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#1
Dec 11, 2009, 04:09 PM
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So I had my second session with the campus counselor today, which I think went much better than the first. He told me I need some family support with this, and because when he asked I told him the only one in my family I might be able to tell about my SI is my older brother, he wants me to tell him over christmas break... :/
How do you go about telling people about SI?? Any advice/personal experiences with it? Cuz I gotta tell ya, I'm stuck and I have NO idea how I'm gonna do this... 
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#2
Dec 11, 2009, 04:10 PM
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I agreed to try, but I'm scared s***less.
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#3
Dec 11, 2009, 04:42 PM
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 It's hard, I won't lie, but you just need to say it, there isn't an easier way unfortunately (well as far as i know). At least get the main point out about SI. Then, later on, you can give more details out and hopefully you will get more comfortable with talking to him. I think that once you get his first reaction, you can work it out from there (not to mention he's your bro, so he loves you!!) ((((((((((paintingravens)))))))))) |
 paintingravens
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#4
Dec 11, 2009, 04:46 PM
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I can just imagine it now: "Merry Christmas bro! By the way, I cut myself." *hands him a gift*....
I mean, of all the times to mention it, would Christmas break really be the best time for it?
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#5
Dec 11, 2009, 11:19 PM
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Well...fortunately my T told my mum for me as he was apparently allowed to if he thought I was in danger. She acted well, since then I have told a few other people and everyone of them has reacted differently. Now, if I feel I want someone to know, if just pull my sleeves up and come straight out with it.
I'd say just get it out as quickly as you can or even write a note and hand it to him. Then you can say everything before he reacts. If you write it down then I am guessing your brother will want to read to the end - then you can actually get in WHY you do it and there wont be any awkward questions afterwards. Sorry my sentences are badly structured...it's 4am I want to sleep XD Love <  I_T_D >
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| paintingravens
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#6
Dec 12, 2009, 12:12 AM
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Thanks for the advice you guys. Though the idea is certainly not appealing, I guess it's best to get it over with...though I don't know if Christmas would be the best time for it. I suppose I'll wait and see if the opportunity arises and go from there... :/
I think I like the idea of writing a letter... at least I won't have to see his immediate reaction... *sigh* Suppose we'll see how it goes... Btw, feel free, anyone, to offer more advice--not that this advice didn't help, lol, I just feel like I could use all the help I can get...
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#7
Dec 12, 2009, 07:59 AM
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| paintingravens
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#8
Dec 12, 2009, 11:00 AM
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That's a tough one. I don't think I really told anyone about my SI, they just saw it. After a close friend knew, I'd call her when I was feeling the urge to SI, but most of those calls went unanswered...So now I just don't talk about it at all and do my best to cover it up.
I would suggest telling him before Christmas. You might be surprised as to how helpful he could be. It would give you someone to talk to when you feel you're reaching the point of SI. I assume its worse when you have no one to talk about it with (for me at least). Then there isn't anyone to try to stop you...
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_________________________ On The Long Road To Recovery........ When I Say "I'm Okay". I Want Someone To Look Me In The Eyes And Say "Tell Me The Truth". |
| paintingravens
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#9
Dec 12, 2009, 11:07 AM
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Good luck, paintingravens.
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| paintingravens
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#10
Dec 12, 2009, 12:34 PM
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(((((((((((((((((Paintingravens)))))))))))))))))))))
I have only told maybe one person up front that I hurt myself and it was after the fact and I felt bad about having done it and felt they had the right to know. It was hard and scarey, but it was nice to have that support, and the reaction was concern and fear for me. Maybe you could write a letter to him, get your thoughts down on how to say it and what you want to say, or if possible maybe a group session with your counsler? I wish you the best of luck hun, and sending lots of hugs to you my friend Many blessings Typo |
| paintingravens
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#11
Dec 12, 2009, 06:15 PM
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-- What made them feel like SI-ing? Was it ever anything I said or did? -- If they didn't want to say what it was for them, what might it be for anyone else they knew? At the time, it turned out that I knew at least four people who were (or had been) cutting, they all knew each other, and I'm pretty sure most of them knew others besides. -- Was there anything I could do to help? I was thinking it might help if you let your brother know that you were seeing a counselor. That way, he might be less likely to feel it was up to him to rescue you or something. As you've already figured out, it probably wouldn't work so well to say, "Merry Christmas bro, I cut myself..." as you hand him his present. What about pulling him aside and asking if you can talk privately, maybe go for a walk or coffee or something? If I were him, I think I'd want to hear it in person rather than by letter -- but of course I'm not him, nor you either. Good luck, paintingravens! |
| paintingravens, Typo
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#12
Dec 12, 2009, 07:59 PM
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hm, well I guess that's what facebook is for... I might try a message via facebook...
