[inkblot]

I had a little anxiety this morning and didn't really feel like going into work. I did go into work today, but a few hours late. I did the deed on the way in and what do you know, I had to get stitches so I turned around. The cut look really cool! (That is, if you are into the gross stuff like me. I went in. There is no way that would have healed properly without stitches. I actually called my T and left a voice mail on his pager that I did it and what it looked like, and that I thought it looked *so cool*. I took pictures with my digital camera, too. Anyway, I heard the nurse estimate the size to be 4 centimeters, and the nurse practicioner who did the stitches put in 6 of them. In my opinion, I think it could have used one more. Got a long 2 weeks from yesterday until I see my T again, thanks to the holiday next week.

[jetblackaura]

((((Inky)))

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{inky}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[inkblot]

Thanks, guys. I didn't tell the hospital the exact truth in how it happened. I have to wonder still if they can tell at all? I told them that I was cutting a box with a razor blade. Well, I was cutting with a razor blade, just not a box.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((inky)))))))))))))))))

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((((( Inky ))))))))))))))))))

[jbug]

(((((((inkster))))))))) I am scared for you that you think it looks cool and that you took pics of it with your phone. Are you proud of what you did? Don't get me wrong if you do you do but I'm still concerned.

Jbug

[inkblot]

I have a medical background, so I have always thought stuff like that looks cool. I have thought about that, too, though, and you are right that it may be something to be concerned about. I'm not sure if it's my medical background and just my fascination with things like this, or is it something more mental with me? Can't wait to talk to my T and hear what he thinks.

Hi inky,

No disrespect or ill-will intended here, but you said,

Can't wait to talk to my T and hear what he thinks.

That could be the one thing that this is all about.

Attention from T.

I'm only thinking this because people usually just don't decide to SI. It's usually done, at least at first, in a trancelike mode of despair and escape. And the shame from it is overwhelming, not celebrated.

Again, no disrespect. I could be way off.

Just a thought.

Petunia

[inkblot]

I am afraid to tell anyone about it! I've been lying to everybody about how it happened except for my T. I saw the pdoc yesterday and there was no way I was going to tell her! I do confess things to my T. He's the only one who isn't going to judge. I know what you mean, and I have thought about that. I guess I kind of look to my T for guidance and support, like I am sure all of us do. I am ashamed of some things, and those things I tell my T of it by voice mail or leaving him a note and scolding myself harshly in the process for telling because it feels so wrong. As for hearing what my T thinks, that will be my guidance and support.

By the way, my cut looked okay this morning still, but tonight it has a slight red edge. I'll keep watching it and see how it is tomorrow.

[soonforgotten]

(((((((((((Inky)))))))))))))) I'm really worried about you; I wish you would/ could stop doing that to yourself.

Lisa