Not a cutter, but... (Trigger Warning!)

I'm bipolar 1 with no history of self injury. I've been in a manic episode for the last several weeks. And for some reason my mind has been obsessing about cutting.

Last night I even took a pair of sharp scissors and began pushing it into the skin of my hand. I never broke the skin and eventually put the scissors away, forcing myself to "snap out of it."

This isn't the first time I've thought about cutting. When I was in a very depressed state a while back I also thought about it.

Does bipolar lead to cutting? Are they related?

I'm really confused about why I feel like this and don't know what to do.

Please don't think I'm trying to minimize self injury. Because I'm not.

Even if the two are not directly linked, it would make sense to have the urge to self-injure with a background of bipolar 1. You're in emotional distress, and typically people will self-injure because the physical pain helps take away some of the emotional (not for everyone, just from what little I know and have experienced with SI).

I would suggest talking to someone about it, a therapist if you see one and are comfortable talking to them about it. Or if not, you can talk to me, I don't mind at all. But please don't hurt yourself <3

Thank you for your reply. I told my therapist that cutting had been on my mind. We didn't talk much about it though. That was when I first began thinking about it.

Now, whenever I think about doing it, I get a little shot of adrenaline and a little "voice" that says: This will make you feel better. It's something different.

My next appt. with my tdoc I'll raise the issue again. My meds are going to be tweaked in the next few weeks, so hopefully that will help.

Thanks again!

If the "voice" is telling you it'd help because it's something different, it's both wrong and misdirected. It is wrong because self-injury will not help. It is misdirected because maybe something different WILL help, but I'd suggest the difference be in where or how you spend your free time, or taking up a new hobby, something creative to keep your hands busy, or even just doing the crossword from a newspaper to keep your mind busy for a while.

That voice that tells you to cut, sounds like it is the unrealistic part of us. It fools us into thinking that destructive behavior will be better than finding a different way to deal with our pain.

I know that bipolars carry anger within us. I think that anger comes from being exposed to repeated threats to our person as we were growing up. They could have been real or our perceptions as a child.

That part of us that is unrealistic, appears to think that turning anger inward will dispel it. It tricks us well. Cutting does relieve our emotional pain as long as we believe it does.

I finally broke my urge by asking myself a series of questions that looked at what self injury would really do to help the problem I was dealing with. Even if the problem was depression, anxiety, rage or a combination. by the time I finished answering the questions the urge passed. Over time I could reject the urge much faster and easier.

Hope this is of some help.