[jennaorgana]

a lot of people don't realize how hospitals will treat you if you go to the ER.

when i have to get stitches or a wound dressed, i always have to make up excuses... like, i was cutting a cabbage, or a spilled hot water while cooking... cooking is a pretty good excuse.

but i always get treated like crap, even if they appear to accept my story. do any of you feel the same way? like hospitals are biased towards people who self-injure?

when i woke up from my last suicide attempt, i was like a leper in the hospital. none of the doctors even wanted to talk to me.

[perpetuallysad]

The only positive hospital experience I've ever had is when I had my son. Any other time and I have always been treated like trash. I think this is because I didn't have insurance. And because they really don't take any sort "mental patient" as anything more than a waste of their time. I have actually quit telling them about any mental problems or meds because I am tired of the stigma. I let my pharmacist (whom I love) warn me of interactions and she makes sure everything is alright in that area. My hospital doesn't have a psych department though.

[KeepHoldingOn]

I've never had a positive hospital experience when I go in for stitches after I've SI'd. People look at me weird when I go in and I get really self conscious as well. I don't think hospitals are necessarily biased but I don't think we really are accepted and treated as everyone else is.

[zooropa]

god yes, this is why I won't go in for stitches even when I need them, unless it's really REALLY bad. Of course now I'm so scarred that it doesn't even matter what I'm there for, I'm going to get treated like a "cutter" no matter what. Even just to draw blood they have to really work to find a vein b/c of all the scars and nobody is ever pleasant about it, ever.

I don't really care any more. The strange looks and the disgust of the people in the ER do not register with me; I expect it. Good for all of them that they've never dealt with pain in this way. What does that make them? Better? Nope I don't think so....I think they're all scared when they see the cuts or OD's. There, but for the grace of God, go they....It could just as easily be one of them and they know it and it scared the crap out of them. In a way, I pity those people. They aren't honest with themselves and , in turn, with us.

[jennaorgana]

o jeez so true calista... about us scaring the crap out of them. people are indeed afraid of what they cant/dont understand.

[KeepHoldingOn]

By no means do they know what we've gone through. I agree that it's a lack of understanding that causes them to be scared. If they were perhaps more open then I think I'd be more willing to talk and in turn feel less looked down upon. Not that I'd want to share what happened though.

Actually, i had one good experience at an Urgent Care place. The doc was real nice about it. I was apologizing for wasting his time and he and the nurses were like "its ok." And once I had a positive experience at a regular doctor's office, even though they had to stay late to get all the stitches in. I was even a new patient and they took me.

But the ER, sucks. People are nasty and those doctors don't care about anyone. Even once my foster parents took me because I was really bad and they treated them like crap too. It wasn't there fault?

Try butterfly bandages. They work great unless you have cut into the fat, then stitches.

[Mike_J]

The doctor I saw at the ER was HORRIBLE, the nurses were very nice though. After trying to talk me into agreeing to being admitted to a mental facility he had me commited. But he woudln't sign the paperwork he made on of the nurses, and when I was being led off in handcuffs he made a point of telling me that all his talk about wanting me to make the decission to be admitted to a mental facility was BS and he planned on commiting me from the very begining. I was so pissed off, it was bad enough that he had me commited against my will but if he really thought I was so unstalbe that I needed to be commited why would he make a point of telling me that he was just messing with my head.

[jennaorgana]

handcuffs?? jeez wow. i am sorry you had to go through that

[KeepHoldingOn]

wow I'm sorry you went through that. That's pretty brutal.

I usually make up some kind of excuse when I go in.

[_embrace]

I agree with almost everyone above...I have never had a "good" experience in the ER because of SI. I went about four times, I think, before deciding that I'd make it an absolute last resort, and only go if I REALLY needed it.

I did have mostly good experiences at a local clinic, but eventually they told me that I could no longer go there for those particular issues, as it was a drain on resources. I guess I understand, health care isn't cheap (Canada = gov't covered, but supplies apparently aren't...dunno). It was after that happened that I went to the ER a few times after cutting.

Once, a female doctor looked at one of my cuts and said "Oh my God!" in a gaspy voice. That definitely freaked me out a bit, as I didn't think it was *that* bad. Another time, I had a doctor question me very arrogantly, saying things like "I've seen this before...why do you people DO this? What do you even get out of it?" He did not seem concerned, just interested in the same way a student would be in a textbook. Another time, a psych nurse exclaimed angrily at me "DOn't you know this sort of thing can kill you???? Tsk tsk" and the last time I went, they refused to stitch the cut that had brought me there, saying it "wasn't bad enough" and that it "probably wouldn't even leave a scar," even though I could clearly see fat. Needless to say, the cut took about 2 months to heal, and is one of my biggest and ugliest scars.

