[MASIMO]

I think I posted here once before. I rarely cut. Months can go by
and I have a bad night when everything hits the fan and I spiral downward
into this place. This place that is removed from reality, I know I'm doing it, but its too surreal to accept it. I have never cut deeply, only superficial.

I sent my counselor a email that night, that I had cut, and needed to see
the open emotional wound that was bothering me, that we had discussed during our last sesson...bleed. He called me the next day, he asked me to promise him I will call him the next time I have thoughts of doing it.
I said I would try. But I didn't actually promise him. He thinks that if he
plants this in my head, calling him, that it might prevent me from doing it.
I dont want to call him at night, after a couple of drinks, to tell him I'm going to cut myself. Yuck. And because he knows this would be hard for me, he is banking it might stop me. I dont know. I'm 51 by the way.
Just started doing this this year.

[Detia]

I have numbers in my phone that I am supposed to call when I think about cutting myself. Sometimes having the numbers there reminds me that I do have someone to call, and also that I have reasons not to cut. I don't know what any of those people would say to make me feel better or to support me from not cutting, but it lets me know that someone cares.

Which can help.

There are other places you can call, much like the suicide hotline like 1-800-DONTCUT which is 1-800-366-8288 in case you think calling anyone would really help you.

Have you tried any other methods to cope with your emotions other than self-injury? Any sort of hobby, or talking to someone, or an activity? You said that you just started self-injuring this year so I'm thinking perhaps something has happened recently to making coping hard, or perhaps you once knew better methods of coping.

Perhaps there's an activity like tennis or running that could help you get out a lot of that negative energy before it manifests as S.I.

[puzzclar]

Detia, is so right!!! Take the advice. Even though I am half your age, I still know starting something good in place of something bad, brings great results!! Replace cutting with reading a book, drawing a picture, really anything that can distract your mind and just reprogram your mind to thing of the good thing.

It takes time, and you can do this. Just stay happy!!