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  #1  
Old Nov 15, 2010, 01:27 PM
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whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
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hi, i'm new here.
until today i hadn't hurt myself in four months. today i ruined it. i have too much going on, and right now i just don't have the strength to fight the urge. i'm such a failure.

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  #2  
Old Nov 15, 2010, 09:17 PM
Ebpm Ebpm is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: Plymouth
Posts: 202
You aren't a failure, trust me. Relapse is actually normal in recovery so not to worry, do you know specifically why you might have injured again? How do you think you can avoid instances like this?

Always know that you have support here. After a period of time without doing so, I SI-ed and felt bad for a little while, but I let it go. And now I can say I haven't done that in a while, so stay calm. The more you dwell on it the more it'll stress you out.

Relax friend, you'll be alright, trust me. ;-) (hugs!)
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #3  
Old Nov 15, 2010, 11:03 PM
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SylviaPlath SylviaPlath is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebpm View Post
You aren't a failure, trust me. Relapse is actually normal in recovery so not to worry, do you know specifically why you might have injured again? How do you think you can avoid instances like this?

Always know that you have support here. After a period of time without doing so, I SI-ed and felt bad for a little while, but I let it go. And now I can say I haven't done that in a while, so stay calm. The more you dwell on it the more it'll stress you out.

Relax friend, you'll be alright, trust me. ;-) (hugs!)
Well said! I'm not the one who posted but you made me feel better anyway.
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  #4  
Old Nov 16, 2010, 12:08 AM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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Your not a failure!!!!! Read my signature it will help you understand why... And it can help!! It helped me.
  #5  
Old Nov 20, 2010, 11:45 PM
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whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
Thank you all! I just got out of the hospital, and hopefully now I'll be able to cope in other ways, more healthy ways.
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #6  
Old Nov 21, 2010, 12:04 AM
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kalisha36 kalisha36 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 274
I know how awful it can feel to have a relapse when you si but just when your running up a flight of stairs and say your in the 5th flight and you fall you don't start down all the way at the first flight you pick up from where you fell and keep going...Success is still success...I know it can feel that all success is lost because you had a relapse, and it's easy for me to say it's not lost just pick up from were you left off and keep trucking your doing AWESOME...However I am glad your talking about it and hopefully you can follow up with your T about it too and find out what made you trigger or what helped you get to this point? Anyways hugs if safe Take care,
Kalisha
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the past is my future. the pain is my emotion that is my prison. what I feel is as confusing as to why I feel it?
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #7  
Old Nov 21, 2010, 09:39 AM
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Skully Skully is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2010
Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 8,040
You are NOT a failure. One slip up does not constitute as a failure. Everyone will slip every now and then. What you need to do is evaluate what triggered you to do it. Think about it and try to come up with a way of coping with that trigger. I know it is hard but don't be so down on yourself. Slip ups happen to everyone whether it be SI or trying to quite smoking/drinking. It's ok, it really is. Getting depressed and being down on yourself may cause you to do it again. Try to think in a positive manor and look at the incident objectively and see if you can find a solution.
I wish you luck and please let us know how you are doing.
Also,
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!
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Be who you are and say what you feel...
Because those who matter.. Don’t mind...
And those who mind.. Don’t matter."
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failure
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #8  
Old Nov 23, 2010, 01:00 PM
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whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
Thank you all! In the hospital I came up with a long list of healthy coping skills, I'm hoping to be able to actually use them if I get to the point again.
I really like the thing about the stairs, that really makes sense.
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #9  
Old Nov 23, 2010, 01:14 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 8,135
4 Months wihtout SI thats great well done

ok you slipped up - the thing to do is not to beat yourself up about it - as all these kind people have said - give yourself credit for the 4 months and give yourself credit for coming here and reaching out - that was very brave

Every second you dont SI is a victory

and now you have your list of things to do and also at the top of the forum there are lists to help you too

please take good care of you and stay safe

P7
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
failure
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When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
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  #10  
Old Nov 23, 2010, 08:51 PM
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trixielou trixielou is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: wv, united states
Posts: 379
its been since august since i cut & i am fighting the urge really bad right now i wish everybody i hate would drop dead
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im thankful for every day God gives me & for His grace love & mercy He has shown me over & over through all of my screwed up choices
  #11  
Old Nov 23, 2010, 09:12 PM
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invisigirl invisigirl is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 342
you are NOT a failure.
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failure
wife. mom. swimmer. writer.
trying to live life in spite of depression, dissociation, and PTSD.
member of a club that no one wants to join...
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