TRIGGER WARNING wanting release

MAY TRIGGER
XXX
XX
XXXX
XXXX
see the edges so sharp
see the shame depart
feel the release
of pain severe

Sometimes I find I look for the blade. The need for release is great. I pull it from its pack, staring at the power it holds over me, I remove the cardboard covering the sharp edges, staring at it shininess, the sharpness of the edges. The reflection entrances me, I see the power within it to release me, my mind becomes focused, I dream of the release it offers me, my hand moves on its own, it has powers I need, it will release the pain and shame, draining the poison from within, as I feel the edge on my skin, I tremor with anticipation, I feel no pain from its edges, as I trace the line it will define, the need for release is so great, and the power it holds is so entrancing. I see in the shininess, pain no more. But wait, I then must hide the scar; try to explain it away, for few will understand the need or power the blade will bring. So once again, I reverently cover the edges, returning the blade to its place or reverence, to await its return another day. Keeping the pain and shame within.
shelley and the zoo

XXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXXX