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#1
Jul 19, 2011, 06:48 PM
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Trigger warning!
So I started SIing a few months ago after a looonnnnggg break from it, and lately it was getting worse and worse(as in more often and deeper cuts). I finally told my T about it 2 weeks ago, and she has been helpful dealing with it(did not freak out at all like I thought she would). A couple days ago, in a hopeful mood, I threw out my blades...and told T that today, which of course she was really happy and proud about. But I feel so weak again now. I want to do it. I NEED to do it. I just want to drive to the store and buy some more and just cut and release. I don't know how to NOT do it. It is becoming addicting. Those that are recovering, or have stopped, how did you stop these obsessive thoughts??? What did you do when you just NEEDED to do it, to see the blood, etc?? And FTR, none of the hand in ice, rubberband tricks, etc work. I can't find anything that seems to work. EEEK. 
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#2
Jul 19, 2011, 07:05 PM
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((((doodle)))) I think about how it's summer and it would suck to have to wear long clothes to cover up. Heh. I am so so sorry you are suffering and hope you can reach out (maybe call your shrink for a little post-session talk?). That is definitely bad luck having the feelings come back immediately after throwing out the razor blades and it makes me wonder if there's a correlation.
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 *doodles*
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#3
Jul 19, 2011, 07:05 PM
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Do you understand what is causing your urges right now? Did something happen or are you having feelings right now that are overwhelming?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| *doodles*
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#4
Jul 19, 2011, 07:32 PM
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Thanks lyib, I would love to call my T....but I can't...
 Hate phones. Hate bothering T. Hate needing help, etc...I'm sure there is a correlation...maybe anxiety about not having access to that coping skill? Sannah, I don't really know. I feel like it is because it has become such a habit/addiction to me, its just making me anxious to stop. Theres no overwhelming emotions or numbness which are usually what leads me to do it...just bucketloads of anxiety. |
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#5
Jul 19, 2011, 07:37 PM
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Quote:
I seriously think though that it is pretty pivotal to try to give up a bad habit like this and that your T should know. It's not even bothering, it's keeping them updated! |
| *doodles*
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#6
Jul 19, 2011, 07:40 PM
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Do you feel like you can't cope without the SI? Is this what is causing the anxiety? It's like a security blanket that you can't have?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| *doodles*
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#7
Jul 19, 2011, 08:08 PM
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lyib, well she knows about throwing them out...calling her would just help with the urges NOW...which feels bothersome....
Sannah, yes, that is exactly it. Give me my blankie back! |
| Sannah
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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