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#1
Jan 19, 2006, 12:04 AM
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today i woke up and felt very very happy, for about 2 minutes then i realized that feeling was gone. then during school my day was going ok, you might have called me happy. towards the end of the day i got anxious though. i drove home, ate, and then set off back to school for a banquet for a retiring teacher. i hated it, and i nearly flipped out trying to sit there and pretend i was ok with it. i managed though, then went home. after the meeting, i was in a mood though.
i went home, and realized i couldnt do homework...i sat and watched tv and have been listening to trance on my headphones for hours now. i began by punching myself in the head, then i completely destroyed a fussball table. then i found my knife and i slashed up my left arm, ive never cut before. i didnt want to kill myself, i just wanted to watch it bleed. and i hit myself in the head so i will stop thinking because it gets unbearable, there is no control in my mind, voices just keep asking questions and harassing myself. i took some blood and wiped it on my face and just stared in the mirror for a while. i wanted to break a plate on my head but my urge died down some, and i didnt get to it. what is wrong with me? btw...im seeking help soon. |
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#2
Jan 19, 2006, 01:13 AM
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James, you sound really angry. Is there something that you might be angry about? Or might not realize you are angry about?
What are your plans for getting help? We don't do this stuff for no reason, and if it's to the point of hurting ourselves like this, it's probably more than you can be expected to deal with on your own. So getting help is a really good idea. Rap
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#3
Jan 19, 2006, 11:47 AM
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i dont think im angry at anything, i just want my head to be quiet and it wont so i lost it. i feel fine right now.
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#4
Jan 19, 2006, 10:17 PM
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Aww hun
(hugs if they are safe) Its pretty weird when stuff like that happens isin't it. I think you should definely see if you can see someone soon, but like she said there is usually a reason and it seems like your head is a little too busy right now. I know what that is like. does listening to music help to lessen it any? |
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#5
Jan 20, 2006, 10:37 PM
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yeah, trance sends me to some other planet
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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