...give everyone a sign so they know I am bad and they should keep away from me.
I want to make marks upp and down my arms so they know.
I deserve to hurt and it is so hard not to do this tomyself right now.
I don't know what to do.
Everyone needs a sign to show that they should keep away from me.
I tried to do it but I am too scared, too much of a coward.
I don't want to feel like this any more.
The bad one

[Miss_A]

I don't believe your 100% bad and I will keep away from you if you want me too after this one post. I have made marks before my parents do not know so they won't get hurt. But still I've stopped thats the important thing. You deserve to love and it can get easier getting rid of the emeny as I call it the object your using to do this with yourself. Scared is ok, coward is fine too. If your not sure why do it at all? Your not the bad one or good one at all. Just yourself... I not sure what you are trying to say. But it sounds like to me, you want to cut but not sure. If I was you I wouldn't do it, because then I know that I will feel worse after... =(

[shadowdancer]

here i will make you a sign. this is what it will say:

I am Caroline. Parts of me are fun and silly. Parts of me are far too serious to be so small. Parts of me are scared and lonely. Parts of me are justifiably angry. NONE OF ME IS BAD. I sometimes forget that I am strong and brave and sweet and kind and helpful. I sometimes forget that anger is okay when used correctly. It is hard for me to understand why I have friends here on PC even though they know I am deserving and worthy of friendship. Please remind me. Perhaps if I hear it enough, I can start to believe it myself.

there. there is you a sign. (((((((caroline))))))))

-shadow

ps you are many good things. you are deserving and worthy of friendship...just a reminder

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[caroline}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[BamaSurvivor]

((((((((((Caroline))))))))))

I've often times felt that way. Felt as if I needed a big sign around me that said, "Don't come near me. I'm bad news.", but we're not bad news. We're not bad people. We're HUMAN. We make mistakes, we have emotions that often times hurt. We sometimes act in anger towards some of lifes situations and sometimes we're happy, joyous, and free. It's just part of life. Personally, I think you should step away from the blade and try your best not to harm yourself. We're here if you need us, we care.

Thank you MIss A.

Part of me wants to say "keep away from me" but another part doesn't.

I can't keep any marks from my husband or from my children and I mustn't scare or worry them.

I feel bad even though I know other people don't think I am. Some people think I am bad though. MAybe they are right. That is what scares me.

I have kept safe, and the new meds my dr has given me today are helping me - I don't want to hurt myself at the moment.

Thank you for replying and for caring.

Caroline

Thank you shadow.

I'm going to put your sign in my journal so that I can see it and remember it.

I'm not going to hurt myself.

Please look after yourself. I don't think you know how special you are.

((((((((((((Shadow)))))))))

Caroline

Thank you, hope. Hugs help.

Caroline

I'm sorry you have felt that way too, Bamasurvivor.

I don't think anyone else should feel it.

I'm not sure even I should feel it.

My Gp has given me some more meds, different ones. I'm a bit scared about them but I promised I would take them so I have because I trust him. I'm feeling safer now and I am not going to hurt myself. I will keep on trying to step away. Thank you for reminding me that people care.

Caroline

[Fuzzybear]

I am glad your new meds are helping and that you don't want to hurt yourself at the moment. Stay safe, you are special!
((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))

Fuzzy, I have to smile every time I see your bear. She cheers me up.

Thank you for your message and the hugs.

(((((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))

Caroline

[BamaSurvivor]

Meds can work miracles if we take them as prescribed and they hit the receptors and parts of the brain it should. I'm so glad yours is working well for you. (((((Caroline))))) Hope things continue to get better.

[Miss_A]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Caroline said: Fuzzy, I have to smile every time I see your bear. She cheers me up.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

with that. Fuzzy thank you for your bear picture always makes my day.

Thank you Bama.

This new med is to tackle the anxiety. I was worried because it is also used to treat other MIs, but my GP told me he didn't believe I had any of them, just that it would work on the anxiety I have now. Now I have taken it I am starting to realise how anxious and wound up I was. So I am still scared but glad it seems to be working. I feel very very tired, though, and hope I will not feel this tired tomorrow.
Thank you.
Caroline

[tamzinrose]

You're not bad. You're lovely. You've helped me. And you cared. You care about other people and you've never even met them and you're not likely to ever meet them, but you care anyway. Because you are a good person.

Thank you tamzin. You are so kind. I'm really glad if what I did helped in any way. I find it hard to believe, but I will try to!

Caroline

[tamzinrose]

You should believe it. People here really like you, as far as I can tell. People here love and respect you, and you obviously deserve it.