[Ebpm]

Alright, so a bunch of kids I know SI and blah blah blah sad, tear...but what gets me is that this one girl comes to school with a bunch of cuts on her arms. Now, they aren't very deep, and look like they could'v been done with a toothpick.
One day in class a chick who's been SI'ing for years said
"They're not even real cuts." acting as if they don't matter because they're not as bad as her taking a nail file to her legs( as I've seen.)
"She didn't even start until she found out I did it." oh what you don't wanna be a trendsetter? Please. Apparently she doesn't think it's a big deal, and her friends don't either.

I on the other hand am sortof a friend to this girl, especially when people talk about her behind her back. (hey, it's happened to me before)
It just really bothers me how that chick can be so nasty...

[Sannah]

[vampyre love]

at my school theres a buch of girls who are kinda like that they cut because they think its cool, and they brag about whos the worst. They are bacially joking about and taking the piss they font gets its a real problematic thing to do.

[Ebpm]

It's really stupid, and I don't understand how they can be proud of this...

[lxegirl]

yeah that is so stupid. Idk even how to respond. Its just...dumb. people are supposed to be worried when their friend is cutting, not just like "oh yeah its cuz she thinks its cool". Its just wrong.

[Detia]

Some people do cause because it's trendy or cool. In many cases, someone who is cutting because they are actually feeling emotional pain and that's what drives them to hurt themselves, then in most cases they might even be ashamed of the cuts and scars and try to hide it rather than show it off.

The thing is, is your friend actually cutting because she is upset, or because it's trendy? You should talk to her to figure it out, because either way it could develop into a harmful pattern when at first it was just a pissing contest.

Also, in my opinion, if the other girls are cackling because the girl didn't really cut, then you should both take it as a good thing. Cutting isn't trendy, it's harmful and unhealthy.

[Ebpm]

No she seriously does it, not because it's trendy...I know that for certain.

None of the people I know want to show their cuts off. They hide them pretty well but it feels weird when they talk about their new cuts since I havent in a while. This makes me very uncomfortable, and I know I need to tell someone, but I'm at a bit of a loss as to who exactly...I don't really want to rat them out either. I know that at least two of them haven't SI'd in about a week but there are so many more I'm not sure what to do...

[Detia]

Try checking out other sources on the SI section on this site, it might provide you with helpful suggestions because it can be hard to deal with people who SI. Whether you want to give them positive affirmation for not cutting, or whether you want to talk to them about it.

I would suggest leaving yourself open for them to come talk to you if they need someone to talk to. Or just let them know, there are websites that can suggest to you what you should say to them or ask them in order to help them rather than make them feel like you don't understand or something like that. Ratting them out won't necessarily help them, but perhaps you could talk to a counselor, saying that you have friends that do this and you want to know what to do because you're concerned about them.

[invisigirl]

as to the severity of her cutting.. perhaps it may not be 'cutting', but it is still self-injury. self-injury is not always cutting deep and drawing blood. it can also be scratching, burning, bruising.. there are many ways to harm oneself.

just because she's not doing 'what everyone else is doing', does not mean it is of no concern or that it's not an issue for her.

[lovefew-fearnone]

ok being a recovering SI addict.....
yes it is addictive....
It's not funny it's not trendy and it's not anything good.
It hurts more than it helps but I understand the point that is making its way across... I got started beause I thought it was interesting how pain could take away the emotion..... then I got hooked.
no type of SI is fake..... from small scratches to gashes needing stitches it is a serious matter that should be sought help for.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

Not to defend the girl that was being rude to the other but I do believe that maybe she is so big in taking pride in her cutting because it is the only thing that makes her her. Maybe that's her only identity. Now I'm not condoning bragging about it but you should still give her the benefit of the doubt that she is also in great amounts of pain and bragging to someone about her cuts being deeper or bigger is her way of raising her self esteem as sick and twisted as that sounds. Maybe I'm wrong but it's the first thing that came to my mind . . . Don't hate me for saying it . I mean it would be the same thing to me as some girl saying she is ugly just to get compliments. Maybe the girl just wants to be noticed so people know she is struggling. Just things to think about. Sorry if it's a crazy idea.

