[adam_k]

My wife betrayed my trust a week ago and are starting to reconcile. She admit she felt a lot of guilt for what she did and she scratched herself. It was really bad. She also admited she sat on the back porch naked in the cold for 3 hours to punish herself.

I didn't know how to respond, other than asking are you ok. I treated her scratches with some antibiotic. She doesn't appear to have anything worng from the cold.

I have had a history if self harm, but I never had anyone I knew that did it. What do you even say? I don't think she will do it again. I worry about her well being.

[smmath]

i know your both going through a lot right now with the relationship. i think that it might be a good idea for you to start a dialogue about how si isn't good and that even though she hurt you, you don't want her to hurt herself. conversation can be tough, but if she's up for it i think having an honest conversation about some tough stuff will only help you both. maybe let her know that hurting herself won't fix anything and even though you don't want her to do it, it doesn't excuse what she did.

hopefully that wasn't terrible advice :-)

--Samantha

[adam_k]

That's good advice. I was just in shock a little that she did it.

[Harley47]

Smmath gave perfect advice (and has an adorable avatar! ). She needs to understand from you that while you are hurt, you don't wish to see her hurt. She being in pain doesn't soothe your own pain, you know? If anything, it probably makes it worse.

I am, perhaps, glad she is remorseful...I'd feel worse if she just kept on trucking, so to speak. But I am sorry this is weighing on you...I know this must be hard.

Please know you are both in my prayers, and I wish you my best.

Hugs,
Harley