[hereiam]

this is it. honestly, i have no idea what im feeling or why im feeling it. my ups, my downs, my depression, my anxiety...all of this is so overwhelming and i dont know how to do deal with it. i could see a t, but id never tell, just because i can't find the words and i know id mess it up. i hate this so much. i dont know why i thought i could go more than 6 months. i dont know why i thought i could stop at all. i really, really, really hate this. can someone tell me why i cant just be normal? be happy? hell, id even go for being depressed if it meant feeling one steady way for more than a day.

im sorry to complain, i just don't know what else to say.

(((((((((((((hereiam))))))))))))
I know how it feels to have your ups and downs to be our of your control. Don't give up!

[JustBen]

If you feel too intimidated to tell a therapist because you're afriad you'd screw it up, could you maybe write down what you're going through? That way, you could let them know and not have to worry about saying the wrong thing.

[Lexicon78]

Hang in there...you can do this...just do it one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up if you mess up, you can just start over as long as it's not too serious, ya know?

[bipolar_bear]

Hang in there hereiam. It is so hard when you are up and down. Confusing and overwhelming. You wouldn't mess anything up. I try and write things down when I can't seem to speak them aloud. A t really could help you sort through some of what you are going through. Don't get to discouraged relapses happen. Be patient with yourself. Please try and be safe.

[hereiam]

i didnt cut. i swore i was going to, it was the only release I could see. but after I posted on here, some things happened, and it distracted me long enough.

thanks for all your kind, kind words. my best wishes and thoughts are to all of you!

[Rapunzel]

Good job! Even if you got distracted, you let that work for you, and you deserve more credit than it sounds like you are giving yourself.