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#1
Dec 27, 2010, 05:31 PM
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I crashed. I caved. my legs are covered with cuts and with her name.
I am not sure what got ahold of me but i know the shorts i was wearing last night are trash. covered in blood. I am so sorry to everyone who i have just let down. I hope Yall can forgive me. My therapist was right I am scared to lose but its even worse when i didn't see it coming and i wake up and shes gone. I fought for her and i can't get her back. She stopped me from cutting last time and now I don't see a reason not to. I really have no idea what I'm doing I'm just so lost and the light at the end of the tunnel was me moving back to what I have always known.
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#2
Dec 27, 2010, 06:56 PM
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You've not let anyone down. Sometimes we do crash, that's a fact and it's ok if we still keep trying.
I don't know about your history and don't quite know what to say to help, but I can't walk away after reading your post. When do you next see your therapist, perhaps they can offer some support. Please take care and if you need to speak to anyone (just chat... to keep your mind of things/her for a little while) feel free to message me
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#3
Dec 27, 2010, 07:04 PM
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My only advice is that depending on others to prevent you from cutting will always wind up letting you down. Really, I learned that the hard way - stopped SI because of a friend, who then left. Then I relapsed. It only really works to quit or stop if you quit for yourself and find tools to help you that you can do by yourself.
 I'm sorry. If your cuts need to be looked at, please go to a doctor.
__________________
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 Sannah
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#4
Dec 27, 2010, 07:43 PM
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thanks everyone... my t has been no help to me whatsoever.... none of them have done anything more than make it worse. I don't know if they need to be looked at but I'm trying to stop and its harder this time than its ever been. I can't give up but I'm so close....
thanks for the replies
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#5
Dec 27, 2010, 08:07 PM
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LFFN, it is up to you to use your resources to help yourself.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Dec 27, 2010, 09:28 PM
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The right therapist can make all the diferance. I know mine has saved my life more than once. Keep looking for a therapist that you can connect with, therapy is a painful process but in the long run it's worth it.
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
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#7
Dec 27, 2010, 09:41 PM
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A lot of T's are not good with SI... keep looking... they are out there! Please let us support you in any way we can. First and formost are they bad enough that you need to go to the ER or get help right away? if there is even a hint of question go get them looked at. This may be a stupid question and my intent is not to offend or insult but... do you know at least basic first aide? Like beyond what mom did when you were a kid but not what a Dr would know either. It may be beneficial to take a basic first aide course there are a ton out there. At least enough to know how to manage the injuries until you can get to a Dr? Right now what is done is done and needs to be treated to make sure it heals propperly and does not get worse. Also do you have the propper first aide stuff to take care of it?
I know that it is easier said than done but forgive yourself and start anew... stewing over what is already done would only create more stress and you don't need that now. Focus on the road ahead, self care, wound care and how to keep yourself safe until you can get the help you need and want. Usual disclaimer... I am just opinionated... I am not a Dr or a T... my opinion is only that... an outside, observers opinion.
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There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#8
Dec 27, 2010, 11:49 PM
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I'm sorry everyone. It just got alot worse.... I am such a failure.....
__________________
------------------------------------------------ Watch All, Love Few, Fear None On the dark side.... Jealous and resentful Compulsive and obsessive Secretive and obstinate Formally known as enditnow92 |
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#9
Dec 28, 2010, 02:16 AM
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You are not a failure in my eyes. You were sidetracked and just need guidance in order to get back where you were. Keep working on finding new strategies to cope. I wish you all the best! If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for you.
-Liz |
| lovefew-fearnone
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#10
Dec 28, 2010, 08:09 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#11
Jan 07, 2011, 01:01 AM
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im not gone...
__________________
THeyCallMeAllieAutopsy(:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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