Reasons Not To

because feeling good for a little bit is not worth a lifetime of scars and lies that accompany them.

1. It makes me feel worse than I already feel
2. It scares the people who really care about me
3. It scares ME, because it makes me realize what I'm capable of. If I'm capable of SI...
4. Its messy if you cut deep, and it can leave a scar

I know this thread is old, but I've been gone a long time

I wrote these reasons not to si a long time ago, when I was trying to convince myself I wanted to quit.

I know that many of these reasons are hard to believe or internalize, but I hope this lists helps someone. Take it one day at a time...

It brings as many bad feelings as it chases away

You have hurt enough

Protecting the child inside you, who is already wounded

Self-injury makes relationships with others harder: it isolates you, may make you feel ashamed and/or feel the need to be secretive or push others away

You need to be able to experience your feelings in order to learn to cope effectively, and recover

Feeling worse about yourself after you're past the si incident

You do not need to have cuts or scars to prove it: your pain IS REAL

You do not deserve to be punished

You have a right to your feelings, and you have been denied that right for too long already

Avoiding si can help you learn to feel safe with yourself. You deserve to feel safe

You can rely on your higher power, whatever/whoever that may be to love and protect you. And you will feel that security and safety even more when you are not being self-destructive

Self-injury is a "quick-fix" that really doesn't fix the problem, only distracts from it temporarily

Real healing is possible for you, even though sometimes that is hard to believe

Why because it can cut veins which are made of a thick collegian coating and there is only so much collegian in your body and collegian also helps fight off fat and keep muscle.

Why I never want to do it again - (maybe I won't)

1) Dignity - When I SI I attack my own dignity and make myself feel worse and less worthy (of love and attention, which everyone deserves)

2) Self-respect - Losing respect for myself and my inability to stop would destroy whatever shred of self-esteem I have left

3) Questionning - Hiding scars from people is hard (I use a manual wheelchair and I have to push up my sleeves to wheel places so they don't get dirty - This is how a few of my friends found out about my SIng)

4) Love - How can I say I love myself when I physically attack myself? I have problems with trying to love myself already, why do I want to make it harder for me?

So this is my small list of why I have to continue to fight to not return to self-injuring.

Hope it works.

I haven't SI d since Aug 8th 2004. I now have a couple of personal reasons not to SI that I wanted to share.

Reason #1: I have my family back. My wife could see that I was getting better and asked me to re-marry her. My four kids have been happier over the last five months than I have ever know them to be. Their mom and dad are together again.

Reason #2: I don't want to lose my family again. I understand that I might someday slip, but I no longer feel the emptiness that lead me to SI in the past.

Reason #3: I want to continue to be the father I've been since I've stopped acting out.

Reason #4: I don't hate myself anymore. If I don't SI I won't hate myself again.

Reason #5: I have enough scars. I don't need anymore.

Reason #6: I don't want to be sorry for cutting myself, driving me to cut again and again.

Reason #7: I'm happy.

BECAUE I WANT TO GET OUT of the bad feeling and NOT to make it worse
let`s admit-it`s OUR CHOICE!
our concious choice to do so!

so it depends on us more than we sometime sthink..you know,,, when you feel"i can`t take it" and do it....
we know it is veru addictive and that we can`t

we should really DECIDE we want a way OUT
untill we don`t decide we just sit there, burried in our self pitty and hurt ourselves.

i hope my post doesn`t look judgmnetal and nlunt-it may be somewhat blunt but that is waht i strongly believe in...

i know there are VERY hard cases when people lose control over themselves.
i personally recomend to all the guys who do it over and again to go find a good psychologist.

peace!

I like this idea. I am glad you thought of it. Some of my reasons to list.

I don't want my daughter asking about boo boos on my body.

I want to become a therapist to help others who SI and I can't preach what I dont do myself.

I am a wonderful caring individual who deservers respect from others as well as myself. (Not sure I typed what I mean)

My husband loves me and he deserves to not have to constantly worry about me.

Have not SI in sooo long and want to keep up the work
I know if I SI just once it will bring back the old feelings and addictions and I will start up again.

For me why SI if I know it is only a temporary fix to my emotional problems and I will see the SI later and feel more bad feelings for doing it. I could do something fun like paint.

1. I dserve better than harming myself.

2.Not harming myself breaks the abuse cycle-my abuser hurt me back when I was little and had no choice, but now I can stop the abuse by no longer harming myself.

3.Self harm is the voice of my perpetrator saying I am no good. If I harm myself, then part of my is agreeing with my perpetrator.

4.If I don't harm myself, then I know the pain I feel isn't my fault.

5.If I harm myself, the pain from it will become confusd with the pain which my abuser caused me. I don't want to be confused about who caused my pain.

6.I don't want to have to blame myself for hurting myself. Blame belongs to my abuser, not me.

Now if only I could practice what I preach.......

Y'all hit on them. For scars, loss of blood and stuff. I guess my main reason is that I want to work with kids and teens.

Thank you ALL for sharing your thoughts. By reading your reasons NOT to SI, you've helped me again! I wish each and every one of you could see what I see ... <u>survivors.</u> Strong people who have survived horrors I can only imagine, who are always ready to lend a hand to others even when fighting your own demons, who are willing to bare your souls because you <u>deserve</u> to be better than SI and you <u>deserve</u> to put your past where it should be and you <u>deserve</u> to be happy! You ARE survivors and I'm in awe of your strength.

I want you to know that I've read all your posts, even copied some things to discuss with my daughter next time the terrible urges to cut are so violent in her that she reaches out to her mother for help. Thank GOD she's comfortable enough ... now ... to do that!

