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#1
Apr 22, 2010, 10:04 PM
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Trigger warning.........
I didn't tell T.  I haven't told anyone. Not about what I did the other night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might get. But session was so bad today I couldn't tell her. I have to start over again after four years. But the tension of fighting the urge is gone. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I wish I could do it again.  But really the blade wasn't sharp enough.
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#2
Apr 23, 2010, 10:08 AM
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 Why was the session so bad?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 googley
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#3
Apr 23, 2010, 09:56 PM
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(((((((googley)))))))
You don't have to start over, what you most have to do is forgive yourself and figure out what caused this episode. Then next time it happens again you will be stronger and better prepared to deal with the urges in a constructive manner. Start the clock again, but you don't have to go back to the beginning. You've learned something from this and are wiser even if you don't feel like it now. Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts for continued healing. slow
__________________
"Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you." Rumi "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Carl Rogers |
| googley
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#4
Apr 24, 2010, 01:20 PM
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Move forward. First get rid of the blade and don't get a new one. And tell your therapist, that is what a therapist is for..
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
| googley
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#5
Apr 24, 2010, 01:41 PM
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Quote:
 That's the problem...
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#6
Apr 24, 2010, 09:26 PM
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((((((googley)))))
You want to keep the blade, but you know you shouldn't. My advice is to wrap it up in a cloth with about 100 rubber bands over the top of that, then put it in the farthest back part of your house under several things. That way you have it if you need it, but by the time you get to it, you may have thought twice about using it. It's just a suggestion and may not work for you, but please think about it. I really want you to be safe, and you deserve good things to happen.
__________________
"Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you." Rumi "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Carl Rogers |
| googley
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#7
Apr 24, 2010, 10:16 PM
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Maybe I'll give it to T when I see her this week.
 Or next week after we repair our rupture.
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