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#1
Dec 28, 2010, 11:38 PM
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I absolutely adore my boyfriend of now 3 months. I want to be honest with him, but I'm having trouble deciding how to approach the whole SI thing... He's already asked me once about the scars on my thigh, but at the time it caught me so off guard that I just couldn't spit out the truth... I just told him not to worry about it, and he hasn't mentioned it since, but (and here I risk briefly giving a tad too much info...) while kissing, I've noticed once or twice when his hands go up the side of my thigh, his fingers linger on the area of skin harboring the small army of scars; his hands go back over them as if feeling the raised marks on the skin, wondering where they might have come from, but to his credit, he says nothing (he's so damn considerate... god, he makes me melt ^___^). I feel that he knows I'm holding back, and I strongly think he deserves to know this about me; I just don't know how to approach the subject, and I'm worried about how he'll react.
Any advice?
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#2
Dec 28, 2010, 11:50 PM
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Ahhh... nevermind, I found the older, informative, helpful thread further on down the SI forum list... will browse that instead.
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#3
Dec 29, 2010, 01:50 PM
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Keep us posted if you need to talk about it?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
 paintingravens
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#4
Jan 06, 2011, 07:00 PM
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I think I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow night, when I go to his house to spend the weekend with him. I saw him last night, and (it must have been a sign, lol) JUST as I was trying to work up the courage to tell him (unsuccessfully, though), he starts to tell me about how he feels like he might need to talk to someone professionally to help figure out what he's doing with his life, as well as other concerns that have been worrying him recently.
I feel torn though. After hearing him share with me first, I feel better about talking to him, like, I feel like I CAN, and I think I'm definitely going to bring it up tomorrow, but I'm still pretty anxious about it. In fact, I feel pretty weak. Why can't I just talk about what's bothering me? It's like talking, sharing with others my feelings is one of the hardest things for me. Why can't I even figure out what's bothering me? Why can't I deal with things in a healthy way, instead of just running from them and mentally distancing myself from life's problems? It's like when I feel, truly FEEL something real, I feel it all at once, otherwise I'm not fully there. I'm ether happy, like legitimately happy and confident in myself and my abilities and I feel like I can deal with ANYTHING that life throws at me, or I'm on the opposite end, which usually includes feeling intense sadness followed by a numbness and just being overwhelmed with every little thing... When I'm not sad, though, I sometimes feel like I'm just acting. Not sad, mind you, just that I'm trying too hard to feel and look happy... I don't think I'm actually saying this right... like, almost numb, but not the kind I feel when I'm sad. It's like I'm just pretending that I'm feeling real...? I guess it's that after feeling intensely happy and intensely sad, life seems almost incredibly dull when I can't identify with either emotion, and I feel almost numb. It's like I almost NEED to feel intensely to feel alive, otherwise, I just feel like I'm coasting. 'Coasting' sounds more right than 'acting', but I'm still not sure if I'm saying what I'm feeling the right way... 'Not fully there' sounds a little better... I don't know. Just rambling. But wish me luck this weekend. If I don't say anything to him by friday night, then hopefully by the weekend's end.
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#5
Jan 06, 2011, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
I can understand what you are talking about with your feelings. I can't explain it but I can understand it. Hey, good luck this weekend!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| paintingravens
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#6
Jan 06, 2011, 08:13 PM
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I was in the same kind of problem and when I finally told my boyfriend, honestly he freaked out a little, but he got over it really fast and wanted to help. He asked me to stop and talk to someone about it. I hope you get as much support as i did
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| paintingravens
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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