I wish you all continued determination to stay strong, to NOT let your abusers win! See the face in your mirror? That's YOU and YOU survived.

God bless you ALL! Thanks to you, I'm learning to be a

GoodMama

ok...here goes...the reason not to self injure <font color="purple"> </font>(even though right now i want to) is because truth be told i am tired of being stuck in the past... and even though right now all the other reasons put aside... i want to get past this all this hurt and heal... si is the bridge that keeps me connected to the all the pain... i use it to keep from having to look at and remember or deal with the past and the present (because that is what i know how to do)... and until i am willing to look at and deal with the pain (and learn new ways of coping) i only delay the healing and have to keep replaying the hurt... and i guess in the long run... in reality... makes it all more hurtful...grrrrr... right now i would have really liked to figured out why it's ok to si

reason that affects me most:

my future kid: mommy what are those marks onyour arms?

me: erm, nothing dear.

my kid as a teen: well its ok for me to do it mom, you do it too.

guy i date: what the F*** are those?!

me: erm. nothn. sorry.

friends: how bout we go to the beach?

me: erm, no sorry cant, i, im on.

friends: your always on...

im screwed.
i really am

these scripts are the ones that played in my head when i thought about the future.

what the hell do i do about the scars already there.

how do i do the job i wish to get without triggering my own patients? wow
erm
erm
erm

so much to think about so many excuses. so much lying.

i want to love me.
noone will love me till i love me.
bah

Well......I NEVER discuss this at all. But I will add a reason to the list. The emotional reasons "NOT TO" get discussed a lot. The possible physical outcomes do not.

Infection.....Horrible Pain....Life Threatening.....Terrible Scars

I cut my inner elbow badly one evening. For the next few days, it got redder & redder. I started to run a fever and felt sick. I finally went to my doctor. I told him and others that I had done it accidentally. I ended up in the hopital for 10 days. Part of this in the ICU. The rest in isolation. I had gotten a staph/cellulitis infection. It got in my bloodstream. I became septic. My kidneys started to shut down. I had to go to surgery every other day for days to have more tissue cut away. They would leave the wound open with drains. Tons of IV antibiotics. Even a pain pump full of dilaudid did not give me full relief or let me sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Misery. GUILT.........so much guilt.

I am being descriptive because this is the real story. It's scary & ugly. I had to endure a whole summer of physical therapy to get the function of my arm & hand back. I have a large chunk of the crook in my arm gone from the surgery to cut away the dead tissue. I will have this mutilated reminder to look at every day for the rest of my life.

Please think about this. I still want to SI lots of times. I have slipped a few even after almost dying. It's a powerful problem. I AM getting help and I AM getting better at knowing when I am at risk and what to do when that happens. Treat it seriously and work on it seriously.

tulips

1. I see how it hurts my husband as well as myself and i do not want to hurt either one of us anymore.
2.I am tired of the continuous circle of Self harming and hating myself for doing so i do it again.
3.I do not want any more scars
4.When i visit my baby sister i do not like the look she has on her face when she asks me, "sissy what happened" she is older now and she can see through the lies.

hugs and love to all of you!!!!

I have only one main reason... that it upsets people. Especially those around you who love you so much, I try and put myself in their shoes sometimes...

and its not nice

babyg xxx

I'd like to add another...

Because I have got to know some people in here and NONE of you deserve to suffer like this....

Your all great people x X x X x

Well thanks for posting these some of us really needed these.
Liz

Well the reason I THOUGHT of before I went ahead and did it anyway was the fact that I finally found a really nice bathing suit that I feel comfortable wearing and if I cut where I was thinking that I then could not wear my nice new bathing suit for a while.

Well, its going to be a while now so if anything at least it pissed me off enough that I will remember this next time.

i think mostly because after i cant trust myself not to do it anymore... and it really hurts your friends and family...

i found all this very help full... thank you for posting this...

Very hard to socialise (can't go swimming, can't go gym etc)

Hmm...it's not THAT hard to hide...lol

But yes, it may hurt those around you...or, in my case, laugh and mock. lol

ok...here goes...the reason not to self injure (even though right now i want to) is because truth be told i am tired of being stuck in the past... and even though right now all the other reasons put aside... i want to get past this all this hurt and heal... si is the bridge that keeps me connected to the all the pain... i use it to keep from having to look at and remember or deal with the past and the present (because that is what i know how to do)... and until i am willing to look at and deal with the pain (and learn new ways of coping) i only delay the healing and have to keep replaying the hurt... and i guess in the long run... in reality... makes it all more hurtful...grrrrr... right now i would have really liked to figured out why it's ok to si ...lyn

- it's very addicting.[ longer you do it, the larger & deeper cuts get]
- leaves nasty scars.
- hurts family & friends to see you do it; and seeing the scars resulting after.
- gives other self-harmers ideas when exposed. [atleast for me seeing others; made me want to do it more] so save yourself & others!
- usually if parents find out, you'll get thrown in the pshyc ward; not fun. [all depends on you're parents decisions what to do with you though]
- after you do get over it; the scars you'll see everyday will remind you of it & can be triggering to start it all over again. plus you'll have major regret of doing it in the first place.
- other people [non self-harmers] usually non-understanding b a s t a r d s, will have the tendency to make cruel jokes about you & say you are weak. which in the end will make you feel like S H I T & want to cut, cut , cut. [ i have had a good dose of people make fun of me & give me very harsh speeches, even blaming me for their daughters self-harm. complete B U L L S H I T. [sorry for all the cussing. this is just a touchy subject for me & i would like you to understand how much it angers me!]
- people will assume you are unable to control yourself & are unstable. [again, the judgement].
- having to wear sweatshirts & jeans to cover cuts & scars.