I hate my life....

Finally after a few weeks of not going to T I go.... and end up SI'ng like 3 times in two days.

T said that it is Self-Loathing... not even sure how to cope with this info... any suggestions??

In away this would make me mad but in another way I would ask myself if I am really self-loathing or if T was being heartless. To be honest with you I would probably just let blow off and forget what they said unless I thought they where really wrong for what they said or if they were right. What do i need to change it? Take care and Be SAFE!!

Right now... I don't want to do anything but be lazy... Part of that is good but it also brings on some urges. I also haven't really been interested in anything. Or really wanting food. All I want to do is sleep, or watch netflix.

Maybe you should talk to you T about this.

Or get a new one... feeling crappy after a session... I was doing okay before hand but now it's just so. hard. I've been in some situations that have gotten out of hand because of what she told me.

This post really stuck out to me, because I've been there before too. What I've learned, though, is that therapy isn't meant to be easy. Sometimes it's really hard, and it can be very emotional. But that's how it's meant to be. If therapy is always easy for you, then that's probably a sign that it isn't working as well as it should be. Don't quit therapy because it gets difficult for you, because that means that it is working. It means you're getting to the bottom of problems that you try not to think about, that you're working through your emotions rather than keeping them inside. Obviously that is going to be a struggle, but it's one that's worth it.

As for the cutting, do you think that therapy is what triggered you to cut? Maybe talking about your emotions made them more real and difficult for you, and that drove you to hurt yourself. There are a number of possibilities, but only you know the real reason why you cut, even if you can't figure it out just yet. But I definitely think you should talk to your therapist about things like this, and try to use some more positive coping mechanisms whenever you feel the need to self harm. It's not easy to do so, but it is more likely to help you than cutting.

I hope you feel better soon, and that therapy works for you. Just try to stick with it, it can really make a difference if you give it a shot.

that's the thing though... I just don't feel comfortable talking to T about any SI method, or reasoning behind the method. Feeling bad.... but when it starts to affect others around me... then there is a problem. The method that I use... not one of my treatment team understands.... and with out some understanding... I'm not going to be comfortable talking about something so hard... without understanding of why it is that way. If that even makes any senses

If something that your T says sends you into a tail spin I would say that this is definitely something that you need to work on. Healthy people can tolerate anything that anyone says. This is the place that you need to work towards. Going back to therapy and telling your T how you responded to what she said is the first step in working through that. What happened needs to be analyzed and worked through. If you work through this you will be able to put it behind you and you won't react at this level again to that trigger.