[Jordy]

I've started a DBT skills group in Novembre, and for the last 4 or 5 session there was this guy who doesn't cover his arms even though they are full of major scars from self-harm. This guy is really nice and I don't want to make him feel bad, or self-conscious, I think it's great that he trusts the group enough to show his scars. Problem is this has been quite triggering to me, to the point where I cut myself yesterday... obviously it's not the only reason why I self-harmed, I know it's my fault and I take responsibility for my actions. But since I started seeing his scars, my urge to self-harm is becoming a problem again, whils it wasn't one for years...
My T already knows that I keep thinking about self-harming, but I didn't tell her why. I don't want to ask this guy to cover up, it's my problem if I can't deal with seeing his scars...

So what do you think? Should I tell her or not? Would be easier if she wasn't also this guy's T...

actually you seeing something and reacting means you need to work on your "distress tolerance" (a DBT skill).

I know cuz I just had to go through it for similar reasons.

In other words - do NOT have him cover it. And use your DBT skills to let your anxiety / stress / urges pass......... This maybe a great thing for you. It may allow you to deal with a "real life" situation and conquer it while in a group setting.

God bless.

[Jordy]

Don't worry I don't want him to cover up. The think is I'm fine with seeing his scars while in group, I may have one or the other intrusive thoughts about it, but I'm fine with it 99% of the time. And when I'm not it's more like wondering what he used, how he did it... though I would never ask him directly.

The urge to self-harm is only strong in other stressful situations, like yesterday when a co-worker unknowingly triggered a flashback. That's when I would have needed the distress tolerance skills, but hadn't the time to use them... I chose to go with the quick fix....

[Marshellette]

Yeah, bring it up. Or just stop going to the group. Therapy groups are a waste of time unless in total crisis. You should be outside enjoying the winter sun instead.

[Jordy]

well this groups helps me a lot except for this trigger, so no I won't stop going...