[suzzie]

last nite i s/i-ed. usually i am in control and know i will just do it a few times. but this time i wasnt in control. i had to make myself stop. it was so calming. i just wanted to keep feeling that way and just kept doing it. 26 times before i stopped myself. it bothers me that i had to struggle to be in control of it.

[suzzie]

think this might have been a bad post. i apologize for that.

[Sannah]

Hey Suzzie, do you understand what triggered you?

[lynn P.]

(((suzzie))) - since I'm not well versed in this area, I don't have wise words...only hugs.

[suzzie]

kinda. its because i dont feel like im good enough for anyone to know. and never will be. there is something missing. people just arent interested in knowing me more than on a surface level. im too easy to forget. i have nothing to offer. there are way too many better choices of friendships than me.

[lynn P.]

I'm sorry you feel so bad about yourself ((suzzie)). I think you just haven't met the right nice people. I think you're a very nice person. Depression makes us believe those critical thoughts.

[sundog]

((((((((((((suzzie))))))))))))))))) I'm so very sorry you feel this way. I think you're lovely. I really do. It saddens me so much that you feel no one wants to know you. I really want to know you. And tons of other people here do too. I know it's not the same as real life, but please believe that we really care for you here.

Sending you tons of hugs and lots of love

[Travelinglady]

(((Suzzie))) You DO matter to people, sweetie. See, you are getting some responses to your post! I wish I could somehow convince you that people care, and that there are people out there who want to be your friends! I know self-injury feels good at the time (so I've heard), but it's not the best way to deal with your feelings of hurt and sadness. I'll talk to you soon.....

[crossfire]

[greylove]

Suzzie.......dear one. I just came across your post. It's so easy for me to forget that we're all here for some reason or other. I have never even given thought to the fact you might have any issues at all. I'm sorry about that. It's just that you are so very special to me, to all of us who know you, in games, with pix (and anything else you can think of) that the thought of you being in pain of any kind at all, is unbearable. The side that you show us........the side that we want returned to you, is way beyond "surface" . You matter so much to me, to all of us. You have a whole website full of people who love you.......who would want to know you in real life as well as we do here. Let yourself realize that......talk to me......to us. You're the brightest spot in my day........hugs and much love grey

[Skully]

So sorry suzzie that you found yourself in that place again...best thing to remember is IT'S OK! We all slip up from time to time. If you beat yourself up over it and hate yourself it will only bring it on again. Try to identify what could have triggered you to do it and work through those emotions/feelings. If you need direction on that know that I am always around

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by suzzie

its because i dont feel like im good enough for anyone to know. and never will be. there is something missing. people just arent interested in knowing me more than on a surface level. im too easy to forget. i have nothing to offer. there are way too many better choices of friendships than me.

I used to also have somewhat similar feelings and then I figured out that I was the one keeping people back. So I went to work on that so that I would stop doing it. There are all sorts of reasons why people build up those walls.

I'm glad that you figured out what triggered you.