I don't know!! :'(

I'm so angered, and saddened, overwhelmed, and gosh, TOO MANY emotions.
I've trigged SI only a little, I'm a (now) former scratcher. but i couldn't do it. i threw that thing that i used to the ground, away from me bc of anger. but still, i'm so frustrated, i don't know what i can do now.

i'm so mad. i don't know what to do. for the first time in a good while, i'm having a trig SU.

i feel like i'm done talking to people. i feel so unappreciated.

literally this is what i feel like right now:

Why do you feel unappreciated?

Hi Byz, I feel unappreciated bc there was a play in my school that I was involved in (stage crew) and my parents didn't say anything to me. No "good job" or anything like that. The set and play itself were both very good. But no. Nothing.
Something came up this weekend, nothing like a death in the family, but neither person could say anything to me. They couldn't spare a few seconds to say something. I ended up getting into an argument w/ my mom.

I argue so much with her that I think she's just bringing me down. Arguing makes me feel like s**t. I don't spend much time with my father either but he's a good person..

Anyway, sometimes I just can't connect with people and I feel left out. I'm trying to fit in, but it feels so weird. I'm pretty depressed about it. It even made me trig SU.

I feel that nobody cares. I don't care if someone says that they do because they really don't, or they'll just forget about me one day.

im sorry people don't apreciate you, for what its worth i think you are a very valuable person.

Thanks d&d. I don't know what to say. I'm sometimes acknowledged by others, and i don't get into much of a conversation with anyone anyway. i feel like crap. i can never be like anyone else and have a good relationship with ANYONE. my life is **** ALREADY. I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE SAYING THIS.

if you don't mind my asking how old are you?
im 14 and i know how brutal highschool can be, i haven't got a single good friend at school. i spend every free moment on here so im not alone. its rough

i'm not really one to say my age.. but are you a frosh? if so, then hang on.. i feel your pain.

i don't think age would pertain to this, but yeah, hs can be crap.
i have good friends though, it's just- i never feel that i get any recognition. i don't get paid attention to.

now, every single time i'm just jumping to another topic bc now i don't think whatever i have to say is important.

my importance drifts away and i will drift away soon as well. tell me someone, who will care?

alright i respect that, and yeah im a frosh....fun fun fun
if people don't apreciate you, they don't deserve to know you. you are a unique person and as a result you are pretty damn awesome. what you think and say is important and i hope people start seeing that, and for what its worth i care.

then i suppose nobody needs to know me. i'm sorry i'm negative but idc. i never have a good relationship with anyone. never. it doesn't work out to how i want it to be..

but thanks d&d. thank you, thank you, thank you! you're a good person. and try to survive frosh year! for me, it was emotionally tough, but it made me a little stronger. it will for you too.

bleh frosh year is a pain but its not anything i can't handle, aside from crap loads of homework and a few "gangstas", wanna bes and dumb asses its a cake walk lol....

but ive learned that relatoinships never go the way we want and that we have to try to make them work, you know what i mean? you will find a good friend i promise. i thought i would be alone and then i ran into my best friend in the most random way.

i really hope it gets better, you will end up getting into good relationships. one thing i did when i thought my friends weren't acknowledging my achievements is i asked them why they weren't. or i would just casually bring it up.

i really hope things get better for you man, i truely do.

AH. that sounds like frosh year alright. some wanna stand out to much.. :P
i think if i slept well, i could have had a better year..seriously..i always regret not having enough sleep.

well, like i said, i do have good friends, but it's tough. i can't act like myself. i have to act "normally" around them to be accepted a bit more..ugh, that's how it goes..
thanks so much though.

hmm. that sounds good. but lol, the worst offenders are my parents unfortunatly. i'll never get acknowleged.

d&d, you're the best.

yeah the sleep is killin me, thank god for energy drinks lol.
but ya kno your friends should accept you for you, and they will. i was the same way and i was miserable but i decided to open up and they still accepted me.

and i can definately sympathize with the parent part.. my parents are well.."100 pssh why didn't u get the extra credit".....

and no problem man, im here for you

lol, energy drinks
i think i can't be myself. i'm not open enough and i've never been. the only way i'll be accepted is if i change, and i guess i gotta do it because it's definitly working..

oh wow, they're really like that? *sigh* my parents just don't care like that anymore, which is good bc there's not as much pressure, but at the same time, i feel ignored. i mean, seriously. i hear nothing from them unless i remind them about something.

my dad doesn't give me a damn unless i really need it, my mom always argues with me and says that i'm the argumentative one. i don't like her the most. she's not very nice. but come to think of it, on my last bday, my dad never even said happy birthday to me until 9pm, and it was a text message! he was home for a couple of hours too. ugh. i don't think he thinks i'm pretty either. his side is full of pretty people, but then there's me. a messy person. i felt pretty before but now i'm feeling like nothing. it's so true, i'm not pretty, and i'm only pretty when i take time and work on my look. i was told once by someone that i needed to fix my face. it was a semi-joke. i wouldn't have been that mean, but it's true. so damn true.

forget it, i don't have a favorite parent. they just don't give too much a damn about anything important.

sorry for rambling. thanks d&d..

hey man don't worry about it, im here to listen.
that's pretty messed up.. no offense but they sound like dicks.
i really hope it gets better
(sorry for the short post i only have a moment before my next class starts)

thanks d&d, i appreciate you helping me out even when your in school. ;P you didn't have to do that, but thanks for caring!

it's alright. they can be like that but there's always that one moment when they're ok kinda people. i think they'll only care if i get hurt. and when that happens, i won't want them around me.

have fun in class & enjoy the rest of your day! i decided to stay home today. lol, i haven't been sick this year, but i didn't finish my homework. oh well. today's my catch up day, i gotta get a lot of work done myself...ugh. when can i stop stressing over work already and just do it? :\

How is the doing doing, opaque?

Ok I suppose..thanks Byz. My day is stressful, making me anxious, but gradually better. But still.....

I know how you feel, too well. If you need someone to talk to, pm me

Thanks despair, I'll keep that in mind.
(and welcome to PC! )

((((((Opaque))))) You're in my thoughts, love. Hang in there.

Thanks TSU..I'll try my best...

Hi Opaque! You know this technique that you have ^ will just get you further and further away from who you really are. How about trying to be yourself and finding friends who can appreciate that?

Have you ever told your parents that you want a better relationship with them?

I know that it takes 2 to fight and I know that your mom is the adult and she should know better but you can change this too by refusing to argue with her. Keep your attitude in check and stay calm without getting angry or mad and you won't fight. Please discuss with your mom, though!!!