Reasons Not To

I think it's time we had a thread of reasons not to do it. We have a thread of other things to do, so we need Reasons Why You Shouldn't SI

Ok, Hmm..... reasons why not to?
1. Infections
2. Scars
3. Loss of blood
4. Friends and family around you get hurt
5. Death or hospital
6. Waste of time
7. Stealing (Like sharp objects that don't belong to you)
8. It's not easy to hide self harming
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"Take care of your body and your body will take care of YOU."

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reasons you should not.....

1. it is addicting
2. main one is you end up feeling worse and have to do it more to because of the shame and guilt over it.

That's a great idea! Anyone mind if we make it sticky?

For myself, I think that my main reason not to SI is still because I don't want to disappoint T. She told me that if I went home and cut, I would undo all of the work that we had done. I don't like that idea much.

Other than that, I try to remember that SI doesn't fix anything. It avoids dealing with it for a little while, and creates bigger problems that I'll have to deal with eventually.

Looking forward to the rest of your ideas.

Ok, my main reason not to is that it would let down a lot of people who trust me, and it would break that trust, and I would hate that. So... to keep trust.

The reason I haven't cut in awhile is because it doesn't solve the problem. When I'd cut, it take my focus off the emotional pain and focus it on the physical pain. After the physical pain left, the emotional pain was still there and I had to deal with it. I've learned it's best to deal with the problem when it occurs rather than scar your body up over something that won't be a permanant fix.

Emotional pain -> Physical pain-> Emotional pain [repeat]
It's a horrible circle repeating non stop.

Just remember when self harming your not just hurting yourself, but also others around you!

It's not good for you...

Keep up the reasoning guys.

my kids would see my new marks and I would not be able to tell her why.. I would be ashamed of myself ..

I would have to tell my 3 year old why mommie could not pick her up

It's isn't that much fun and makes you feel much worse.

I love that this thread is here. in the past i put simular ones on two other websites and on one it really took off, and the other continues in spurts.
One of my reasons is that if I continue my abuser wins. he felt all I was worth was to be his object to hurt and so on, my hurting myself is giving him what he wanted.

That is a good point. Why should you have to have to hurt yourself because somebody hurt you?

(which is a big one for me - I think I'll show them, but when you really think about it, does it make sense that you were hurt so now you should be hurt more?)

Reasons not to SI:
It's addicting
The scars don't go away
Your kids will be confused (mine are)
Your marriage could end ( mine did)
You could lose custody of your kids (I did)
It's much harder to date with scars that are hard to hide
Even if you overcome what drove you to SI you still have the scars
Your body is a gift. It's not very nice to reject that gift by abusing it.
You become an easy target for people to judge you
You have to listen to docs lecture you while being stitched.
The ambulance, and cops can show up at your house in minutes and humilliate you in front of your whole neighborhood
It's one step closer to suicide
The devil will laugh at you
It's easier to hate yourself
If your kids catch you they will be traumatized and they will never forget it

[[[[[[[[[[[[Tamzinrose]]]]]]]]]]]

I think you have a fantastic idea!!!

The problem with this forum; is it seems like it's a "fad" for a week or so & then "poof" everyone's gone. I didn't appreciate that they cut my thread; but I don't understand a lot of things they do around here...despite guidelines.....

But I think that a #1 Reason of WHY NOT to SI would be SCARS

For most of us, it's summer -- cannot cover "those scars"

SI-ing in intimate areas b/c they don't show, how are you going to explain them to your partner.....better yet --

Doctors -- There's a huge anti-stigma movement going on --
but there is very little info/help/stories of mistreatment like in ER's of SI ers

How can I ever go back to nursing? The most recent cuts have me running a fever b/c I don't want to go to a doctor b/c of how I've been treated in the past (even w/ the nursing creditials)--if you're an SI-er -- you could be the Pope -- you're still treated like dirt!!

