chain? Where does it go? What are the links? Write out all links in the chain of events, no matter how small. Be very specific, as if you are writing a script for a play.
·What exact thought (or belief), feeling, or action followed the precipitating event? What thought, feeling, or action followed that? What next?
·Look at each link in the chain after you write it. Was there another thought feeling, or action that could have occurred? Could someone else have thought, felt, or acted differently at that point? If so, explain how that specific thought, feeling, or action came to be.
·For each link in the chain, as if there is a smaller link I could describe.

B. The links can be thoughts, emotions, sensations and behaviors.
5. What are the CONSEQUENCES of this behavior? Be specific.
·How did other people react immediately and later?
·How did you feel immediately following the behavior? Later?
·What effect did the behavior have on you and your environment?
6. Describe in detail different SOLUTIONS to the problem.

A.Go back to the chain of your behaviors following the prompting event. Circle each point or link indicating that if you had done something different, you would have avoided the problem behavior.

B.What could you have done differently at each link in the chain of events to avoid the problem behavior? What coping behaviors or skillful behaviors could you have used?
7. Describe in detail the PREVENTION STRATEGY

A. How could you have kept the chain from starting by reducing your vulnerability to the chain.
8. Describe what you are going to do to REPAIR important or significant consequences of the problem behavior.

I also use self-help whenever possible. I also create Impulse control logs

IMPULSE CONTROL LOG

The impulse control log is taken from S.A.F.E and is geared specifically for self-injury but can be used for many types of compulsions.
With the impulse control log it is required that you log down every thought or feeling associated with a particular urge to self injure, whether or not you actually go through with the act or not. In the beginning the goal is that the writing will become a diversion from the act itself. The long-term goal is to understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Self-injury itself is a thought, not a feeling. Once you can fully grasp and understand that internally, you can begin to understand that self-injury is a behavior and behaviors can be changed.

Self-injury keeps us from dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Feelings or thoughts we find unacceptable are disguised through self-harming in some way although only a temporary relief is felt. If you feel the need to self-harm there is a feeling behind that, something you need to express.

Using the impulse control log is a good way to make you slow down, think before you act and remind you that you are in control.

Below is a generic example

IMPULSE CONTROL LOG

1.SELF-INJURY THOUGHTS: Burning, Cutting

2.TIME AND DATE: 3/9/07

3.LOCATION: My Room

4.SITUATION: A Friend and I aren't speaking, my boyfriend and I got into a fight, a relative is sick, and I lost my wallet.

5.FEELING: Angry, Upset, Lonely, Frustrated, Alone, And Disappointed

6.WHAT WOULD BE THE RESULT OF SELF-INJURY? If I cut/burn, Then I don’t have to get angry, then I don’t have to cry, then I don’t have to care,
then it won’t matter what they say or do, I can act and appear like I don't care.

7. WHAT WOULD I BE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY SELF-INJURY?
That I do have feelings, that I think no ones cares, that I think I don't matter, that it hurts less if I cut/burn myself, that I'm scared.

8.ACTION TAKEN: Ended up running, doing some artwork, and writing in my journal.

9.COMMENTS: My desire to cut or act out is still w/me but I’m challenging the thoughts. Tonight I plan on going to the gym and then to a friends house.
__________________

Feel free to print out this ICL to log your own impulses.
Share whatever you feel appropriate with us as you wish..
__________________

IMPULSE CONTROL LOG

1.SELF-INJURY THOUGHTS:

2.TIME AND DATE:

3.LOCATION:

4.SITUATION:

5.FEELING:

6.WHAT WOULD BE THE RESULT OF SELF-INJURY?

7. WHAT WOULD I BE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY SELF-INJURY?

8.ACTION TAKEN:

9.COMMENTS:

I hope that this helps you

PM me anytime or put up a post in the socail group

dance59326

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What do you guys think about before/while/after you cut?

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