[HZ3006]

So, it's been a while since I actually cut myself, but I recently realized that there are other things I do to hurt myself.
The first time I stopped(I started again later on) I became self-destructive by dating guys that wouldn't work or weren't actually available (like, they were players). I even got emotionally involved with them even though I knew it wouldn't work out. I let them break my heart.
I also recently realized that sometimes I get so frustrated or furious that I will do things like pull my hair with all my strength or I will hit something as hard as I can just to hurt my hand. Sometimes I do stuff like this because the shower will go cold in the middle of taking one, or possibly because my computer won't connect to the internet.
I also avoid talking to people like my mom or my sister and I don't know why. I even yell at them to push them away sometimes.
I really don't know what to do about any of this, but I really want to stop. I don't know what to do or why I do this or anything, I'm just so confused about all of this. I wish I could just understand everything.

[puzzclar]

The key here is to find the underlying problem, professionals can help with this.

If you want to stop then, stop. Make a contract with yourself and then when you break it note it down, and then move on. Soon you will stop, it just takes time.

And finally, you really don't want to know EVERYTHING. Somethings are better to be discovered over time. For one thing, I really don't want to understand why I have to deal with so much. I don't want to understand why some people drive so SLOWLY. I don't want to know the answer to a complicated problem. I want to discover it out for myself in time. I believe the correct term is Self-Discovery. Finding out who you are, and how to fix your problems. If you didn't learn, then you could not understand everything. You have to learn first and then understand. That's just how the world works.

Just try and stop. It will be hard. The urges will still be there. You just have to keep pushing against the urges. I hope this helps, and make sense. (up for tomany hours with out to much sleep) Good luck on stopping!

Congratulations on not cutting, HZ3006. Is seeking professional help an option for you?