Would ANYONE help me go up to bat as a spokesman for SIers?
If not, I'll stay in my apt. & hide like the rest of you get infections and die w/o a reason/reason/purpose.
Think about........my body can't take this & they just a small tumor near my eye orbital/brain area...I haven't had a good summer.

Reason #2: Unsanitary/Infections=fevers=hospitalization


How's that for a starting?
DAYZEE9

Thank you dayzee and thanks everyone else. *HUGS* to all of you. Thanks for sharing.
dayzee, I think you're probably right. I think a lot of people on here would agree with you. I wouldn't really know though, because I've never had medical treatment, mainly because I'm scared of people's reactions. So yeah, dayzee. You're right. And that's not a good thing...

But...to be totally honest, I don't really see a problem with SI for me at the moment. So I retract my reasons against it.

Reasons not to - interesting thread - happens to be my homework from my T this week also - so let's see --

The scars - I agree, that's a biggy

Shame - I would feel awful if my kids knew, I feel like others look down on us for it - why do something you are definitely NOT proud of - doesn't seem a healthy choice

Not a healthy way to cope - hope to be a therapist someday, wouldn't want to think that's how my T copes

Addiction - do I want to be addicted to anything? It's not any different from being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or overeating. An addiction is an addiction. Don't want to give my life over to that.

Abuse - As someone else pointed out, why continue? why take over where your abuser left off? If I give in to abusing myself, I'm suggesting that his view of my selfworth was right. I don't want to give him that.

Cycling - it was suggested that si fuels my depression which fuels my si - I need to break the cycle in order to feel better about myself and get out of this rut. I definitely want to stop feeling the way I do right now. I don't know how much longer I can last feeling this way. If stopping can change this feeling, then it would be worth it.

That's all I can think of right now. It has helped though. I guess I'll have to keep looking at this post and remembering what I'm working for. Thanks, Quay

Thank you too. Twas good posting.

-Because when you can say (and BELIEVE) that you are strong enough to not cut, it will feel way better than cutting ever did.

At the moment, I have a new reason not to cut. And that new reason is that I am so scared of starting over from the beginning...I mean, it's been a month, and I can say now "It's been a month since I last cut" and the idea that if I cut I'd have to go back to "It's been an hour since I last cut"...ugh it scares me.

Good for you, tamzin!

I've been about a month without reaching for something to hurt myself with too.
My reason for not - it shows me that I have some strength in me still that I can resist the urge. Dunno if that makes sense to anyone else.

Caroline

It makes sense to me. Resisting when you want to hurt yourself shows more strength, and develops more strength. The more you resist, the healthier you will be and the more able to find better solutions to what is bothering you.

my reason : vanity lol.
i want to go swimming this summer.. i want to show my legs and i want to look like a woman, not a mess of scars.
i havent SI'ed in over a week, so theres a start

~M

I was just about to post here when I went back, reread kendalika's post and realised it was almost identical to what I had written. So just to re-emphasise some of what (she) said:-
* it's addicting. Even if you stop for a time, you may not have overcome it
* the scars don't go away. That is a HUGE prob for me; I am really self-concious and totally embarrassed of them
* your kids will be confused (mine aren't yet, although they have seen all my scars and no2 has to watch as they are dressed and treated when necessary)
* your marriage could end (well, mine just has with my husband citing that my SIing is too much for him- totally NOT the reason we have split but degrading and humiliating for me)
* it is much harder to date with scars that are hard to hide (a fear that looks like it may well come true)
* and for me, now I don't even feel the physical pain (considering I do it to 'feel' the emotional pain it kinda makes the whole process pointless!). I just dissociate, without trying or meaning to, when I SI so I often don't realise I have hurt myself til afterwards and in my latest instance I have needed stitches and now for 'it' to be dressed every 2nd day due to the deepness and infection (I did it 3 weeks ago; the only memory I have of it is the horrible flashbacks when I was at the deepest point)
I don't ever want to see anyone else doing this to themselves, much less my chn, and I wish they didn't have to see the reality of it every day. One day I will break this awful addiction, I just wish I could today...