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#1
Nov 03, 2011, 11:45 PM
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I recently noticed that a friend of mine cuts. I saw her by accident and she quickly covered up. Later I told her "I know you're cutting and if you ever want to talk about it I'm here." Is there anything else I can do or do I leave it up to her? I know judging and lecturing would be very bad. Plus there's no reason to judge. That is not how I deal with my stress and problems but she took a different root than I did. I do self injure on occasion but never cutting. I'm more of a fracture my hand against a wall or slam my head into something until I finally lose consciousness type of person. Mine is rare and very far between. Usually a reaction to something that not only pees in my Wheaties but takes a dump as well. I just want to know what I can do to help her.
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 sarek
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#2
Nov 05, 2011, 03:00 PM
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I think what you said was very good. Hopefully she will take up your offer.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Raindropvampire
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#3
Nov 06, 2011, 10:54 AM
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Hosestly I think just making sure she knows she isnt alone is a great thing. You know your friend better than i do so you'll know what makes her generally upset. So be careful not to just put her into the category of "cutters" but that she is your friend and is upset about something.
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| Raindropvampire
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#4
Nov 07, 2011, 02:32 AM
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Thank you for the responses. She did talk with me over the weekend. After much talk and a lot of crying and hugging I hit on something that she said she would like. I feel stupid admitting this but I have this amazing sticker collection. I started it about 28 years ago so you can imagine how many photo albums that sucker takes up. Well she's always loved to look at my stickers can spend hours doing it. So I told her I'd start a sticker collection for her. Everyday she gets a sticker just cuz I love her. Then if she wants to cut but calls me instead and we talk about it and lets me at least try to help her through it then I put in another sticker one she gets to pick from my collection. I told her she gets it even if after we talk she still cuts because at least she reached out and tried. She seems really excited about this I mean kid in a toy store excited. We also decided that if she hits something like 3-5 days without self injuring then extra stickers. Extra stickers at 10 days plus something that she wants like a new shirt or a purse of something my treat. I told her I didn't want her to feel like a kid that I'm bribing. She said she likes the idea because she will have something tangible to look at that tells her someone cares that much about her plus she can see progress she has made. We'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed!
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| Sanada, Sannah
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#5
Nov 07, 2011, 04:15 AM
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You sound like an awesome friend, the kind of friend I hope I can make before I die. Points for the sticker/item idea, and good luck
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| Raindropvampire, Sannah
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#6
Nov 07, 2011, 10:31 AM
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Wow, you really are a wonderful friend for her.
__________________
YOU are a beautiful, inherently powerful, irreplaceable, unique and wonderful being of infinite worth and value. |
| Raindropvampire, Sannah
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