My Poetry (trigger)

Someone asked me to post my poems. I don't think they are appropriate for the creative croner so I'm putting them here. They are all about cutting. They are all in the order that I wrote them, and I know some of them are really lame. This is the first time anyone has seen these poems. Also know that even though some of these suggest suicidal thoughts, I'm not planning on it so please don't take it that way.

Pain is all that I feel here
No happiness, little fear
Take a risk, just a slice
A little pain will feel nice
Watch the blood slowly drip
Touch the blood to my lip
Tastes so good
Like it should
Thick and pure
What a cure
For now, the pain I lack
But tomorrow it will be back
Again, the cycle will start
Hurting me and breaking my heart

###

My happiness so far away
No want to see another day
Yet here it comes once again
Another day to cut my skin
The scars become more and more
Cleaning them becomes a chore
The pain rarely does subside
Along with it goes my pride
All I can do is give in
Always knowing I can’t win

###

Always crying
I keep trying
My soul dying
Still lying

###

Oh blade my sweet bliss
Fast and deep I slit my wrist
Nothing will I miss

###

I count on no one
They all betray
So in my bed
Here I lay
Looking down
At the knife
For I know
It can ease my strife
So simple
Yet hard to do
For I know
It hurts you too
The cravings
They’re getting strong
I want to give in
But I know it’s wrong
I care for you
And don’t want to cause you pain
But how long
Will this feeling remain
My heart is beating
Faster and faster
The pain can subside
But only after
I finally give in
And damage done
To not only me
But to everyone
Your friendship
Is worth much more
Than anything
I’ve come across before
But how much
It’s hard to tell
Will this ruin our friendship
If so farewell

###

Oh sweet bliss, come back to me
Come take away this misery
Please help, just a little pain
The blood is starting to stain
Yet nothing I feel
Will the wounds ever heal
I’m becoming so numb
Why won’t the pain just come.
Deeper and deeper I go
Till I feel the pain that I love and know

###

It's been so long
This lonely night
Thinking about
What is right
I know I shouldn't
Do I dare
It's just a little
Tiny tare
It doesn't hurt
As much as you think
It just takes a second
In one blink
If only I could
Stop with one
But now the pattern
Has begun
I must continue
And finish it now
Then I stop
And wonder how
How I had done
More and more
Not realizing all
The blood on the floor
I wash it off
Leaving a stain
Watching most of it
Go down the drain
Knowing tomorrow
I will start anew
And more blood
Will ensue

###

I hope you guys liked them. These ones are all mine, but I do like to read ones other people write.

I like these poems because they really capture your mood. I feel instinctly sad for you and your suffering, and the poems really reflect that. The poems themselves are not bad. Misery can be expressed in a manner of art and become something fullly different.

Ickydog,

You really capture the love hate relationship one has with SI, and the dreamlike reality of it all.

You need to keep writing. I'd much rather see you put your pain on paper...

((( HUGS )))

Petunia

The last one I wrote today, and here is another one.

I have this guy
That I know well
He is so sweet
And I want to tell
Him how much pain
I’ve been through
And that I don’t want
To hurt him too
I wish I could reveal
This side of me
So that it is all of me
That he will see
But I am scared
That he will leave
Me all alone
Here to grieve
I don’t want him
To run and hide
I just want someone
By my side
Is that really
So much to ask
Is that that hard
Of a task
Please don’t come
Break my heart
Tear it to shreads
Rip it apart
Like everyone else
Has done before
Leaving me here
On the floor
To do what it was
That scared you so
How can you leave
Since you know
That here I will be
Watching my blood
Till down on the ground
I will thud
Falling into a
Deep, deep sleep
Waking only to
Cry and weep

I'm in a poetic mood. Sorry guys to disappoint

I lay here licking
The blood from my cut
As it tries
To heal itself shut
I forgot how good
A fresh blade feels
And how it felt
As the skin seals
Leaving but
A thin red line
Not really one
Closer to nine
It still doesn’t
Bleed enough
My skin has gotten
Rather tough
Oh how I missed it
My sweet bliss
More than I longed
For a sweet kiss
The blood is all gone
I want more
I know I should
Let this heal before
I start to carve
Once again
Digging into
My smooth skin
Resuming the trend
I cannot leave
It makes me happy
Yet leaves me to grieve
I cannot wait
To leave the world behind
And escape to the blackness
Of my mind

Your writings are painfully beautiful. Reading your poems, makes me feel the reflection of me. Thanks for the good read.