[Lizabelle]

Wow........I can't believe someone would start cutting just because it's "trendy". It IS addictive.

What I'm also wondering is, people actually talk to others about their cutting? I always feel so ashamed that I do it, and I hide them, so nobody knows. Nobody ever really talks about suicide or cutting or anything like that at my school. It's just kinda.....taboo, a little like sex talk.

[krisakira]

My new therapist asked me what kind of cutting I was doing. She explained that some people come into her office with a scratch that only makes a white or red line and say oh look I cut myself! And that that kind of cutting isn't real cutting. I showed her my scars and she could clearly see that it wasn't that kind of cutting I was into. I don't think it was right for my therapist to say scratches aren't real cuts because if someone does it there's clearly a problem that needs addressing even if its the problem of wanting attention. My cuts started out as scratches and no one noticed them or cared, but it escalated. It always escalates if its not addressed. Now I cut deep and have hundreds of very noticeable scars.

[krisakira]

And I find it hard to talk about my cutting to anyone because it is triggering for me, makes me get tempted sometimes.

[krisakira]

And no i didn't start because it was a trend. I didn't know about it until i saw it on tv. Then one day, i felt so much pain i had to try it to see if it would help, cause i was desperate. I really didn't know of any other option to help myself get through everything ive been through.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

I agree with krisakira, I dont think it was very nice of the therapist to say that it wasn't real cutting. Any form of self injury is real. From burning to cutting. Just because the cuts aren't deep doesn't mean anything.

[krisakira]

Yeah it was weird cause my therapist took some scissors from her desk and made a scratch on her arm. It gave me so much anxiety .then she started talking about details of someone who does it deeper. It was very uncomfortable to hear it and she made motions with her hands as if she were doing it. It was so weird how flippantly she said it all, almost with o regard for my feelings about it all....

Ps sorry I had to edit this post to take out triggering content. The end

[Xxemo=lifexX]

i think that cuting is server no matter what but if she is cuting because its trendy she is an idiot, now she will be adicted and find it hard to stop

[Lizabelle]

I hate it when people say something isn't "real cutting". I don't do deep cutting, because there's nothing sharp and easily accessible enough around the house. But it still counts as cutting. So I don't know why anyone would say it's "not real cutting".....

[Detia]

Wow... The way that therapist behaved unsettles me quite a lot. Breaking the skin is still injury, or harm. If it's not 'cutting' then it's still self-injury.

[Ebpm]

I am very thankful for all the feedback, thanks guys! ;-)

I'm contemplating telling our school counselor but I really hate her...I know that my two friends keep SI'ing and it pisses me off. I haven't in a few months which is the longest I've gone for three years. I may tell the school psychologist though...I know that both of them need help and it's really starting to bother me. I'll have to check out some of the stuff you suggested Detia. And they have talked to me before about it, and recently I write a letter to the school paper about it because no one is taking these matters seriously.

[Sannah]

Very responsible Ebpm!

[Ebpm]

That therapist worries me greatly. It seems very unconventional, and not in a good way. Have you told your therapist how uncomfortable this makes you?

Well kids at our school just talk about it all the time it's a 'hot topic' I guess. The news is splattered with suicide cases 24/7, it's always someone else who tried to end their life, and the recent buzz of Demi Lovato's self harming is like fossil fuel right now for a bunch of SI kids. It's like a secret club everyone wants to belong to, like, seriously? Wtf... I just don't understand how they can think these things...
And yes, I think that my friend says those things to gain self esteem, but she has other things to actually proud of.

[Ebpm]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Very responsible Ebpm!

Ha! Me, responsible?!

Everyone hide it's the apacolipse!!!

[Detia]

Haha, Ebpm, I think that you've taken a fairly responsible approach as well.

If a celebrity does something harmful that's not 'cool' and shouldn't be a club. Argh some people make me really sad with their decisions. If Demi Lovato does SI, and it's been a public announcement of sorts, then it shouldn't become a new fad, but rather used as an awareness. Because one celebrity has cancer, doesn't mean that kids should go walking around radioactive sites because it's cool to get cancer. And people know that...

I hope that they come to understand better in the future, good luck with the therapists and school psychologist.