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#13
Dec 12, 2009, 08:04 PM
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#14
Dec 13, 2009, 12:57 AM
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You could tell him through facebook. Maybe that will ease the tension since you won't have to tell him face to face. But maybe it would be best face to face at the same time. That's a tough call though, cause it might be better before Christmas. I wish you the best of luck.
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_________________________ On The Long Road To Recovery........ When I Say "I'm Okay". I Want Someone To Look Me In The Eyes And Say "Tell Me The Truth". |
| paintingravens
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#15
Dec 13, 2009, 06:53 PM
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Thanks to all for the advice.
I'm wondering if I should just wait sometime after New Year's, instead of telling him before Christmas and then it just be an awkward Christmas on top of a stressful one... I think I'd rather wait until after the holidays so the awkwardness can be saved for a much less stressful period. My counselor wanted it done over the holidays, but I REALLY REALLY don't think the holidays are the best time for it. The holidays should be a generally fun time enjoyed with family, something that will be killed with the awkwardness if I tell him before Christmas... I'm just gonna put it on the back burner for now so we can all enjoy the time together.
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#16
Dec 14, 2009, 02:55 AM
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#17
Dec 14, 2009, 03:39 AM
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I see what you mean, and I guess I can always email my counselor and ask if it'd be better to wait or not, but if I've gone about 3 years without telling my family already, I'm sure I can manage another month or so, you know?
The thing is--and this has just been on my mind since I relapsed--I know it's a problem, I mean, I recognize it as a problem, but it just--I don't know, it doesn't FEEL like it's a problem still. I know it is, but I don't KNOW, you know? Not fully and without a doubt... It's still not a problem TO ME, though I know it's not good and I can say that it is a problem... I'm not sure if I'm making sense or not... I know if I'm gonna keep coming in for counseling, I need to acknowledge this as a problem so I can start to get rid of it, and I know it is, but... I don't know. It still just feels like something I just do, though I can tell myself that it is a problem...Am I still in denial maybe? Maybe still not ready to give it up? Or does anyone else still feel like this? How do I fully accept it as a problem? If I keep telling myself enough, will I eventually believe it completely? Which is another reason why it might be better to wait... If I wait another month, I may have fully accepted that this is a problem by then, and I will feel more ready to tell someone else...
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#18
Dec 14, 2009, 05:13 AM
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------------------------ If you don't want to know what I got from the above, then be sure not to read this reply 
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| paintingravens, Sannah
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#19
Dec 14, 2009, 06:55 AM
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lol, I like the little ps note below your reply... :P
I actually didn't consider that my brother might try to stop me from doing it... but then again, I don't live with him, so there's not much he can do to try to stop me while I'm at college... Besides, he's always maintained a good amount of objectivity about situations and issues--makes it easier to get an unbiased opinion. Even if I did live with him... well, idk, I've never had to fess up my SI before, so I guess I really have no idea he would do if I lived with him... :/
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#20
Dec 14, 2009, 09:23 AM
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A better approach, though, might be to develop other, healthier ways to cope. In that event, SI wouldn't seem necessary. Does or could your counselor help you develop other ways to cope? |
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#21
Dec 14, 2009, 11:24 AM
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I know it's a way of coping with negative emotions, and I should be finding new ways to cope or better yet, deal with the issues at hand and such... I JUST got through with my second session, like 2 days ago--I know I have a ways to go. I'm still workin on it.
I'm just saying, even though I know what it is, and I know it's a problem, it just doesn't FEEL like a problem still, and I'm wondering if anyone else ever struggles with that?
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#22
Dec 14, 2009, 12:07 PM
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"I'm still workin on it."
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#23
Dec 15, 2009, 04:43 PM
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I would not do it on Christmas day. It is a REALLY tough prospect. I just told my boyfriend of a year a few days ago... fortunately we were having a kind of soul-baring session... so he had told me some things, too, which made it easier to say. My family does not know, and only two friends know that I ever struggled with it and one of them thinks that I stopped in 10th grade. I wish that I had some advice, but the best way really is to just say it. I mean... it really does suck. But telling someone is kind of freeing in and of itself. Good luck! And if you need to talk about how it went, we are all here. Also, feel free to PM me if you ever wanna talk about it. I struggle with cutting, too. And I am also seeing my campus counselor. Anyway, good luck to you!
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| paintingravens
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