[Nemo39122]

There's always another thing. Every time I get through one issue, specifically without SI, then in no time at all there's another one. I always get through whatever the issue is, thinking things will get better once I do. That there's no need to SI, things will get better. But they never do, do they? There's always something else, just waiting while I get through one thing, waiting for its turn. It's like I'm playing a ****ed up game of mental whack-a-mole or something.
I try to get through crap without self-destructing, I really do, but it's like I've used up all my energy for that kind of thing already and I'm just tired. I still tried to avoid SI....drinking instead turned into a bad idea (who would've guessed...). I also tried writing instead. Writing used to be the only non-self destructive thing that's kept me from SI long term. So I tried to write again. I just ended up triggering myself. Badly.

Yeah, 2 threads in less than a day. Not doing so great am I? I wasn't entirely sure where to even post this, because it's not strictly an SI issue. Just the fact that once one issue is dealt with, there comes another is getting to me. But considering the fact that it's just making the urges from the current issue worse, I figured it was most appropriate to post here.

Does anyone else feel like when you get through one thing, more crap ALWAYS pops up? I'd just like a little break, that's all. I know that deep down I don't want to go back to SI. But I'm running out of alternatives. The scary part is, I honestly don't care.

[googley]

((((((((((Dory))))))))))

I totally understand the thing about one thing getting taken care of then another one popping up. I totally have that happen. I see dealing with issues like peeling an oinion. As soon as you take one level away another pops up. But that means you are so much stronger for getting through that last level without SIing. That you can use the strength you got from dealing with that issue to work through the next one. I've had it suggested to me that the use of good coping practices is a muscle that you need to exercise. As you exercise it with one issue, it is stronger for the next one. Good job on being SI free. You are doing really good work.

[Nightside of Eden]

I know the feeling you're talking about, Nemo. For months this summer I was just too tired to fight anymore, too many things had gone wrong in too short a period of time. The sort of issues we're dealing with have a way of just draining your energy. I think that's one of the worst parts of it all.

But SIing won't solve any of the issues, and will just create one more for you to deal with. I wish I had better advice than telling you to just keep going through the motions of life and not do anything to make it worse, but I really don't. Just hang in there, hon. Feeling so tired and hopeless won't last forever, because nothing in life (good or bad) lasts forever. That's just not the way life works.

[mistyeyed]

Originally Posted by Nemo39122

There's always another thing. Every time I get through one issue, specifically without SI, then in no time at all there's another one. I always get through whatever the issue is, thinking things will get better once I do. That there's no need to SI, things will get better. But they never do, do they? There's always something else, just waiting while I get through one thing, waiting for its turn. It's like I'm playing a ****ed up game of mental whack-a-mole or something.
I try to get through crap without self-destructing, I really do, but it's like I've used up all my energy for that kind of thing already and I'm just tired. I still tried to avoid SI....drinking instead turned into a bad idea (who would've guessed...). I also tried writing instead. Writing used to be the only non-self destructive thing that's kept me from SI long term. So I tried to write again. I just ended up triggering myself. Badly.

Yeah, 2 threads in less than a day. Not doing so great am I? I wasn't entirely sure where to even post this, because it's not strictly an SI issue. Just the fact that once one issue is dealt with, there comes another is getting to me. But considering the fact that it's just making the urges from the current issue worse, I figured it was most appropriate to post here.

Does anyone else feel like when you get through one thing, more crap ALWAYS pops up? I'd just like a little break, that's all. I know that deep down I don't want to go back to SI. But I'm running out of alternatives. The scary part is, I honestly don't care.

Took the words right out of my head.. especially tonight. I hadn't cut since February--then one conversation with my ridiculous ex and i'm back to square 1. You fix one thing and save for a few minor blips on the radar there's always something that pushes you over that cliff again.. sigh

[kaliope]

Nemo
I can certainly identify with what you are saying. I have been there. But I can also tell you, that if you keep working at it, it DOES eventually get better. I cant tell you if its finally finding the right meds, or the therapy, but for me, it has finally got better. I took DBT and that taught me a lot on learning how to identify my emotions and learning how to handle them in a healthier way. I think that probably helped a lot. Life is totally different now. I still think about SI on a regular basis, though it isnt nearly as intense. I just let the thoughts slip through my mind, come and go. Its probably been well over a year and a half since I have cut. But problems dont rule my life anymore. It is the greatest feeling. Hang in there.

[Sannah]

Yeah, there is no such thing as an easy life for anyone. Being healthy, however, enables a person to deal with the emotions that result from life. Are you in therapy so that you can learn how to deal with emotions?