Trust *Trig - SH*

This is a very difficult thing for me.
It just, dosnt seem to happen
Somehow talking on here, where no-one really knows me helps a little.
Every time I think of this occasion it hurts, but not a pain i can control or feel, its all in my head. and every time i feel it i grab my knife and slice away because they hurt me SO much. I put trust in them, i believed in them, i "supported" them. And they where a complete fake.
What do i do... I dont know
I just need that release.. to stop me killing myself from the pain..
wow.. this is pathetic.

I am sorry you are struggling so much. It can be so difficult when the pain is so great inside. Maybe you can find some other ways to cope that are not harming your body. There are suggestions at the top of the forum. Do you have anyone to talk to? A therapist? Sometimes it can help to have someone to talk things through. I am glad posting here helps too. Please try and be safe.

BB

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. Bipolar_Bear is right. The stickies at the top of the forum have good ideas. Keep coming here to express how you are feeling. We are listening.

Most of the time its a mix of a "whole lot of nothing" and other times its like a ton of bricks have fallen on my brain.. I dont know quite how to describe it..
I should get a gold medal for talking garbage that dosn't make sense..

((((((((((ACQPL))))))))))))

You'd have to compete for that gold in "mindless garbage". I more often than not have no idea how the heck to even remotely describe what I'm feeling in a way that makes any sense.

Sounds to me like you were hurt very deeply in a way you couldn't control and so now whenever you think about it, you feel the urge to hurt in a way you can see and control? That doesn't sound like garbage at all.

Keep on talking if it helps. Every so often, I manage to get something worthwhile out there, and that helps ease a little bit of the tension and the hurt. Maybe it could help you too?

Yeah.. mostly spot on there, yeah, i think it does.. i dont know.. it stops how much i hurt, not sure if its in a good way or not. suppose i'll find out..
Thankyou for your input. I appreciate it.

You are very, very welcome

I hope things get better for you soon.

Urgh, taken a turn for the worse today.. meant to be getting home so that I can get back into life and all, turns out my flight was cancelled due to Icelandic volcano stuff.. Now I feel horrible. Lovely. I know they cant do anything about it, but i feel like mother nature herself is laughing at me..

I'm sorry your day did not go well. Hopefully you will be able to travel soon.

I don't know what the ---- to say, but just so you know, dude, I read that and I do give a ----. I can assure you, I know EXACTLY how that feels (your initial post) and some. You're not alone, mate.