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#1
Feb 09, 2010, 03:05 PM
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I really really HATE my self harm scars ..I only do it on one arm But the scars are really bad.
Also when i self harm i have to do it bad..have to have stitches so the scars are even worse >: ( I feel one day i will really hate myself for doing this i will look at my arm and feel soo mad i ever did it and i am starting to feel it now. >: ( But when i get in one of my bad moods i dont care...i am sooo dumb. >: ( |
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#2
Feb 09, 2010, 03:18 PM
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One day you will look at your scars and not hate yourself...you will look at them and know you survived. Proof on your arm that you went through hell and survived.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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 Indie'sOK
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#3
Feb 09, 2010, 03:43 PM
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Unfortunately you can't get rid of them, I'm pretty sure surgery won't work. But then again, why get rid of them? Our scars are proof that we survived, and they tell a story. Focus on embracing them as a part of your body that makes you unique.
__________________
Only you can prevent neurotypical jerkiness!
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| desperate&disturbed
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#4
Feb 09, 2010, 09:20 PM
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You aren't dumb sweetie. It's your way of handling things. I agree with Indie that our scars show who we are and what we've been through. I know how you feel though, sometimes I hate mine as well. I hate how people look at me when they see them.
Try to make that a reason why you want to quit. You can't get rid of the scars you have now but you can prevent yourself from making more. I know it's hard, the journey to recovery never is easy, but remember it will benefit you in more ways than you think. I wish you luck. Much love Lydia! Last edited by KeepHoldingOn; Feb 10, 2010 at 12:43 AM. |
| AShadow721, Indie'sOK
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#5
Feb 09, 2010, 11:34 PM
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I feel the same way about my scars. And the people i work with always stare at them, i dont think they notice that i know. There very noticalbe, since there 3 large gashes on my lower arm. I does bother me, but like Indie said they are a part your life. It makes you stronger, and never want to do them again
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***Carpe Diem*** |
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#6
Feb 09, 2010, 11:42 PM
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I agree with everyone here, our scars do tell our stories. I know for me personally there are some days when my scars dont bug me then there are other days when they drive me nuts. You will get to the point where you will not hate them all the time. It is a part of your life and a reminder everyday of why you should not do it.
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#7
Feb 10, 2010, 12:48 AM
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ditto on the scars telling stories.
the only scars i've gotten taken care of are the ones from my suicide attempt. i don't think i'll ever be okay with those... neither were my parents. so they paid for it. and basically told me i had to do it. it's funny though... do you ever notice that when you talk to new people you check out their arms to see if they have scars too? its as though we are looking for someone else to talk to, to reach out to. it's powerful.
__________________
MCLEAN HOSPITAL ALUMN!! www.mylifeintreatment.com there is a LOT of personal information on there from my current hospitalization and it may not be for everyone, but it's a good read! please PM me anytime, day or night... i am always awake and wanting to talk!! We'd never know what's wrong without the pain Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same |
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#8
Feb 10, 2010, 02:47 AM
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I haven't cut in over 2 years. I still have the scars, although they are white and not terribly easy to see. When I did cut myself, I wanted it to be bad enough to leave scars. And I re-cut my cuts to make them even worse. I don't hate myself for my scars. They are a part of who I used to be. They show at least some of the scars I have on the inside that no one else can see. But if you don't want anymore scars, stop hurting yourself, or try not to. No one wants you to hurt yourself.
__________________
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." -Mother Teresa "Respect is love in plain clothes” -Frankie Byrne “Mankind must remember that peace is not God's gift to his creatures; peace is our gift to each other.” - Elie Wiesel “Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.” - Elie Wiesel "And even though you're fed up, Huh, ya got to keep your head up, Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier, ooooo child things are gonna get brighter" - Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac Shakur |
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#9
Feb 10, 2010, 11:10 PM
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jennaorgana- I totally do the same thing when I'm talking to someone I look for the scars, just to know that I am not alone. My parents hate my scars and they always point them out too, I HATE IT!!!! It's no like i wanna forget about my past, its I don't need people reminding me of it.
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#10
Feb 10, 2010, 11:16 PM
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I never point my scars out but I definitely do look to see if other people have scars too. I need that sort of verification sometimes.
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#11
Feb 15, 2010, 01:21 PM
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I know how you feel. Sometimes I like them. Sometimes I even revel in them, but when my boyfriends runs his fingers or eyes over my arm, I can't help but think he's judging me. I snap at people who ask about them and I usually want them to disappear, but even if I could get rid of them, until I'm truly done with SI ... what would be the point? I "quit" cutting about 1.5 years ago ... but i've had 4 slip ups ... none too bad, but all bad enough to feel like a failure.
I'll never love my scars, but I can't keep hating myself over them otherwise ... I'll create more. |
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#12
Feb 17, 2010, 08:02 PM
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evrytime something hapens that upsets me i can always look at my scars and think i may be a freak but i have been through more than the other person. it reminds me no matter what everyone has their own problems and that no one is totally ok
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| sadden
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#13
Feb 18, 2010, 08:53 AM
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it may seem like i have no scars but its because i did them especially to hide them. upon first glance you would see a normal scarless guy... looking deeper all that changes
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#14
Feb 20, 2010, 06:19 PM
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1st let me say, you're not dumb. You're hurting. I'm sorry to see you're in so much pain!
I also have many scars, and am ashamed for others to see my arms. What hurts more is the response I've gotten from others. But my hope for you is to one day get through this and the scars will be a reminder that you're a survivor! |
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#15
Feb 23, 2010, 09:11 PM
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I understand what you mean. I always look at it this way. Scars are one of the many reason to stop! SI is not the best coping method and there are many other ways to cope with things.
(((((((ly)))))))). Stay strong and be safe! Quote:
__________________
 *~Sometimes all you need is a hug~*Such as we are made of, such we be. - William Shakespeare From error to error one discovers the entire truth. - Sigmund Freud |
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#16
Feb 24, 2010, 06:36 PM
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Excellent replies. I am SO thankful, that I am not the only one. I felt truly insane. I've cut (on and off) since I was 20 yrs old, and will be 45 soon. I went a really long time w/o cutting at all, but had a horrible Winter of hardships and just picked-up where I left off. Now I am SO dreading spring and summer. Everyone will see my arms and legs. I feel sick when I go to wash my hands and forget my sleeve is pushed up, and someone goes, "OMG! What happened to your arms!?" /So I truly understand about hating them. I guess I just feel like, when someone remarks, "It was MY battle!"..."Stay out of it!"...(I don't say that, of course.) But I feel completely humiliated and embarassed. I was SO very encouraged to see all of your replies to Lydia. Excellent words. / Thanks Lydia and all others. /Nice to know i am NOT alone.
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