Ugh, the ER sucks, seriously. I think it's partly a lack of understanding, and partly the fact that they're so overworked that they see us as a "waste of time," or whatever. Either way, it's ridiculous. I don't think that basic respect and courtesy is too much to ask for.

[zooropa]

is that the "rule", that if you see fat you should get it stitched?

[KeepHoldingOn]

Generally if you cut into fat or can see fatty tissue then yes you probably should get stitches.

[Mike_J]

Yea it sucked, they called the police to "escort" me to the mental facility. On the plus side the two cops were very nice about things. One asked me if I agreed with what was going on, I said NO, that seemed to make him a bit nervious, then he asked "are you going to give me any trouble?" I thought about making some smart *** comment but decided to just say "no"

[jennaorgana]

embrace the doctor really reacted that way!! jeez, after med school and everything else they've seen and studied you'd think she'd have a little more composure!

[moonrise]

I was handcuffed, too. That ranks as one of my most awful experiences. Thing is, I could slip my skinny wrists out of the restraints, but I kept them in there, for them. I've had horrible people, and a couple of wonderful people. I once 'escaped' from the ER and campus security. On other occasions, I told them where my blades were hidden, or that I was tonguing meds, and showed them the stash.

I could write a book about how I've been treated by docs, both kindly and unkindly. I never go now because of SI. I've discovered that very few, very very few cuts ***need**** to be stitched, except for cosmetic reasons. I'd rather take my chances on bleeding than face cruel and ignorant ER personnel.

[_embrace]

((((everyone))) It's hard to believe sometimes that we're in the 21st century, with the way some of us are treated. It actually makes me sad to hear all of these tales of mistreatment by those who are supposed to help us.

[pinkcorr]

I can't even count the amount of times I've needed staples or stitches, probably hundreds. And 5 surgeries to repair muscle and tendons. I've had alot of bad experiences but I've also had some very positive experiences. I've done some talks about SI to the staff at the A and E about SI and how people want to be treated. I like when the junior doctors are honest with me and tell me they don't understand completely, but they are willing to learn a bit more, I allow them to ask questions and hopefully they can learn how to treat people who SI better. Some doctors/nurses don't give a s*** and TBH I feel sorry for them, they have no idea.

Its obvious that staff need to be educated. For the last 5/6 years I've been giving talks across the UK to professionals who work with people like myself who SI. Even if it has helped one person, something positive has to come out of my experience.

[jennaorgana]

i just was in the hostpial for a friends SI and they treated her much nicer than mine

[JustWannaDisappear]

I never went in for stitches but I've had to see a specialist for some other health problem not related to SI and the Dr told me I was wasting his time and thought I was cutting myself and putting blood in my urine for the attention.

Another Dr grabbed my arms and yelled at me asking me why I did that and how I could be so stupid. Since then, I refuse to be seen in an ER and have kept the same Drs for years...I ended up having to switch Drs last year and refused labs because I don't want questions about my arms. I also have words carved into my body and have refused physicals because I do not want questions.

[whenwillitend]

I've never been to the ER just for SI, but only for SI combined with suicide attempts. And once I smuggled razor bladed into the ER and cut myself there while I was waiting to be transported to a mental unit. Every time I got stitched up they treated me like dirt. And I can tell you, they don't like suicide attempts either. Really pisses them off. No matter what ER I went to.
Now, when you go in and say you're suicidal, they're all super nice. But cutting or su attempts.....

I no! When I got taken to er for od'ing the nurse was Muslim, and they really hate what I did in their religion or whatever, so she was awful to me and made me feel like crap, then she had to do a blood test an wasn't gentle at all was really rough and acted really annoyed as if I was wasting her time. They all made me feel like crap tbh, they don't even want to understand. But then when they made me stay in the doctors and nurses were really nice, I guess it just depends who you see. :/

[PTSDlovemycats]

For me the worst part is going for blood tests. I hate the looks that I get from the nurses, Some make rude comments, others say nothing and pretend they don't see it but it is obvious that they see the scars. I hate it.

[Amoslass]

AH hospital.....godawful places if you're there because of mental health issues...I OD'ed last year and had to sit around in the emergency waiting room with my counsellor (she found me in a park...loooong story). I sat there for 2 hours full of painkillers. i finally got a bed but refused to stay through sheer guilt and the fact there was a dying old man next to me (I'd lost my grandpa just recently so it triggered me) I said I'd be safer at home. I think I was right!

Before that, years ago, I was packed off to the psych ward at my local public hospital, shown the room I was to have and then ignored for the rest of my stay. I got more depressed being IN there than I was outside!

I've never gone to hospital when I've Si'ed - I seem to be very good at first aid. I usually fix myself up. Those butterfly bandages are good. So are panty liners and sanitary pads. That sounds embarassing but they work.