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  #1  
Old Nov 28, 2009, 01:20 PM
Anonymous44400
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I've wanted to do this for awhile..
the most i ever did was use an aluminum foil ball. I've tried one of those survival kit ones but it was so sharp..I only could succeed in getting a mere scratch.

I remember when I was first depressed I was so scared. Once, I hid my scissors for fear of this. I also didn't want to hurt my wrists, just only my upper arm..but now, i only think of my wrist.

I don't hide scissors anymore b/c i feel like I have the control. But i feel tempted when things happen (ex: i do something wrong..). when i want to do it, i just scratch myself, but it never feels like enough.
i never did it because i never wanted anyone to see scars, i cared so much about what people think (AND I STILL DO)...but gosh man...

i guess what i'm saying is...these feelings are bothering me. my mind is going insane, i want to do it, but i care too much about what others would say, and i'm kinda scared when i see my veins too...i don't want blood gushing out but i still want to see a little blood. i feel like i need to do this.

:'(

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  #2  
Old Nov 28, 2009, 10:41 PM
BeautifullyMistaken's Avatar
BeautifullyMistaken BeautifullyMistaken is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 173
You might feel like you want to, but deep down you don't want to. The scars aren't worth it. The guilt that comes after isn't worth it either. When you feel the urge to do something like this, take a minute to think about what 'your about to do'. You don't need to hurt yourself because in the end, it isn't going to make you feel any better. Have you talked to a counselor about any problems you are having? It will help if you have someone to talk to. Any close friends that you trust enough to explain the problems you are having?
  #3  
Old Nov 28, 2009, 11:47 PM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
I hope you are able to resist. SI is very addicting and I hope you can prevent that from happening. Is there someone you can talk to about how you are feeling? Maybe they can help you come up with some healthier coping mechanisms. Please take care of you.

BB
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this nagging feeling.


  #4  
Old Nov 29, 2009, 02:28 AM
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paintingravens paintingravens is offline
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Location: In a state of constant anxiety
Posts: 393
(((((((((((((((((opaquemind)))))))))))))))))))


just be safe...
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this nagging feeling.this nagging feeling.
  #5  
Old Nov 29, 2009, 09:49 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Hi OP, welcome. I just read your profile. You said you want to start talking about your issues and maybe you could start doing it here. We are listening whenever you are ready. I am sorry that you are in distress. Please stay safe........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #6  
Old Nov 29, 2009, 10:24 AM
Anonymous44400
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Thank you everyone
I don't know who to turn to, which is why i joined PC.
I don't have any close person to talk to, I can't trust anyone with everything i want to say. I had a great friend who knew I was feeling depressed and I trusted her, but our friendship isn't the same anymore..

I dont know if this is true (but this is what i think), but my friends might not bother too much with me since I'm so crazy with my moods..I can be a cheerful person, but if something happens, my mood might switch to being depressed...and maybe they're so used to my stupid ways that they think I'm just having another mood switch...
  #7  
Old Nov 29, 2009, 10:38 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,179
Quote:
Originally Posted by opaquemind0 View Post
I can be a cheerful person, but if something happens, my mood might switch to being depressed...and maybe they're so used to my stupid ways that they think I'm just having another mood switch...
They are not stupid ways. These are your feelings...........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #8  
Old Nov 29, 2009, 10:44 AM
Anonymous44400
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
They are not stupid ways. These are your feelings...........

thank you, Sannah.
I hope I can get a friend who would understand this and just listen to me.
Thanks for this!
Sannah
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