[confuseduk]

*I leave the gas on, walk the alleys in the dark
Sleep with candles burning, I leave the door unlocked
I'm weaving a rope and running all the red lights
Did I get your attention? 'Cause I'm sending all the signs

That the clock is ticking and I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black you'd best prepare a speech
Say something funny, say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me

I'm still breathing
But we've been dead for a while
This sickness has no cure, we're going down for sure
Already lost our grip, best abandon ship, oh*

This song has really spoken to me, I feel like I'm taking more risks, thinking about throwing myself down the stairs, hurting myself, or walking home in the dark, hoping I'll be ok but then feeling a bit disappointed when I get home safely. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just feel like I deserve to hurt and have bad things happen. Is this normal?

[stern]

Normal people like to be secure. That's not normal. You might have regrets for which you think you should be punished or may be you feel ignored and you think you are not loveable so wanna get yourself hurt. Whatever the reason is try to identify it and share your problem with someone reliable. Hope that would be helpful...