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#1
Apr 03, 2011, 02:21 AM
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So lately alot of stuff has been going on... my best friend left me, and i loved him too..... he said he wanted to be friends again... made the effort once and then stopped.. and now he's ignoring me...
another thing... i'm over-weight and my dad gets upset when i eat food and i now hate food.. he get's really mad too... my dad's having health issues and i'm afraid that he'll die at any moment... my mom and dad are miserable being together and they would have divorced a long time ago if it weren't for me... i can't help but feel that i'm the cause for every argument they have.. everything just became.. overwhelming so i took a sterile razor blade and cut my upper thigh. it felt so good, like it released everything. i forgot about the boy. it was and is bliss. the pain makes me concentrate on something else instead of my problems. I sterilized the single cut... why does it feel so good? Thank you for reading... i needed to vent. ps.. i have chronic depression and sorry if this doesn't make much sense! Last edited by Christina86; Apr 03, 2011 at 08:08 AM. Reason: added trigger icon |
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#2
Apr 03, 2011, 11:51 AM
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Tori - welcome to PC. I am so sorry you are going through so much right now. It sounds like you are taking on a lot of issues that don't really belong to you. Put those issues back on the people they belong to and it will help you not feel so overwhelmed. I know, it's easier said than done. There are only so many things you can control and right now you need to take care of YOU. Please don't hurt yourself - the relief it provides is temporary and when that feeling of relief is gone, the issues are still there.
Hang in there!  and keep us posted
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#3
Apr 03, 2011, 02:07 PM
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Please seek help. Cutting is a horrible thing to start, I know. Its temporary relief It's not something you want to start, and makes you feel so much worse afterwords. The shame, the guilt, the secrets. Its starts off so simple, a cut here and there, just a tiny flesh wound. Then you do it everyday, you get deeper and deeper and it becomes an addiction. Even when your having a good day, you will want to do it, just to feel that sensation. It becomes an addiction, it makes you feel ten times worse. You're better off seeking help before it becomes an irreversible part of your life and those scars will haunt you. Hopefully I could help you somehow.
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#4
Apr 03, 2011, 07:13 PM
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Thank you both for your support! I don't really think i need help and i'm afraid to tell anyone- including my best friend and/or my parents... i'm going to try and tell my best friend tommorow or the next day! You guys helped me feel better- i know that someone cares!!
__________________
.:*~Standing in the pouring rain~*:. 
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#5
Apr 03, 2011, 10:54 PM
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Tell your friend if you can. A huge part of what made cutting become a problem for me was the secrecy. No one knew, so it got out of control. Also, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but stopping now will be much easier than stopping weeks, months, or years from now.
As for the issues that led to this, I can relate somewhat. My mom has several health issues as well, and my parents don't exactly get along either. On how to deal with that, I wish I had some magical perfect advice for you. Honestly I don't because that doesn't really exist. I don't know if you believe this or not, but if you think any of your parents problems are because of you, that is not true. I know parents having issues can be stressful. I don't know how old you are, but there's usually a point where you realize that your parents problems are just that, their problems. You have to live your own life. They both love you, which is what matters most. Now, your dad's health issues. Do you mind me asking what they are? My mom has dealt with severe arthritis since I was born, and now may have cancer. Each of those is stressful in a different way, so if it's similar to either I may have better advice for you. As far as your friend, you may be able to settle things between you. I don't know how to help with that (it's amazing I have friends myself lol) other than just tell him how you feel. Last but not least, what you said about your father and your weight/eating. Don't let it affect how you see yourself. Ask him to stop and tell him why it bothers you. If you want to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, then don't. It's your life, your body. |
 Tori1124
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#6
Apr 03, 2011, 11:02 PM
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Quote:
Thank you so much for replying!!
__________________
.:*~Standing in the pouring rain~*:.
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| Nemo39122
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#7
Apr 05, 2011, 09:40 PM
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Xx Not Emo xX is very right. What made my SH worse is that I kept it a secret and no one knew until I was 1 year in. Telling your friends and seeking support from them is the best you can do until you feel it necessary to seek professional help. Good luuck on your journey to healing <3
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| Nemo39122, Tori1124
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#8
Apr 06, 2011, 06:03 AM
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How are you feeling now Tori?
__________________
Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#9
Apr 06, 2011, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Thanks for your concern!! 
__________________
.:*~Standing in the pouring rain~*:.
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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