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#1
Mar 10, 2011, 04:05 PM
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Yesterday was my 3 month anniversary of stopping cutting...but I have such mixed feelings about it. I think most of the reason that I have been able to go so long without SI is because I am in a very different place emotionally so I don't NEED it, but I still want it.
I miss SI because it is something that I had completely to myself--'my thing'. Nobody could see my scars and nobody knew, except for T, and she only knew because I chose to tell her. And also because it made me feel like I had control over my body, which I don't normally feel. Which is stupid because that need doesn't stem from any abuse or anything like that so I don't know where it comes from or a healthy way to deal with it. I mostly stopped because I wanted T to be proud of me...it is hard for me to see that it is inherently unhealthy (esp because it was never super severe) I wish that 3 months seemed more like an accomplishment and less like something to mourn... |
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#2
Mar 11, 2011, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Mar 12, 2011, 05:16 AM
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I know how you feel. I've gone a month without SI, probably to make my T proud of me as well. And all I really want to do is cut right now. And I feel like a need it more than want it.
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