Marker.

Hey, I was recently looking back at my one month without cutting and trying to figure out how I did it. My secret-red washable marker, or red washable paint. I would do exactly what I would to with a knife, but with something harmless. I would do it right before I take a shower and it was like this whole cleansing process. I could act on the impulse, get the same feelings out (somewhat) and not have he regret or anger towards myself afterwards. I hope you find this to be helpful in you journey. Thank you!(:

I have not cut for what seems like months now (since i found PC).
The red pen/marker is a good idea, i may have to adopt that one cause i still get the urges but i have not acted upon them......yet.

I got red paint i could use.
I think my days of cutting are now behind me for now, i hope.


Congatulations on going a month without cutting. One month follows another and another, then next thing i/we know its been ages...

I love that idea...I don't have a red marker, though. Not sure that a green or blue would have the same effect

Sanada, I feel the same way. My signature is keeping the time since my last relapse. Sometimes I really want to, depending on the situation, but it thankfully doesn't get the best of me.

Glad to hear this helps you, Babycds. Little things like this can have a big influence on recovery.

i noticed you're signature before and I think its a great idea to remind ones self of how long its been. With every passing month it becomes more clear that we have alternatives in life to hurting ourself's.

Congratulations too, I'll get to the 6 month marker to, soon.

One thing I do know is that PC has helped me get through this (meaning all the members), and I'm sure all would agree PC is a good support site (OK, the best support site).

Different colors often work, I started with a blue and I think seeing the lines on my arm and being able to wash them away was relieving, any color will probably work, I just found red being true to what I wanted. I has really saved me from acting on my impulses, and makes me feel better in the end! Congratulations on your "sobriety"(:

Your right, you look back and think "wow, I CAN do this." It has been a really hard month, because I hadn't done it for 10 months before that, when I had a "relapse" and it was so had to get back on track. One day I was coloring when the marker slipped and it made a red line on my hand. I thought it was blood, but when I washed it off, I realized it was marker. It was a revelation. And it helps. Instead of cutting 3-6 times a day, I color on my arm 3-6 times a day, and everyday it becomes less and less. I think after a while when you use marker or paint you just see that there is no use and your urge to cut/color slowly goes away. And God willing one day it will just stop. Congrats on your "sobriety" (:

Thanks guys I just took a shower and did it while in the shower. While doing so, noticed that the marker I was using (I found a red one) was permanent. Oops. It still washed off, though. The funny thing is that right before doing it, I was kind of scared - like it would hurt me. This is probably because my mind recognized the feeling of excitement and thus produced the same adrenaline (if this makes sense...)

My last relapse really scared me because I needed medical attention. Staying SI free wasn't really that hard because I was too afraid of the consequences to act on my urges again. It just wasn't worth it. But the urges do come, especially when someone hurts my feelings (such as by talking about me behind my back, etc). These are the times when SI is most appealing, but thankfully the urges never materialized.

Getting the same feeling is the point, except it won't hurt you and it will wash away. Thank goodness it washed away(: The marker is instead of a blade. I'm glad you tried it!(: