Like the title says, I'm not really feeling like I'm going to kill myself, but more like I want to kill myself. I've dealt with enough negative thoughts and feelings in the past to be able to simple have these thought and prevent myself from acting on them, but I hate feeling this way. My boyfriend is so lioving, I don't want to tell him how I feel, he's such a happy person he wouldn't understand. I'm in middle of transitioning to a new medication, so I'm hoping the feeling will pass, but part of it is the fact that I hate my job to death and I wish I could magically find a better one over night and then start focusing on going back to school. My pride is what kills me, stupid how I let others opions get to me, even if they might only be imagined ones. Ugh!!

[googley]

((((((((((LabLover))))))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I've been in that place before too. Do you have a T you can talk about your feelings with? Have you told your pdoc how the med change is making you feel? That is really important. I think you should tell your boyfriend how you are feeling. If he is as great as you say he is (and I assume he is by how you described him) he will want to help you. You telling him how you are feeling will not ruin him. I'm sure he will want to help you during this time of transition. Reach out for the supports you have. I know it is hard to do, especially when you are feeling this down, but this is when it is the most important. Take care of yourself.

[lynn P.]

((LabLover)) - I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Please remember to be patient when these feelings come. I hope the new medication will help but also some meds can bring on these feelings, so please let your doctor know but mention you're not in immediate danger. These feelings will pass though and this is where the patience comes in. Never make critical decisions when you're upset.

[(JD)]

Often when people express themselves this way they aren't wanting to end their lives, they
want their lives as they know them to end.

Make changes in your life. Not only will good changes help you cope, but by making some you will take back some control.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by LabLover23

I hate my job to death... My pride is what kills me, stupid how I let others opions get to me, even if they might only be imagined ones.

Do you want to talk about this more ^? Do you have a therapist?

[sugahorse1]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and i hope it passes. Please try talk to your T.