[Tatyana2009]

I just wanted to make a note that most of the people on this site are adults, but some are children.

I think that especially on this forum (SI) but also on other forums, it is important for posters who respond to threads to check the age of the person who seeks advice/support. Some of the posters are as young as 10 (!!) and I would be very careful with the kind of response they should receive. Just thought its worth mentioning and keeping this in mind.

T XX

[desperate&disturbed]

yeah you are probably right

[KeepHoldingOn]

That's a good idea. I tend to check profiles before I respond to a post but not everyone does. The only problem is that not everyone here has their age in their profile or are unwilling to disclose their age.

[Tatyana2009]

Thats true. I do the same. But on SI, eating disorder and some times relationship issues I ask how old the person is. My reply to a teen boy about relationships will prob be different than to a 40 year old male and my response to a 12 year old who harm herself will be worded differently than to a 30 year old. Best ask the poster or else post something that would be caring and supportive for all ages, in my view.

This should really be applied to all subforums on here
I mean, I'm different now at 18 when it comes to my sensitivity levels at how people respond to my posts then when I first joined at 16, and that was only 2 and 1/2 years ago!

(Tatyana2009))))))((((((everyone))))))))))))))))) i think this is very true with all the forums as Kaika said. You never really know the persons age. or whos reading.
ppl do hide thier ages. so much of what we write can influnce ppl young children forsure.
theres a place called COPPA
"COPPA - Children's Online Privacy Protection Act"
it protects children .
http://www.coppa.org/coppa.htm

That's very true T09..thanks for the reminder!

ps: as young as 10? really??? wow!!!

take care everyone

[Tatyana2009]

Yes, its a serious issue. I am glad many of you embrace this.

This sort of site is so helpful for kids and adults alike but it does worry me that young people are exposed here to things that can be very difficult to process. We need to protect them at the same time as supporting them and being there for them.

Thanks for the support guys!! x

[KeepHoldingOn]

I think that's also why it is so important to realize that although this site can be very useful it should be used with caution. It should not take the place of talking things out with a therapist or someone you can trust. One should take in account that there are people of all ages here and should respond accordingly to all threads.

I completely understand what you mean and am glad you brought this issue to everyone's attention.

[googley]

While I do think it is important to take into consideration the age of people when replying, sometimes you can not tell. I do agree that when it is a child that advice should be give appropriately.

But what is posted in other threads other than those that are posted by children, is open to everyone. People often put triggers on things that are graphic or sensitive. While there are lots of parents who are not aware of what their children are doing online, it is not our total responsibility to police what is on the web and what is on this site. While there are a lot of parents who are not aware, it is their job to police what their children are getting into. Some of the stuff I come here to get support for is bad stuff. Not stuff that I would want a child reading about. But being as this is the only place I can talk about it outside of my T hour each week, I don't want to feel like I can't talk about what I need to because there are children on the site. I need to be able to trusts that the parent's of children on this site are doing their job to police their children's on line activity. There are a lot of bad things on the web. Just go to the NY Times site and find out about traumatic and disturbing things. But people don't ask the NY times to not put bad/disturbing news on the web. And children can reach those pages just as well. If parents are smart they have a blocker on their computers to protect their children. While no everyone does, it is part of a parent's responsibility.

The sad part is ((googley )))))) )) and i am a parent I can not always control where my kids went on the net when they were young. Thats why i did not get a comp till my daughter was 16. Then I put blocks on things as you said, I did so with the tv too.
I could not control where they went on the net at school. My daughters school was good they had i think a block called bessy. I may have it wrong the name that is
My sons school was way to libral imho. They let him go where he wanted on the comp. Not a good thing.
Taught him grafic writing that to this day has effected him and the whole family.
No one is asking anyone to not post (googley)))))))))))))))))))))))
I think just pointing out there are young children here.
My son has PDD he takes things literal. Reads, thinks, then may do....
My comp in the other room even thou hes of age has this blocked. Now.
Its my responsibility to make sure hes safe.

[pegasus]

I think the joining age here is 14 but the forums can be read by any age.

[Tatyana2009]

Googly - I agree with Muffy (I think Muffy you are a very responsible parent. I like your approach to this.)

Googly - I value this site a lot and do think its wonderful it offers the platform for adults and children to verbalise and share their (sometime taugh, garphic, complicated) experiences. All I said was that in responding to someone post we should be taking into account the poster's age. You are right in saying that parents should be respoinsible. But I disagree with the word policing. Guiding and keeping safe - yes. But policing to me is something the autorities and the state should be doing not parents. When it comes to the net and tv and mobiles parents should explain their kids the risks. They should be blocking any sex sites/channels etc but not news sites. Nothing wrong with exposing kids (dependant on age) to news. As long as they have the parental guidance and support. And that is the important thing for me - parental guidance, support and care. If we as parents do not offer that and only 'police' we are risking in raising very unhealthy kids. I also want to make another point - there are kids on this site that really need to post, be graphic and expose their abuse. For these kids this site is great as it can offer them something their home does not and some life line, quite literally. So I am glad they have access to this. I do not think resources should not be available to kids, also about very prominant issues such as depression, abuse, anxiety and SI, mental illness as well as support and help. And in that this site is great. I hope you can see my issue with policing. If these kids parents offered them the love and care and guidance the kids need, no policing is needed. And this is what I wish for all kids. But I think this is a somewhat different discussion to the one I intended when I posted. I just think that we, here, as adults should keep in mind that when we give advice we should take into account the age of the poster. I would not advise a kid of 10 to stand up to the abuser and pack a bag to be ready to leave when needed. That would be so irresponsible and putting them in danger should they wish to follow this advice. But if I read a post about abuse and I do not find out that its a kid (and sometimes you cannot tell as some kids write very well and are very mature in their expression) I may write that. SO - all I am saying when you respond, take that into account.

Hope you have a lovely day

((ty)))) (((Tatyana2009)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Its hard being a parent these days. So much out there, They can register at any site and put what ever age they choose. Kids do not always make the wisest choices. I know my son has not always.
Its up to us adults to be responsable to a degree. Thats where COPPA helps some with the net.
They read they explore ,..... its hard, Even with TV.
I have read posts from as young as 13.
May everyone stay safe as always my best wishes to all.
(((((you matter)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[turquoisesea]

Thank you for this piece of advice